Deadspin
Well, now that the dust has settled a bit, now that we've all had time to collect ourselves, rest up, sleep it off and compose ourselves ... we think we're ready to dig back into the Anna Benson divorce story.
Wait. We're not ready. Give us a second.
According to the New York Daily News, Anna caught Kris cheating on her with one of her friends. This, of course, begs the question: Anna Benson has friends? Anyway, Benson's publicist says, "She's completely crushed; she didn't see this coming. She had no choice but to take this action."
Hmm. Far be it from us to cast aspersions on the reputation of a woman with a shitload of guns, but let's look at the facts here. Just after a trade from the largest media market in the country to Baltimore, in the middle of spring training, Kris Benson decided that not only he was going to have sex with a woman who was not his wife, but specify that it be one of her friends? Really? Either Kris Benson is an even bigger moron than any of us could have possibly imagined ... or something's fishy about this tale. Or both, we suppose.
Bensons Kayoed [New York Daily News]
The Day The Music Died [Deadspin]
Do Not Mess With Anna Benson And Her Guns [Deadspin]
Comments
OK - NOW the question becomes relevant - who on the Mets gets first crack? Or did the rights to bang Anna transfer to Baltimore in the trade? And yes, I did just post this joke at the other Anna posting - but it's way at the bottom and now you all get to see how hilarious I am. Ugh.
Right now Sidney Ponson is SO disappointed to be a Cardinal.
There's got to be something else going on here. On a recent appearance on "Cold Pizza" (what? It was an ESPN Motion clip!), Anna indicated that she wouldn't be going to Baltimore, but would be staying in New York so she could "have all the action of New York to myself." She wasn't even going to go live in Baltimore with him, and now HE cheats on HER with one of her friends? Either this is a really well thought-out bit of revenge on her for something (which makes sense, because Kris is a really cerebral, anal-retentive asshole. He wanted to be like Maddux) or it's not true. What's more likely is that she got fed up with how ridiculously milquetoast he is, or Kris got sick of what a loudmouth idiot who sounds like she ate a carton of cigarettes that Anna is.
Them's some sloppy guns in that pic.
Man, those things look saggy in that photo.
Not quite sports related, but Russell Simmons and Kimora Lee just announced they are splitting up, putting the "Crazy Hot, but Crazy Crazy Ex-Wife" trifecta into play.
If she loses her top in a pool, she'll drop to the bottom like she's attached to an anchor.
I believe our British friends would call her a "slapper".
What's the over/under on the time it takes for her to sign a contract with Vivid Video? Six months? A year? I make fun, but I'd still hit it. With extreme prejudice.
The only reason anyone knows her name was because she is/was married to a MLB player. Crazy, decent-looking ex-strippers are dime a dozen. Take away her husband and she's dime a dozen. So if she likes the exposure she's gotten, she's going to have to do something "notable" in the next 18 months. Accidentally released porn videos have worked for others, and that's my prediction. I'm more sure of this prediction than my NL West.
I am just now REALLY regretting the day I gave up pursuit of a Major League career. I could have been an Oriole! Fennis, I have a dime, hook me up with a dozen!
Why would she be surprised that he cheated on her? HE MARRIED A STRIPPER! Off to the Surreal Life with both of them, their 15 minutes are up.
No matter how much major league alimony she gets, in the long run, Kris comes out ahead here.
She is trashy, but I REALLY like that picture.
Back when Eddie Murphy was funny: "Give me half, Eddie!"
FHM came in the mail today - with Anna on the cover! "Baseball's Hottest Housewife" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!!!titties
Barry, if you liked that one, this one is also fantastic: http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlny/media_people/anna_be...
Deadspin on PTI!!!!!!!!!!!
Her boobs are running away from each other - I think that she had 'em fixed...they don't look that "sloppified" now.
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