Deadspin
The ongoing saga of the Chinese government attempting to train their fans and citizens to act like normal people for next year's Olympics continue to amuse. The newest endeavor: Cheering instructional exercises.
We don't know what's wrong with the current cheers.
"Zhongguo, Zhongguo — ha, ha, ha. Zhongguo, Zhongguo bi sheng. Jia you, jia you." Rough translation: "China, China — ha, ha, ha. China, China must win. Let's go, let's go."
This is just like Oakland Raiders fans, except they have maces. Oh, and guns.
I Command You To Cheer For China [100 Percent Injury Rate]
Comments
Are we sure "China, China -- ha, ha, ha. China, China must win. Let's go, let's go" isn't an ESPN featured comment of the day?
The ongoing saga of the Chinese government attempting to train their fans and citizens to act like normal people...
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So, when the fans cheer "China must win," but the team/individual on the field loses, what happens next?
Didn't Norby put out an internal memo addressing this?
"ha, ha, ha"? must be watching a Knicks game.
@ArkansasFred: No need, that's what Yahoo! is for.
The question is, will they have a Cheerbudsman who provides bi-weekly instructions on cheering etiquette? And do I stand a chance of winning Chinese Cheers of the Fortnight?
That chant is also Yao's cell phone ringtone
Also, I thought Pachinko machines were Japanese.
We used to play a drinking game that had almost the exact same chant in it.
Hey China...Give me an "R"...! Give me a "W"...!
wait, what?
Yeah I'll have a wonton soup, an order of crab rangoons, and the beef with snow peas, please.
China is not a cheerocracy.
Those who do not cooperate by cheering will be locked in underground jail cells for the duration of the Games. Hopefully an agent will unlock those cells during the marathon, and hilarity will ensue.
"Watch what you chant or we're pulling our sponsorship"
- Coke
but they are identical in that they will kill their first born if it isnt a Son
when i was in beijing i was worried about the guard at tiananmen square shooting me and/or detaining me for taking his picture. then i picked a black booger out of my nose and walked away quickly.
"China, China must win"? Apparently the Little Red Book is big on expository declaration. No "Metaphors and Subtleties" chapter.
They must be cheering Speed Racer, HA HA! But, wait? Isn't he Japanese? HA HA! I guess it's, Ok, HA HA! They all look the same, HA HA! Racism is bad HA HA!
"This is just like Oakland Raiders fans, except they have maces. Oh, and guns."
Are you saying Oakland Raider fans don't have guns?
@ArkansasFred: Will is becoming more Andy Rooney everyday
The lesson on making funny acronym signs to get on NBC is gonna be a bitch.
China, China, ha, ha, ha! China must win! Or we all die! Ha, ha, ha!
"China, China, ha ha ha. China, China must win. Ret's go, ret's go!"
@44 in a Row: Mao is a cheertator.
There will also be a severe crackdown on the playing of jokes, thus limiting any potential urine ingestion.
just wait until japan invades, steals their cheers and rapes their athletes.
@Lady Andrea: This is a chant that will never work in the Olympics. It is just too difficult.
"China, China, ha ha ha. China, China must win. Or we will be executed."
Fixed.
I dunno, all of their cheers look the same to me...
"It's ha ha ha !!!!!
NOT ha ha ha ha!!!!
What are we, savages?"
@LeNoceur: Damn.
Hey, it must be catchy. After all, 1,000,000,000 Chinese can't be wrong.
They've got a surprise up their collective sleeve. They're gonna shock your minds by singing along with a little-heard song called "Zombie Nation*".
* Or "Kerncraft 4000"
@Im a people person. Who drinks.: No real need. They'd rather employ the "Silver & Black Paint and Feather" torture technique than something as mundane as a shooting.
@blastitbiggs: Or "Thriller"
@Lady Andrea: Cheerman Mao. Obviously.
Fuck 'em all
Fuck 'em all
USA Russia Germany
cause we are the China and we are the best
We are the China so fuck lion
/Millwalled
"Zhongguo, Zhongguo -- ha, ha, ha. Zhongguo, Zhongguo bi sheng. Jia you, jia you ♬ Gary Glitter guitar solo ♬"
Hey'd.
The forced "ha ha ha" track will be beta-tested at the Mike and Mike roast.
@I Heart Poop: Oh. Wow.
Their factory jobs and cheering fans are making Buffalo jealous
I'm surprised the Chinese aren't making cheaper knockoffs of the South Korean human billboards.
They are just the chants of drunk old men who have no idea where they are and no longer care.
/Dr Khlan
Seriously, what the fuck is up with the comments? Anyone else experiencing a problem?
Legalism - You will be arrested if you don't cheer.
Taoism - there is no cheer/you are the cheer.
Confucionism - You must cheer or shame your family.
Buddhism - Cheering is suffering.
Maoism - Remember Tiananmen Square? Clap your fucking hands.
@blastitbiggs: I've seen that, and it's not a pretty sight.
@Jankie: oh, well done. Well done you.
Can someone explain to me why we call their country China and they're own people call it Zhongguo? Just like how we say Germany, they say Deutschland.
When they do the wave, it's visible from space.
@ArmansCopyOfSwank: +10
Cheering? Go read the New Yorker's story last month about Chinese drivers. Fucking hilarious and horrifying at the same time.
(unfortunately it's not online)
"Zhongguo, Zhongguo -- ha, ha, ha.
Ziggy zoggy
Ziggy zoggy
Oi oi oi
Reminds me of that guy The Fox who used to drink beer really fast and then mysteriously died from liver failure.