Deadspin
So, for those who might have missed it yesterday, Cleveland Indians relief pitcher Scott Sauerbeck was arrested with a female companion after weaving drunkenly through traffic and then hiding in some bushes behind a house. (That's his mugshot, there.) No explanation had been given for the sudden dive-in-the-brush, but today, Sauerbeck attempted to shed some light on the situation, apologizing to his family and "fans" and giving a vague explanation for his behavior.
"In trying to do the right thing; I made a terrible error in judgment," Sauerbeck said. "It's something I'm going to have to life with the rest of my life. I'm a big boy, and I'm going to have to deal with it."
He said he couldn't "legally" get into the "do the right thing" statement, but we have a few guesses.
• The woman was suffering the side effects of blood pressure medication, and he was dragging her into the bushes to stealthily plunge an adreneline syringe into her heart.
• The people whose home he hid behind had a broken water pipe, and he thought he'd do some 3 a.m. fixing.
• He thought he saw Osama.
• Somebody yelled, "Hey, Carl Monday!"
Any guesses? We just want Sauerbeck's good deed to be properly rewarded.
Sauerbeck Apologizes For Arrest [Cleveland.com]
Scott Sauerbeck Tries The Old Hiding In The Bushes Routine [The Mighty MJD]
Comments
He was rushing to the aid of a "fan" who had broken his leg, and lay helpless in the bushes.
he was bangin some girl on the side (in his own hometown no less) and he couldn't be there when she picked up a dui or his wife could have found out. the moral: keep your action in the side limited to road destinations...like barry
I hope Modell's can stay in buiness with the obvious drop in Sauerbeck jerseys this is going to create.
I'm going to work a clean one, and then a dirty one. Clean: Scott comes from a long line of lawncare specialists, and that lawn needed his help, damn the timing! Dirty: Simple misunderstanding. The woman had just said that if she knew she was going to meet a ballplayer that night, she would have trimmed her bush. Good night, everybody!
pulling weeds.
I thought the side effect of blood pressure medication was homosexuality.
Shouldn't that be "Scott Sauerbeck apologizes to his fan"?
More disturbing is the fact that Cleveland ballpalyers apparently call manager Eric Wedge "Wedgie". Bet ol' Wedgie there commands some serious respect in that clubhouse.
Which is worse: making a "terrible error in judgement" with some skank in the bushes, or making a "bad decision" by yourself in a public library?
It is obvious that Sauerbeck just wanted to help his neighbor, who had been caught drunk-driving with some local slut, and who had taken refuge in his bushes. Scott dove in to the landscaping, as he wanted to talk to him about the perils of driving while intoxicated, adultery, etc. And if he had to get his hands a little dirty, well, that's just the type of neighbor Scott is. Unfortunately, when the police arrived, the neighbor had taken off, just as Scott was getting to the part of how stupid you could look hiding in bushes, drunk, with some babe (not your wife). Being a method actor, Scott was drunk, hiding in the bushes, with some babe (not his wife). Daniel Day-Lewis would do the same thing.
After he saw the police behind him, he dove into the bushes and pulled out his laptop so he could quickly drop himself in his fantasy league.
Also, by "the right thing", I'm pretty sure he meant anal.
Oh, so now we know the nickname of the young lady involved in the bush-jumping incident: "The Right Thing."
45 minutes after they stopped (that's how long it took the cops to find 'em) lily blows a .253. so scotty was riding shotgun in a '66 lincoln convertible with a woman who while possibly able to steer or work the pedals was certainly not able to do both in that state. he had to have carried her into the bushes because chances are she didn't even know they'd left wherever they were. good luck getting a statement from her too. sweet ride, though. and who wouldn't hop into a convertible with a drunk chick named lily? it's ohio fer goodness sakes.
Has Carl checked in with Sauerbeck's parents yet?
He should use the excuse I used that time on the grassy knoll... ...Oops, I've said too much.
Hail to Hail to the Victors. Well-crafted.
Mock all you want, 'spinners, but I for one will sleep better at night knowing this criminal mastermind has been apprehended.
The young lady's nickname is "Right Thing".
Don't laugh, drunken athletes on the streets of Cleveland are a big problem. Thome always drove a gigantic Hummer, imagine the people he could take out if he pulled a Lizzie Grubman.
Juancho is dead on. Cleveland athletes are always getting busted for DUI's. Ruben Droughens William Green Albert Belle (Actually, that was for chasing down kids, but you get the point.) Milton Bradley And those are just off the top of my head...
Meh, that's 4 athelets in a major metropolitan area. The Foxy Lady in Providence alone had two (Mo Vaughn, Rod Rutledge) incidents in a couple of years.
mo-hio, albert was drunk with rage. I'm a rageaholic...I'M ADDICTED TO RAGEAHOL!
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