Deadspin
We know, online public opinion has shifted on the guy a bit, but we still like Bill Simmons' chats on ESPN. The guy's pretty quick — even if he's just falling back on the usual schtick, it's comfortable, reliable schtick — and, back before he signed his big ESPN Owns My Soul contract, he used to sneak items past the ESPN censors that they'd inevitably redact later on.
Well, today, Simmons is going for the chat "record" on ESPN, attempting to "break" Rob Neyer's mark of six hours and 37 minutes. That's right, folks; for the first time in years, Simmons might actually put in a real work day today.
Of course, the chat is for charity. And by "charity," we mean "for the Jimmy V Foundation." And by "for charity," we mean "there's a phone number slapped on ESPN stories this week," not "the site's giving ad revenue for the week to the Jimmy V Foundation." Because they're not doing that.
Anyway, the chat starts in 15 minutes; we suspect you could get a head start on the questioning right here.
Comments
I just threw up in my mouth. Good Times. Can I get a ruling on this?
Underground, AHOY!!!
I smell a DSHOF for this one.
ESPN2.com is hosting a chat with J-Bug, Hench and House.
Who's your favorite baseball team?
Bill, will you actually take a question pertaining to the fact that your wife is whooping your ass in NFL picks this year?
ESPN_Simmons: I like money.
CeltsFan1985: I like money too.
ESPN_Simmons: We should hang out.
Since there is no one white on the Celts, are you wearing your Wes Welker jersey, Bill?
Bill, how do you wear your Wes Walker jersey in public with all the semen stains on it?
@Max Power: Someone here is unfamiliar with Brian Scalabrine and Scot Pollard.
Fair enough.
@OhTheHugeManatee: That's blooming onion dip.
Does Neyer's record get an asterisk for being, you know, bullshit?
@BigRicks: Bill, will you actually take a question pertaining to the fact that your wife is whooping your ass again in NFL picks this year?
Fixed for added hilarity.
Bill,
Boston: Racist, or merely a misunderstood "anti-black"?
Featured comment on ESPN.com:
"Stop saying that A.J. Feeley was a better fantasy QB than Tom Brady."
- AKFortyKevin
So, Bill, does Kimmel's jism taste sweeter than Beli-cheat's? Who's bigger, Doc or Danny?
Bill, does your daughter put out?
please mention the Patriots "eff you TD" a few thousand times, i don't think i've heard that one
Will Rob Neyer try to sabotage his competitor? Because, you know, he's never done that before.
Bill:
Do you have any children? Because if you do, I never see you mentioning them in any of your columns....
Damn, someone should liveblog this CFD.
Charity just means helping other people donate their money. Duh.
So does one survive on bi-weekly paychecks?
I will now light myself on fire
Bill, I'm scheduling a trip with some good buddies to Hoover dam. One of the guys wants to spend a day in Vegas. What's up with that? What do I do?
Bill, you would make an excellent GM for any team in the NBA, or NFL or MLB for that matter. Everybody forgets this.
Bill, what do you think of the lesbian that looks like Brady Quinn on Shot at Love with Tila Tequila? Oh, you're only taking questions about The Hills. Fair enough.
@Lamppost: +1 for an Idiocracy reference (I think).
Bill, thanks for sticking to your "I'm not going to write about my kids unlike [i]some[/i] columnists" claim.
I'm all for a mass posting of the John Skipper ESPN Memo questions back to Simmons. Combined with a liveblogging, that might cause some kind of meta-interwebs implosion.
Bill...
Wilma...or Betty?
Jason...or Randy?
@Phony Gwynn: And +1 back to you for catching it.
Bill, why's the V Foundation logo in Carolina blue?
One Shining Moment joke? It's lame and such?
... I see.
@Botswana Meat Commission FC: YES!!!!!!
Hell, watching simmons try to answer anything harder than "Do the Pats rock this year?" may cause the ebays to 'splode.
Q: Why don't you guys donate actual money to the charity? Extra long chatting and providing a phone number is nice and all, but instead of ESPN shifting the donation burden to the public, maybe ESPN could step up and make a financial donation themselves.
"And by 'for charity,' we mean 'there's a phone number slapped on ESPN stories this week,' not 'the site's giving ad revenue for the week to the Jimmy V Foundation.' Because they're not doing that."
Yet one more reason why I have a man-crush on you, Leitch.
@Scout: hahahahahahahaha
Bill, I've read your column for years. I've always wondered where you're from. My buddy T-Carb says you're from Philly, I insist it's New York. Please clear this up!!
six hours and 37 minutes
I dont even work that long...but I'm a lazy grad student...
@blastitbiggs:
pitch that guy over the side of the dam, and take bets on how he dies. everybody wins.
Bill, why did you have only one soundbite during the entire I Love the 80s series? Was it your voice? Did they not cover any sports?
I honestly can't remember the last time I read anything of his.
Over/Under on "The Hills" references? I'm setting it @ 5 for now.
Kip Dynamite is not impressed with your chat endurance.
Bill, is your ESPN commenter name gatordmb89?
Bill, did the Pats' O-line learn "sweep the leg" move from Karate Kid?
Well, today, Simmons is going for the chat "record" on ESPN, attempting to "break" Rob Neyer's mark of six hours and 37 minutes.
And, tonight, Simmons is going for the "sex with the Sports Gal" record, attempt to "break" J-Bug's mark of six minutes 37 seconds.
One important note: We're doing this marathon chat to raise awareness for the Jimmy V Foundation. If you want to donate, click on this link - [www.jimmyv.org] - or call 1-800-4JIMMYV.
'Cause we sure as fuck aren't donating anything.
bill, how do you have a wife, house, and kids?
excellent - they have the questions in black font on a red background, so you can't actually read them.
Bill, what is worse: Reading your book, or cancer?
@BigTenObsession: I came to say the same thing - typical ESPN
fuckers not really chatting very much