Deadspin
Roger Clemens walked off the mound for, presumably, the final time last night, because of a balky hamstring ... we suppose. Mostly it looked like a guy finally realizing he had nothing left except for, of course, $22 million.
It's not the first time Clemens has walked off the postseason stage while struggling because of "injury." In fact, it's becoming a downright pattern.
1990 ALCS Game Four. Clemens, already allowing a run in the second inning, allows two more base runners. The second on a walk. With Mike Gallego at the plate, Roger starts swearing at the home plate umpire. He gets ejected (supposedly in a trancelike state). The inherited runners score. Boston gets swept.
1999 ALCS Game Two. Boston fans don't know that General Manager Dan Duquette thought him finished. So when he comes back, he gets the Darryl Strawberry treatment. He gives up five in the first. Lasts 2 and 1/3 innings claiming a bad back. The Yankees lose their only postseason game 13-1.
We know Clemens is a 45-year-old man, and that often makes one, you know, a bit more susceptible to injury. But Clemens does have a habit of taking his ball and going home. He might stay there this time.
Roger Clemens Has No Heart [Cake Rocks The Party]
Comments
That is one bold statement.
Blame his cell phone service.
A-Rod is grabbing some boob before he leaves.
"Taking his ball and going home?" Are we talking about Kruk now?
I hope this is the end of the most insufferable asshole since Fran Drescher
Maybe Roger wouldn't have such bad legs if he didn't carry around all $22 million in his wallet.
@LingeringBursitis: I'll take Cybil Shepard for the block.
1986 Game Six of the World Series. Roger claims he has a blister and John McNamara takes him out. Claims he could have pitched. John McNamara claims he asked out.
That was the most appropriate way for Roger Clemens's career to end (if, in fact, it ever does).
The devil has come to claim his soul. Goodbye you big fat fuck.
Now all he has to look forward to is going home to that hollering bitch of a wife* of his.
*I belive everything I see on cellular phone commercials
@MitchKayak: Followed by an Arod v. Debbie Clemens catfight.
I'm ready to go home now, too. If someone could give me $22 million to fall back on, I'll fake an injury to my most important typing finger.
@Weed Against Speed: *believe
We know Clemens is a Steroid/HGH User and that often makes one, you know, a bit less susceptible to injury.
GOODNESS GRACIOUS
He's already starting his HGH cycling so he can be 'ready' again in July.
The Rocket is looking forward to "Bingo Night Thursdays" with Steinbrenner and the rest of the retirement-home gang.
For a guy who has 12 postseason wins and 200 innings pitched 2 rough games is hardly a pattern.
On the plus side, he'll be home in time for Matlock!
@Tuffy: At least Cybill was somewhat attractive once, although you'd have to go back to the mid-70s to find it
@Jen P: I believe I have srtained my eyes on the endless powerpoint and conference call shenanigans this morning. I am going home. I am willing to leave for 5 million.
Delhomme done for the season. Let the Carr era begin in Carolina.
/threadjack
@EdFinnerty: You'd better believe that De La Hoya will be promoting that one.
The thing that irks me about Roger's cell phone ad is that he is remarkably amusing, but Debbie could've made her end of the "conversation" so much funnier. She's so stiff. Making jazz hands and pursing your lips and saying "no" over and over again isn't funny.
Oh, this isn't a media criticism blog? My bad.
that'll do, pig.
@RoyMcAvoy: Starting with the 2004 postseason, when he started doing the gun-for-hire BS: 43 1/3 IP, 43 H, 23 ER. I would say that's a bit of a pattern.
@Phony Gwynn: Call it arrogance or ignorance, but Roger showed guts taking the ball yesterday.
Whether he was hurt, or faking it, or whatever, during those last couple batters last night he definitely looked like he'd rather be anywhere else than on a pitchers mound. Really, he had the face of one of those kids in the spelling bee who just has no idea how to spell the word he was given--sweating, looking around, staring blankly, stalling. I actually kind of felt sorry for him.
@Da_Mang: Well. Here goes nuthin'...
@Marth: flagged for not being funny.
/pot, to kettle
"OF ALL THE SPECTACULAR THINGS I HAVE EVER SAW!!! ROGERS CLEMENS IS IN THE STADIUM AND HE'S GOING TO BE A NEW YORK YANKEEEEEE!!!!!!
@swayzegoescrazy: I'll call it ignorance, considering Hughes came in and shut the door. I'm not knocking the guy - he's the greatest pitcher I'll probably ever see. But when it's time to go...it's time to go.
Lest we forget, he pulled a similar stunt in Game 1 of the 2005 World Series as a member of the Astros.
He lasted only two inning and came out with a "strained hamstring" after getting whacked around by the Chi Sox.
@Phony Gwynn: I can tell you that when The TCM was with the Sox, he never rose to the occasion in the playoffs. If Roger had shown up and been Roger, instead of just a very good but not great kind of starter, in 1986, the Hendu HR and Buckner never would have happened. Instead, Bruce Hurst had to carry the team single-handedly.
His entire career has been like that -- he pitches well in the post-season, but not HOF-level well, and seems to bail out with "injuries" when the going gets rough.
if clemens at 45 can still get $22m a year to walk his fat ass out to the mound once every 5 days, i gotta think that nolan ryan at 60 is still worth maybe $15m a year. and he probably throws harder than curt schilling at this point.
@crazyjoedavola:
Amen...at least until some other half-bright chucklehead (Tom Hicks) lays out yet money long green for a season that most rookies would snub. Good riddance to white trash.
@Matt_T:
Nah, he'll just use Barry the Big Head's elk semen and use Jeter's technique to get it from the source.
@Dave Ryan: Yeah, I was surprised when I looked up his post-season numbers for that. They're definitely not mind-juggling. And then you've got somebody like Schilling who, while apart from being an annoying self-aggrandizer, has a solid career line: 220-something-ish wins, a Cy Young, yadda yadda yadda - but has been money in the post-season.
Not heard when Torre smacked him on the cheek last night: "I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart."
Clemens did the same "I am hurt routine" during Game 1 of the 2005 World Series.
Funny, when I heard Clemens came out after 2.1 innings I felt like he had done this in the post season a few times before, and sure enough he had. Hall of Famer? Definitely. One of the greatest pitchers of all time? Absolutely. Gigantic prick and narcissistic douche bag? No doubt.
He also knocked A-Rod on his ass twice and dominated Seattle in a one-hit 15 K shutout in 2000 playoffs... So lets not get carried away.
@Chad Sexington: .... after almost single-handedly making sure the Yankees didn't even reach that series by racking up 10 runs, 13 hits, and 8 walks in 11 innings over two starts vs. Oakland.
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
@Tuffy: Please, Cybil and Fran just wish they were in Chevy Chase's league.
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