We think it's incredibly cute when sports people decide to hold awards show. NASCAR has been doing this for years, most hilariously, with a bunch of dudes spilling chaw on their tuxes. The ESPYs are pretty much the pinnacle of this; nothing could possibly beat Tiger Woods in a tuxedo trying to be cool while secretly thinking, "Boy, I sure could use some milk right now. Milk: Yum."

Well, something this dorky is simply too much for Major League Baseball to resist. For the July 9 All-Star Game in Detroit, MLB is going to have a red carpet outside Comerica Park to try to create an "Oscar-style atmosphere." All the players will be shuttled to the park in Chevrolet vans. This is absolutely true. We mean, who doesn't want to see Bobby Abreu escorted to a park in Detroit in a Lumina? That's glamour, ladies and gents.

All-Star Jones [Sports Business Daily] (subscription required)
The ESPYs [ESPN]