Deadspin
Yesterday, perpetual retiree Roger Clemens was in Houston to receive his National League Championship Ring. As usual, Clemens was asked about his plans for this season, whether he'll retire, whether he'll play, who he would play for, so on, ad nauseum. But then the conversation took a bizarre, and rather queasy, turn. Clemens was asked about the World Baseball Classic, specifically about the different fan communities from all across the globe. His response involved, uh, a discussion of why he was unable to get his dry cleaning in a prompt fashion.
"They said, 'You've got no chance,' they told me," Clemens said. "I said, 'I'm going to get it tomorrow, right?' And then she goes, 'No chance, we're going to the game.' So we couldn't get dry cleaning done out there, but I guess the neatest thing about them was there were about 50,000 of them at Anaheim Stadium, Korea and Japan.
We imagine Clemens having a similar discussion last season, after reaching on a single against the Dodgers, with first baseman Hee Seop Choi.
"So, hoss, I'm glad I've got you here. Listen, my guy is charging me $25 for a shirt and $40 for a suit. Doesn't that seem insane to ya'll? Forty bucks? Is that what you charge? You surely charge less than that, right?"
Clemens Gets NL Ring [ESPN]
Comments
Sign him up for Letterman!
That had American Psycho potential written all over it. "I have to return some videotapes!"
"Hey Rocker, what're ya'll doing tonight? Wanna come over and listen to some Molly Hatchet records?"
"And then we tried to get a cab to the game, but all the Middle Easterners were preparing for Jihad...couldn't even get a Slurpee." Clemens continued, "and with all the Mexicans watching Puerto Rico and Cuba, my yard was a shambles when we got home, and the house wasn't clean." But Clemens troubles didn't end their, "I was hoping to get some good teriyaki, but there was none to be found in all of Orange County. It was a good thing the Canadians got knocked out, eh. I actually had some maple syrup with my pre-game meal."
"Ancient Chinese secret, huh?"
Bleach-ee? Are you trying to say bleach-ee? Bleach-ee. Oh my God. Two things: One. You can't bleach a Soprani. Out of the question. Two. TWO! I can only get these sheets in Santa Fe. These are very expensive sheets and I really need them clean!!!
Charles, dynamite inference. I was thinking something similar, which probably means we're both crazy. I'm thinking that Clemens interview had about a 20% chance of going John Rocker. That would take him out of the Yankees sights right there.
I cannot believe that Jim Hendry has not signed this guy yet. The Rocket doesn't care about orientals.
Wow Red Sox Chick...that was a blast from the past. I haven't even thought about that commercial in 20 years. Good pull
At least no one outed him and Pettitte for their steroid use.
Start a discussion:
Login with your username and password below. Or comment on this post via email.
Forgot your username or password? New User?