Dyshod Carter, a former cornerback for the Cardinals and Browns, was one of five people arrested earlier this week for attempting to purchase seven kilos of cocaine from an undercover DEA agent at the low, low Phoenix price of $16,000 a key.

The suspects were arrested Tuesday while attempting to complete the transaction, according to Ramona Sanchez, a special agent with the DEA in Arizona. Officials also seized a fully loaded AK-47 and $104,000 cash in a search of the suspect vehicles.

A kilo of coke has a street value of $15,000 to $16,000 in the Phoenix area, but the price sharply increases as you head toward the east coast, away from the U.S.-Mexico border, Sanchez said.

Thanks newspapers! Without you, I wouldn't know the regional fluctuations in cocaine prices.

/buys plane ticket to Phoenix, live blogs cocaine deal

Now, I can record my kid's tee-ball games on a Sony handheld, and the resolution is so perfect you can count the boogers dripping from the shortstop's nose. I know Tennessee is a little backward (the state bird is a flying moonshine bottle), but you'd think a state school would own some decent video equipment. Maybe they shouldn't have hired Japanese horror director Hideo Nakata to edit the footage. "In this scene, Cromartie is haunted by the ghost of a quarterback he interecepted in a past life. The ghost can only be seen on game tape by a raven-haired martial arts vixen in a miniskirt who will be replaced with Katherine Heigl in the crappy American remake."

Once scouts found Rodgers-Cromartie, they knew they had something special. DRC is taller than most cornerbacks, and his long arms allow him to break up passes that other defenders don't reach. He has great quickness and can pluck an interception out of the sky. Tennessee State used him as an all-purpose cornerback-receiver-returner, and some scouts worried that he was just a bass in a minnow bucket who couldn't handle top competition. He allayed those concerns with an interception at the Senior Bowl and impressive off-season workouts.

As for the "Cromartie" thing: he is Antonio Cromartie's cousin. The last name isn't just a callous effort to get drafted. In other words, he's no Chad Henne -Montanaunitasofnazereth.

Winick said Shelton calmly walked in the salon, flashed his stained hands, said he needed help. And that he wanted to look like Johnny Depp. Shelton immediately threw down a $50 tip, she said. "He was telling me that he was a football player for the Arizona Cardinals and he's here painting boats," Winick said. "I thought, isn't it football season now? Some people just make up stuff, so I don't judge."

The guy was in the middle of his manicure when he was arrested by police ... 22 minutes after leaving the bank. WRITER'S EMBELLISHMENT: And as it turns out, half of the man's story was actually true. His real name? Neil Rackers.

First A Bank Robbery, Then A Manicure? [Herald-Tribune, via Fark]

How do we know? Well, he already has Super Bowl plans: He's hosting a party with John Travolta.

Vertical Sports will be staging two of the week's higher-profile fetes at Galleria Corporate Center in downtown Scottsdale. [John] Travolta and Cardinals quarterback Matt Leinart team up to host Saturday Night Spectacular, while [Carmen] Electra and other beauties will welcome guests at the fifth annual Leather & Laces party. Both are charity events.

Now, obviously, our Buzzsaw isn't going to make the Super Bowl this year. (But you never know!) But it might be nice to, you know, pretend. By the way, Robin Williams ... John Travolta ... Leinart sure is in hip with the young Hollywood elite, isn't he?

Matt Leinart's Party Buddy [Shakedown Sports]