Fuck, I have a sweet pair of Levi jorts.

Passed down from my father.

They are my going to Yankee stadium shorts.

*Interestingly, black men have escaped universal derision for wearing jorts. After deep contemplation I have two hypotheses for why this is: 1. Black men's dark legs look better in denim shorts than white men's pale legs; 2. White people are afraid to make fun of black people.

Nah ganna di'it.... Nah ganna di'it. Wouldn't be prudent... at this juncture....

First post: Jorts
LAst post: Ron Zook

Gator bookends.

Majerle and Barkley were my guys when it came to "NBA Jam."

Hooray for cool white dudes.

Stone Cold Steve Austin was poured into his jorts.

"until I started the Dixieland Delight Tour"

aka RJYH part II

I wrote a post a while back questioning Greg Oden's decision to wear jorts. I didn't realize it was "Ok" for black guys to wear them, but my commenters let me know.

Greg Oden, if you're reading, I'm sorry.

I'm not exaggerating when I say this, there is no single article of clothing that an SEC man could be accused of wearing that would make the accused wearer angrier or provoke more rage. Not one.

Will links to jorts post => Will hates jorts => Will hates the SEC => Will hates the South.

JORTS? I'd rather discuss JARTS, which were banned from sale in the United States by the Consumer Product Safety Commission on December 19, 1988.

That, and Bag O' Glass.

It is 105 degrees today.

Make fun of me. I'm wearing fucking jorts.

I always thought New Englander's had the market cornered on jorts wearers.......and racists.

@What would Kornheiser do?: Ha. Nice jorts dude.

@Upstate Underdog: I was ridiculed by a New Englander for wearing shorts. I learned him real good.

I think the fanbase that gets the biggest pass when it comes to jorts and mullets is clearly Ohio State.

What else would you wear when tipping over and burning cars?

@apostles03: I totally thought that's what the link was about when I first read it. Man, those things were awesome to huck at my cousins ...

[this is a thread....jack]
Pat Summit is filing for divorce, citing "irreconcilable differences."

And by "irreconcilable differences," she means he doesn't have a meat biscuit.

[/this is a thread....jack]

funny, I thought the biggest insult one SEC fanbase could make towards another would be something involving soap...

@Jen P: Apparently, people died at the hands of jart-wielding maniacs. Unbelievable, huh?

@Upstate Underdog: You're thinking of cargo shorts in New England. And racists.

Is there a fundamental difference in Jorts and Cutoffs, or is it just my opinion that Jorts-wearers are perverts and Cutoffs-wearers are "Iceheads."

Discuss.

@apostles03: Actually, it's pretty believable. My cousins and I were a vicious group of kids. I know that at least one Jart incident resulted in a hospital trip for a severe puncture wound. If only my family had been smart enough to sue back then ...

@Unregular: Well back in the day, early '90's while going to school in RI, jorts were in high fashion out there, and of course racism.

If you got hit with a jart would you shart your jorts?

@Jen P: my comment should have had a /sarcasm/ notation.

A kid who lived down the street from me had one graze his head, and the psychopath who lived in the house across the street from my family stole our set off our lawn so he would whip them at a raccoon he had pinned down in a shack behind his house.

So many things we should have sued for back then. Like CLICK-CLACKS, the exploding balls of glass!

@apostles03: I make my own Jarts in my secret basement workshop. And meth. I make that, too. Gimme a call.

I have jorts. I wear jorts. I like jorts.

@Upstate Underdog: of course. Rhode Island is in New England. Wickid racist here. We hate the blacks, browns, yellows... you name it.

Early 90's jorts were not taboo.

If you are wearing jorts today, you are deserved of ridicule.

Even the blacks. ESPECIALLY the blacks!

@CharlesBronsonPinchot: iceholes

/fixed

Please support my new charity, Jarts for Jorts. We're having a big benefit concert this Saturday, featuring Porno for Pyros, Five for Fighting, and Tears for Fears. (With a special screening of Flowers for Algernon for the kiddies.)

Also, since I'm from MA, we'll be keeping the darkies down.

YES!

To the girl on the second page of the story...

The jorts story...

The one wearing khakis...

Standing in the crowd at a football game...

Just trust me, she's hot.

We took our daughter to Disneyland a couple months ago, and there was a guy in line in front of us wearing jorts. I made up a quick song about jorts (actually more of a rap) and thought it would be a good idea to start singing it loudly in order to make my wife laugh. It went, "Jorts, jorts, they're everywhere. People walk around in them, and they just don't care." I didn't think the guy would actually know what jorts were, but I was wrong. He did not seem amused with my song.