Miami University fraternities and sororities will be forced to hire security and designate "sober monitors" at Greek events this year. Why, oh, why would such drastic measures be needed you ask?

If you remember your history, the sororities of Miami University had a very exciting, very sloppy spring. Highlights included:

• Allegedly drunkenly chasing a party bus driver around a parking lot after harassing said driver and ruining the bus with trash and various bodily fluids, after partying at the Cincinnati Zoo, no less?
• Alleging that the bus driver was the drunk one and it was all his fault?
• Straight wrecking shit at the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center?
• Turning the Lake Lindsay Lodge into the site of the pukiest, poopiest, sexiest spring formal ever in the history of pukey, poopy, sexy spring break formals?
• 
  
  Those seem like likely causes for these new rules. But what other rule will be implemented that is destined to fail and cause more Bacchanalian mischief? The equal sober and not-sober events. When you think of people that know not how to pregame, certainly frat boys and sorority girls are at the top of your list.
  
  Miami University fraternity, sorority events will need 'sober monitor' [Cincinnati Enquirer]