Baseball, boston red sox, el guapo, rich garces

The Return Of El Guapo

The Nashua Pride minor league baseball team is renowned, like any great minor league team, for its desperate promotions to bring people to the ballpark. (Last year they signed Oil Can Boyd ... well, before he was hit with stalking charges.) Well, this year, they've come up with the best promotion yet: They're bringing back El Guapo!

Garces told The Nashua Telegraph on Tuesday that he's down to about 235 pounds, which is about 15 pounds lighter than his listed playing weight with the Red Sox, who released him in 2002 after he struggled with an ERA of 7.59 in 21 innings of work. He attempted a comeback in 2005 and signed a minor-league contract, but was released that October.

We're going to hope he's flat lying about the weight loss, because that will be no fun whatsoever. Garces says he felt — here we go — "disrespected" by former manager Grady Little when he left Boston and claims to be throwing 95-mph-plus these days. We hope he recognizes that the key to his employment is not his fastball, but his weight, and gets back down to business.

Hide The Women And Children, Nashua: El Guapo's Coming To Town! [One More Dying Quail]

11:45 AM on Wed Feb 21 2007
By Leitch
1,813 views
37 comments

Comments

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus at 11:52 AM on 02/21/07
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Connectedness Index: 434

If El Guapo came back to the majors it would be the happiest day of my life
Fios at 11:53 AM on 02/21/07
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He's MORE than famous, he's in-famous
Matt Sussman at 11:53 AM on 02/21/07
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Down to 235? No way will he beat Mothra.
Summer-of-George at 11:53 AM on 02/21/07
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If El Guapo hasn't recently shaved his head, and check in and out of rehab twice in one week I'm not interested.
Hustler of Culture at 11:54 AM on 02/21/07
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Man, I don't remember anyone disappearing as fast as he did....which is really impressive considering his size...
Trenton Makes The... at 11:54 AM on 02/21/07
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in case not everyone took as much spanish as i have el guapo is spanish for "the guapo"
Spectacular Sam at 11:55 AM on 02/21/07
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In a way, each of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be *the actual* El Guapo!
Jefferson DArcy at 11:55 AM on 02/21/07
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"Disrespected?"

You sure he's not audtioning to be one of Tom Brady's 5 Layers of Protection
hiphopnerd at 11:55 AM on 02/21/07
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And El Guapo goes right to the top of my fantasy baseball draft sheet...
goathair at 11:57 AM on 02/21/07
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This is pretty much the definition of bringing sexy back.
Tuffy at 11:57 AM on 02/21/07
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The Ponderosa in Nashua is printing up warning signs for its employees as we speak.

If they fail to barracade the restaurant doors in time and he gains 30 more pounds, I'm calling him Audrey III.
Mike Honcho at 11:58 AM on 02/21/07
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I guess he decided he needed a paycheck after he saw how the Charlie Weis gastro-bypass surgery trial was going.
Riddler at 11:59 AM on 02/21/07
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This is why I'm hot
Shorty see the drop
Ask me what I paid and I say yeah I paid a guap
And then I hit the switch that take away the top
So chicks around the way they call me cream of the crop

I'm hot cause I'm fly
You ain't cause you not
This is why, This is why, This is why I'm hot

(That should be this Guapo's stadium song.)
Riddler at 11:59 AM on 02/21/07
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"This Guapo"
"Gestapo"

Same difference.
twoeightnine at 11:59 AM on 02/21/07
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El Guapo kick your ass. El Guapo kick your face. El Guapo kick your balls into ouuter space!
Dread at 12:00 PM on 02/21/07
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Grady Little wasn't the only one showing disrespect. Tom Brady dumped him when he found out el Guapo was pregnant.
badbabu at 12:00 PM on 02/21/07
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El Guapo will be the hottest thing to come out of Nashua since Mandy Moore.
throwbot at 12:00 PM on 02/21/07
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After he saw how Dice K looked at Red Sox camp, El Guapo figured he had a shot.
Matt Sussman at 12:01 PM on 02/21/07
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7.59 is a plethora of ERA.
metroville at 12:02 PM on 02/21/07
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As a member of Red Sox Nation (even before, y'know, the Red Sox actually started selling membership cards that said that, 'cause they're short on cash), I always caught a lot of flack for not embracing El Guapo. While everyone else was cheering when he rumbled out of the bullpen, I was wincing as I calculated the (usually excellent) odds that he would give up a game-winning home run.

I never quite understood how being fat and having an ostensibly hilariously dichotomous nickname was supposed to add up to "good pitcher". 'Cause, uh...it didn't.
CDNMoose at 12:02 PM on 02/21/07
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Clearly, he got a plethora of disrespect from Grady.
Shorty at 12:03 PM on 02/21/07
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screw the pride, they left the atlantic league. Go Patriots! (Somerset, not New England)
Chief Illiniwek at 12:07 PM on 02/21/07
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Pacman Jones just fired his agent. THAT ought to keep him out of trouble. Meddling agent.
diddly at 12:08 PM on 02/21/07
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@metroville:

So, did you buy a card? Because that would kind of kill your credibility there.

[/yankee fan]
Oops Pow Surprise at 12:09 PM on 02/21/07
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So who's Nashua's pitching coach, the Invisible Swordsman?
Ron at 12:10 PM on 02/21/07
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Wow, between him and the Diceman, I have the body of a Greek God (Dionysus).
Footbaw at 12:12 PM on 02/21/07
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Will he wearing a sweater instead of a bullpen jacket?
rsr26 at 12:14 PM on 02/21/07
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@Suss--: Suss, what is a plethora?
Underpants Gnome at 12:14 PM on 02/21/07
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I take it i'm the only one who saw the headline, and immediatly thought it was another Norv! post?
Matt Sussman at 12:17 PM on 02/21/07
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Jeez, you don't have to @. I'm standing right here.
cameltrader at 01:17 PM on 02/21/07
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@Jefferson DArcy: Where was Brady's 5 layers of protection 3 months ago?
metroville at 01:33 PM on 02/21/07
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@Diddly:

Yes, I bought a card (as I have every year for the past three years)...but I did so ironically.

Ahem.
Hank Gathers Some Moss at 01:50 PM on 02/21/07
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@Oops Pow Surprise: Whoever bought Daddy Butch his last bump.
A Pimp Named DaveR at 03:47 PM on 02/21/07
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Unless I'm mistaken, it was the Brocton Rox who signed the Can, not Nashua....
A Pimp Named DaveR at 03:48 PM on 02/21/07
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*Brockton. Yes, I can read a map and spel.
$Image of I am Will\'s smirking revenge$ I am Will's smirking... at 05:15 PM on 02/21/07
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Jefferson DArcy said:
You sure he's not audtioning to be one of Tom Brady's 5 Layers of Protection

"I would've been happy if he'd used even one layer of protection."
- Bridget Moynahan
Robert Barone’s Dog at 06:43 PM on 02/21/07
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Pitch very old one! Pitch like the wind!