•Between the NBA All-Star game and the Super Bowl, Dallas police are expecting six figures worth of prostitutes to flood the Metroplex. Thankfully, (tonyromo) the star athletes of the city (joshhamilton) would never (dirknowitzki) get involved with women of ill repute.

•Know the name Anze Kopitar yet? You probably should. The breakout Slovenian superstar led the Kings to a dominant victory over the Stanley Cup champions, announcing their legitimacy and teaching me that Slovenia is apparently a wholly separate country from Slovakia.

•Are the Cavs even a top three team in the east? They didn't look like it last night, falling to the Bulls. Tonight will be interesting, as they travel to New York where LeBron will see his future. (Whether that future is his team dominating opponents, or losing with the Knicks depends on your point of view.

•Baseball's hot stove league kicked off in earnest, with Jeremy Hermida going to Boston, Bobby Abreu staying in Anaheim, and Jason Bay and Matt Holliday making their intentions to blow town clear. For all those teams looking for a power bat in the outfield, let me remind you that Barry Bonds is still available.

•Here's a list of the top 10 sideline reporter bloopers. Your clear number one involves double penetration, and it's not even a Vikings sideline reporter!

•Pittsburgh safety Ryan Clark is unlikely to play Monday night in Denver, because of a rare sickle-cell trait that makes exertion in high altitudes dangerous. Should the Broncos win, expect dome teams to pump a little oxygen out of their stadiums when the Steelers come to town.

•Finally, I would be remiss in shirking my duty as a conduit for your Yankee hatred. Here's a collection of celebration videos, capped off by the most touching: a man and his crazy West Indian mother.

•At least one of the six umpires was actually paying attention, but bad calls wouldn't have made a difference anyway. Cliff Lee was nigh unhittable, and Philadelphia takes the opener.

•Had your fill of high-and-mighty Pennsylvanians yet? Sidney Crosby had a hat trick by the second intermission, and the Penguins have the best record in the east. But don't expect to hear about it from the fans; they can't hop on while their Steelers bandwagon is still moving.

•The Chiefs suspend Larry Johnson for two weeks, which is really just one game and the bye week. Normally teams are loathe to lose the production from their star, but I'm not sure they'll notice his 2.7 yards per carry when it's missing.

•Maybe it's foolish to panic after two games, but...maybe LeBron should start panicking after two games. His triple-double goes for naught as Toronto sends the Cavs to their first 0-2 start since his second season.

•Orlando Thomas: not dead! Which is good. He's still battling ALS though, which isn't good.

•The Buccaneers name first round pick Josh Freeman their starter, because what's the point of benching your talented young QB when you're not winning anyway? Apparently the Titans also have a young rookie they should be starting, one Vince Young. Haven't heard much about him.

•Finally, it's been making the rounds all day: the behind-the-back touchdown pass.

Club promoter Edward Givens filed a police report stating that he was given a black eye outside a Cleveland nightclub last night. The suspect's name was not given in the report, but Givens had no problem telling the Cleveland Plain Dealer that it was Edwards—and also that Givens' face was merely a proxy for Braylon's jealousy of mutual acquaintence LeBron.

Here's Givens' side of the story:

"After the club closed, I was outside greeting and saying goodbye to people. Braylon comes up and started saying things, degrading me. He said if it wasn't for LeBron or the Four Horsemen, I wouldn't have what I have, nor would I be able to get girls. Everyone knows Braylon has a problem with LeBron. So I had to speak up for myself. The conversation started to escalate. As some of his teammates started to pull him back, he punched me. I have a black eye and a cut. I'm not a violent guy.

"As long as I've known Braylon, I've allowed him and his friends to come into our events free of charge. Whatever jealousy he has with LeBron, he felt he needed to take it out on me."

Edwards—obviously amped up after his zero catch performance against the Bengals—then allegedly got involved in another disturbance that police had to break up, although it appears that he was not arrested for either incident. The whole story is a nice little capper to the Browns 0-4 start and Braylon's anti-LeBron violence can only further endear him to already swooning populace of northern Ohio. I believe that earlier in the evening he also sent a text to Bob Feller telling him to "get bent."

Cleveland man accuses Browns Braylon Edwards of assault [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

UPDATE: Lebron responds, calls Edwards "childish." [ESPN]

UPDATE 2: Braylon (maybe?) responds: "I have no issue with LeBron. I respect and admire him." [Twitter]

Update: Finally the important details:

West was actually carrying three guns: a Beretta 9mm in his waistband, a Ruger .357 strapped to his leg and a shotgun in a guitar case slung over his back, said Maj. Andy Ellis, a spokesman for the Prince George's County Police Department. ... Ellis said it was unclear where West was going and why he was armed.

I'm confused? So now he's playing in a band?

[Washington Post]

In the past, this was the kind of shot that happened against the Cavs. Jordan's jumper in 1989 over Craig Ehlo eliminated Cleveland from the playoffs- a punch-in-the-stomach moment burned into the psyche of every Cleveland fan.

Well, James is changing everything around here. [Tom Withers, AP Sports Writer]

It followed the arc of Carlton Fisk's home run in 1975, of Doug Flutie's Hail Mary in 1984, of Garfield Heard's turnaround jumper going up and Magic Johnson's baby hook hovering over the Big Three and Michael Jordan's last shot going down. It traced along the arc of those memories and by the end of its flight it had created a memory of its own. [Ian Thomsen - Sports Illustrated]

You have to understand; things like this don't happen for Cleveland. They happen to Cleveland. But what we Witnessed last night will go down as one of the greatest plays in the history of sports. And it's ours to savor forever....

No one should be carrying around the woebegone Cleveland sports fan mentality anymore. No one can ever, ever again say that LeBron James is not clutch. This one shot changed all of that....

Orlando, you just plucked yourself a nice, fat no leaf clover. I'd stay away from the train tracks in the future, if I were you. [Turkmenbashi, Fear The Sword]

It had to happen, and as shocking as it was, you could only be so surprised. But isn't that what makes LeBron so ridiculous? He's conditioned us to not only expect the impossible, but take it for granted. Step back, get some perspective on that, and try not to faint or laugh so hard they send you to an asylum. [Bethlehem Shoals, Sporting News' The Baseline]

The pain I felt for the Magic having nearly guaranteed a Finals appearance was tempered by the joy of a renewed basketball faith. That tiny Cavs fan expects LeBron to put up 50 a game, dunk every play, and win every night. With one second left on childhood's ticking clock that three pulled our little fan from the brink of reality. The make confirmed all was right with the world. The Tooth Fairy isn't your parents, the Easter Bunny does lay colored eggs and Santa doesn't drive a yellow '85 Honda Civic. ["karchcoon", commenter on same post]

The truth birth of LeBron James as heir to Michael Jordan's throne ... With the momentum of LeBron's shot and the greatest player in the world on their side, there is no question in my mind that they will get it done and move onto the Finals. [JRod, Midwest Sports Fans]

Which is where James' fast-twitch muscle fibers, perhaps some of the fastest fibers in human history, allowed him to change course and get a few inches of freedom as he headed toward the top of the key. [Brian Windhorst, Cleveland Plain Dealer]

The Bulls' Michael Jordan shook a double-team from Larry Nance and Ehlo to make an improbable shot at the buzzer. Everybody who is a Cleveland sports fan remembers where they were when it happened, like the Kennedy assassination or Sept. 11.

That's not to compare significant tragic events to a sporting event, but sports mean so much to so many people. "The Shot" has its own Wikipedia entry: No. 23 hitting an improbable jumper at the top of the key on Cleveland's home floor as the buzzer sounds in a playoff game. And James on Friday finally gave it another meaning, to the delight of a hard-luck franchise and a city that hasn't had a championship team since Jim Brown was running for the Browns in 1964. [Scott Kendrick, Florida Times-Union]

"He was born to do that. I would lie if I said I didn't expect that. I kind of expected that. That's what he does. He makes all kinds of shots in practice. ... I believed. I think all our fans believed, too." [Sasha Pavlovic, Cleveland Cavaliers guard]

But we should not miss the message from Friday night. We are seeing a legend under construction here. [Mike Lopresti, Gannett]

Was that the greatest shot he had ever seen?

Hank Egan paused.

"No," Egan told him. "It's tied for the greatest."

....He says LeBron James tied Sean Elliott only in dramatics. [Buck Harvey, San Antonio Express-News]

Something has certainly been missing from his resume and perhaps even his mindset, but this shot could be the turning point for James. He will now have the confidence of knowing that he can do it and should make him even more dangerous in late game situations from now on. James looks as if he is developing the ability the legends have of willing their teams to victory and not accepting failure in the process from themselves or anybody else....

Most importantly is the city. A city that has had no succes to speak of. A city that has long been plagued by anti-heroes and its teams' failures experienced somethind different. They can now go into the future knowing that nothing is impossible and that they will always have a chance to win with James on the team. They have finally had their faith rewarded and that by itself will change a city that for too long experienced only the feelings of failure. After that shot failure seems a distant prospect, because Cleveland fans know that James will do everything in his power to carry this team across the finish line with a championship the perfect ending. [Ashwin Ramnath, ButtaBall.com]

Remember those days when the Cavaliers weren't going to lose before the NBA Finals? It looked like Cleveland had finally gotten back on track — can you get back on track after one loss? — last night against Orlando in the first half, but then it just about blew the game when Hedo Turkoglu swished a 15-foot runner with 1.0 seconds left.

Ballgame, Magic. We're headed to Orlando!

All of the sad, young, LeBron-loving men were on the verge of tears until... well, you know.

And that slow motion, black-and-white video was only topped in melodrama by the lede from the AP game story:

Michael Jordan no longer has the most famous buzzer-beater in Cleveland sports history.

The Shot has been topped.

LeBron James made one better.

But yeah, it was pretty cool. Amazing, even. And now we have a series.

LeBron James 3-pointer For The Win [Sad Fans]
James' dramatic buzzer-beater drops Magic [ESPN]

*****

Good Saturday morning. Big sports day today: NBA and NHL playoffs, MLB interleagues, Duke Lacrosse! Yeah, the intern's got the keys to this place today, and I'm taking it for a joyride. Buckle up for some hoodrat things. Here's to hoping nothing breaks.

The Cavaliers had been sitting for eight days after sweeping the first two rounds, but that didn't seem to matter when they rolled out to a 15-point lead in the first half. Then the second half happened, and somehow when the final buzzer sounded LeBron and company were not ahead on the scoreboard. What the....?

Well, for starters, Rashard Lewis made his three pointers and then Dwight Howard started breaking things, while everyone else on the home team not named James did not. LeBron had 49, which sounds really good, but down one with 10 seconds to go, he gave up the ball and didn't get it back. Then he limped off the court, defeated, and that's why he's not Michael Jordan yet. Cleveland only lost two games at home all year, but now the home court advantage belongs the Magic and everyone should panic right now! They might actually have to do some work to win this thing.

Cavaliers finally face test and come up short [NBA]
Dwight Howard Dunks and Pulls Down the Shot Clock [The Hoop Doctors]

Cleveland sent a message—even though they don't send messages—by destroying the Celtics in an (almost) completely meaningless regular season clock burner. Boston, playing without Kevin Garnett, will still finish second in the East and still won't have home-court advantage if and when they run into the Cavs in the playoffs. But depending on your interpretation of the 31-point blowout, the defending champs have been humbled by this passing of the torch ... or for the first time all season they have been given a reason to give a crap.

When the Cavs reserves pushed the lead to 30, James, Mo Williams and Delonte West boogied together during a timeout as Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" pumped through the arena. The trio wasn't shy about things as they mugged for TV cameras to the roaring crowd's delight.

At the other end of the floor, the Celtics sat stoically while watching the Cavs' clown around.

"I'm always going to remember that," Ray Allen said. "If I beat a team, as happy as I may be in victory, I'm always going to stay humble and always remember that there's another day. We play each other too much. Those are great motivational thoughts for me."

Allen was also thrown to the floor by Anderson Varejao earlier in the game and responded with a timely elbow to the groin, so you know at least one Celtic is pissed off. LeBron James tried to defuse the situation—even though he was clearly talking trash the whole game—by saying his team wasn't trying to send a message because they already know they're awesome and the NBA is all about respect.

"We're not trying to disrespect any team or show up any team," he said. "We're all professionals. If you take it as disrespectful, then you got to do something about it."

Right. Because nothing says "professional" like backhanded insults and dancing to Rick Astley.

Cavaliers clobber Celtics 107-76 [AP]
Cavaliers ace a late-season test, while frustrated Celtics just get testy after 107-76 blowout [Cleveland Plain Dealer]
Celtics beaten but not bowed [Boston Globe]
Ray Allen's Elbow To The Varejaos [You Tube]

(*Yes, Pearl Harbor was on cable this weekend. Why do you ask?)

The NBA politely reminded the Miami Heat last weekend that these disgusting displays of personal expression are not allowed on their courts, and while that may seem like a case of fussy old white men taking all the fun out of pro basketball, this was actually a necessary corrective meant to restore competitive balance.

Wade was named February's Eastern Conference Player of the Month after being "aided," no doubt, by his fancy adhesive bandages. Yes, he's scored 87 points in his last two games without the performance enhancing strips, but his 41 last night against Cleveland still left him one point shy of opponent LeBron James—and the Heat lost to the Cavs.

Obviously wearing a custom Band-Aid on your face is good for one free throw a night. And no matter how many fans get excited about the craze or start buying the bandages for charity, that's just too much of an edge for Wade. Problem solved!

Cleveland vs. Miami Highlights [NBA.com]
NBA bans Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade's stylish Band-Aids [Miami Herald]
NBA Cracks Down on Personalized Band-Aids just in Time [The Sports Union]

Actually, that's only half-right. Cleveland inexplicably found itself trailing lowly Indiana with 0.8 seconds left in their game last night, when the Cavaliers decided to try an alleyoop inbounds play to LeBron. Danny Granger had the balls to try and intercept the pass and appeared to get between James and the ball and deflect it with minimal contact, but he was called for a foul. James sank both free throws to tie the game with 0.4 on the clock.

Well, Indiana decided to call the referees' bluff. The Pacers tried the exact same thing on their inbounds play, with LeBron guarding Granger. James deflected the ball, there was minimal contact ... and amazingly they called a foul on him with 0.1 seconds to go. Granger made one of two. Pacers win.

But at least Cleveland coach Mike Brown kept things in perspective.

"That last call, on the run, is the worst call that I have ever been a part of," Brown said. "I cannot imagine another worse call than that. It was an awful call and for him to take away a basketball game from a team with .4 seconds on the clock is irresponsible...

"I don't care if I get fined. It is what it is. I saw the two plays; just a bad call determined the outcome of that game. If they want to fine me for telling the truth, fine me. This isn't me. I never do this....

"It was predetermined from the call that was made at the other end of the floor, and it is very unfortunate," Brown said. "We got the game taken away from us. Absolutely horrible."

I also saw the two plays—they were exactly the same. Yet, LeBron was equally perplexed:

"The last call against me was not questionable at all," James contended. "No contact was made. The pass was short. You couldn't go to the rim. I was able to get a hand on it."

Oh, yeah? These 23 citizen journalist YouTube videos taken from the 15th row say different.

James' late foul costs Cavs in loss to Pacers
Cavs-Pacers Finish [NBA.com]

That's right—the charming backyard game that fans have been clamoring for years to finally liven up the tired All-Star festivities has been corrupted before it even happens. Not that anyone should be the least bit surprised, but are they seriously going to make NBA players try and spell Geico on live TV? That should really be its own challenge, right? Will one of the insurance company's Cavemen get a bye into the finals?

In other dribbling news, San Antonio is playing Boston today, but no one cares, because LeBron James and Kobe Bryant will fight for the the MVP Award and the NBA title later. After their dual beatdown of the Knicks this week—a quality challenge for both, of course—they decided to face each other to settle this properly. They are just going to give it to the winner and spare us five months of playoffs, right? That would free up a lot of time for everyone.

So basketball fans can discuss their favorite sport here and if it gets more comments than the NHL post, their sport wins.

NBA Players To Play 'G-E-I-C-O' Not 'H-O-R-S-E' [Sporting News]

The New York Knicks were pretty excited about this "Dream Week." Sitting just on the cusp of the eighth playoff spot and winning six of their last seven, they had three home games in five days against the three best teams in basketball—the Lakers, the Cavaliers, and the Celtics. So far they are oh-for-two with two ridiculous star performances too boot. And it's even worse because it happened at MADISON SQUARE GARDEN, which makes it more significant because there was a circus there once.

It's also another chapter in the current "can you top this?" battle between Kobe and LeBron. Knicks coach Mike D'Antoni even seemed to believe that LeBron went for it on purpose, because scoring 62 would have been too simple or something. (It was the first triple-double since 1975 to also include 50 points.) And the Knicks still could have won! But they didn't. Because they are terrible.

But at least Knicks fans cheered for the Knicks this time! Except for Spike Lee. He wouldn't do that to a friend.

King James wears different crown [NY Daily News]
D'ANTONI CREW CAN'T OVERCOME TRIPLE-DOUBLE [NY Post]

"Officially," Bryant injured his hand swatting at the basketball in the opening minutes, but that's just him being humble. The trainer popped it back in the place and he went back out to put up 20 points and 12 assists as the Lakers rolled, 105-88. LeBron had 23 and nine rebounds, but is probably questioning his strategy of pulling four physical therapy patients out of a nearby hospital to be his teammates. Orlando now has the percentage points lead in the Eastern Conference and the Cavs probably have some work to do. [AP]

The rest of the NBA was a little more competitive with several Alcoa Fantastic Finishes:

New Orleans 103, Indiana 100: Danny Granger (30 points) hit a clutch three-pointer to tie the game, but foolishly left 2.5 seconds on the clock—just enough time for Chris Paul to drain a fall away from the parking lot and give the Hornets a buzzer-beating win. New Orleans also lost both centers when Tyson Chandler rolled his ankle and his replacement Hilton Armstong tweaked his knee. Eh, who needs big men?

Dallas 95, Philadelphia 93: Dirk Nowitzki missed 13 of his first 14 shots, but pulled a Christian Laettner, swishing a turnaround jumper to beat Philly at the horn. “I’m a shooter,” Nowitzki said. “I always think the next one is going in.” I believe those were Lee Harvey Oswald's final words.

San Antonio 86, Charlotte 84: Raymond Felton hit a game-winning shot with 2 seconds left... I'm sorry, Tim Duncan swatted that game-winner away and a desperation three by Boris Diaw bounced harmlessly off the rim. Way to ruin the theme, guys.

Houston 115, Denver 113: Denver had a potential game-winning bucket called off on a charging call, and Kenyon Martin blew a second chance to tie the game for the Nuggets when he missed two foul shots with 2.6 seconds left. Yao Ming had 31 points, none of which were scored at the buzzer.

Monday Game Highlights [NBA.com]

The contest also features the current MVP vs. the guy who is currently the MVP. I know the Horse said Kobe deserves his second trophy in a row, but if the Cavaliers win their first division title in 13 years and the big guy continues to crab dribble all over the Eastern Conference, you gotta think that LeBron is the favorite for this year's award. But tonight we find out "who is really the best," because nothing would prove that better than a non-conference game in January.

The Cavs are undefeated at home, but 11-7 on the road, but have won five in a row against L.A., but the Ravens lost last night and they also wear purple so that must mean something. But the scoring ... oh, the scoring. Pray for an "anything you can do, I can do better" showdown, and set your alarm (game starts at 10:30 ET), so you don't miss the inauguration tomorrow.

Kobe Bryant says LeBron James is the MVP . . . at this point [LA Times]
Cleveland at LA Preview [AP]

James dumped in 38 points and owned Paul Pierce all night as the Cavs, donning what seems like their 45th home jersey of the season, pounded the Celtics 98-83. Celtics coach Doc Rivers is concerned, but still hopeful: "We have some money in the bank with the 19-game winning streak. We're making a withdrawal we don't want to make right now, but we're still 29-9. This is a tough stretch. I don't like it. But we're going to right the ship. When? I don't know." [LAT/AP]

• Dwight Howard, I Believe Your Magic Is Real: Nobody wants to admit that there's another team in the East that has a shot at this thing. Has to be the gaudy uniforms or the whole magician thing. One person who's not sleeping on the Magic? The Sporting Blog's Tom Ziller who thinks they can actually get better: "Dwight Howard's offense still needs work; instead of scaring Magic fans, that should scare Boston. Orlando's defense is only half-a-point per 100 possessions worse than Boston's, and the offensive output has been virtually identical. But Hedo Turkoglu hasn't been near his best, good fit Mickael Pietrus has been injured, and — again — Howard is still figuring things out. Boston will be better than they are know by March, without question. But Orlando can still improve too. This isn't a one-team conference like last year, or a two-team conference like last month. Orlando's real, and third-place Boston is finding that out now." [Sporting Blog]

• A.I.'s Mile High reunion: Allen Iverson returned to Denver last night to show George Karl that it is possible to win games if he just keeps shooting. Iverson led the Pistons with 23 points. His partner in trade, Chauncey Billups led the Nuggets with 30. Pistons prevail, 93-90. [Denver Post]

• The Sixers may have finally found a life raft to get them off of Suck Island: The identity-less, Elton Brand-less, and immature Sixers managed to shake their inconsistency for one full quarter last night, which was enough to defeat the Charlotte Bobcats. Maybe the Bobcats were distracted by the rumored legal troubles of their assistant coach? Tipster says so: "Heard that former NBA player and current Charlotte Bobcats assistant coach, LaSalle Thompson, has a warrant for his arrest for failure to pay child support. Supposedly he owes close to $100k to his baby mama. The team president and Larry Brown supposedly both know about the warrant but have been ignoring it. I heard from a friend who works for the Bobcats. I think the warrant is out of Indianapolis or Chicago? Do some fact checking and you could uncover a nice little NBA gem." Yeah, who's got time to fact-check? [Philly.com]

• Oh, that makes perfect sense: Greg Oden is Benjamin Button. [SKEETS]

After heading into their Christmas Day tilt against the Los Angeles Lakers on a 19-game winning streak, Boston has since lost four of their last six and their lead in the Atlantic Division has been sliced to a microscopic 12.5 games. Things are so desperate right now, the team is even considering adding retired point guard and celebrated clubhouse cancer Stephon Marbury to the roster. I'm sure that will help immensely.

Fortunately for them, the equally struggling Cleveland Cavaliers have been unable to take advantage of their Eastern rival's untimely demise. They lost to the Freakin' Wizards last night after officials chose to enforce an obscure league rule known as "travel-ing" to deny LeBron James his natural birthright. Like the ban on the "slam dunk," this bizarre regulation was once used to keep more athletic players from gaining an unfair advantage, but was abandoned 25 years ago when in-court trampolines were also outlawed.

In other news, the Knicks are still six games under .500, but only 1.5 out of the final playoff spot leaving sports writers everywhere in a lurch, as they try to determine if the team can still be used as the go-to punchline in an ongoing national joke.

Celtics get kicked around [Boston Globe]
Boston’s Big Three: Talking Themselves Into This Marbury Thing [Slam]
Cavs-Wizards Highlights [NBA.com]

On that yuletide day, Nike will unveil a new "chalk" version of the Zoom LeBron VI shoes, which features a silhouette of Mr. James preforming his signature chalk tossing move that he stole from Michael Jordan does in the tradition of former NBA greats. To help celebrate the occasion, all 20,000 Cavs fans in attendance will also receive a bag of chalk that they will be encouraged to throw in the air at same time James does. What?! How can that possibly be a good idea? Will they also provide free admission for asthma sufferers?

Nike Zoom LeBron VI “Chalk?” [Waiting For Next Year]
Cavaliers Insider: Another Nike/LeBron shoe? It's pure 'chalk' [Plain Dealer]

*******************

Anyway, if you aren't planning on sleeping in an airport tonight, don't forget the Boise State/TCU donnybrook in the Poinsettia Bowl later. Then come back tomorrow for a half day of nog-fueled Christmas Eve nonsense.

And thank you for your continuing support of this Web page that publishes my words.

There's a slew of big free agent names (none bigger than LeBron James) that threaten to completely change the League landscape in a couple of years.

Speaking of James, he finally decided to throw Cavs fans a bone yesterday, hinting at the possibility that might not only stay in town for a few more years, but also sign his contract extension well before 2010.

James said Saturday that he is going to consider signing an extension with the Cavaliers this summer, well before he can become an unrestricted free agent.

"You play out this season of course; I will consider it," James said Saturday before the Cavs practiced at the Pepsi Center. "The direction we are headed is everything I expected and more."

Of course, the above means nothing at all - James didn't explicitly say he was going to sign the extension this summer; it is merely a possibility. But it's enough, for now.

It's also a lot better for the mental sanity of folks living in Ohio, than when their most iconic sports star gleefully tells the media how much he loves Gotham whenever he's asked about it.

LeBron James tells The PD's Brian Windhorst he'll consider signing extension with Cavs this summer [The Plain Dealer]

• Down goes Cleveland.The Atlanta Hawks, led by Mike Bibby's 24 points, defeated the Cleveland Cavaliers 97-92 despite 33-9-6 from LeBron James. Atlanta had the benefit of a balanced scoring attack, with all five starters contributing at least 12 points to snap Cleveland's 11 game winning streak. The win provides some great momentum for the Hawks who will play host to their nouveau rivals from Boston, a game that will feature a halftime performance by Ludacris (and hopefully the A-Town Dancers). That might just be enough to guarantee another sellout in A-Town.

• Holy shit, that's Jerome James! Six Knicks finished the night with double figures in the scoring column in a win over the Kings, but none of them were named Jerome James. But hey, the big fella finally saw some court time this season and managed to eek out two points and two rebounds in four glorious minutes. As for the actual contributors, Al Harrington led all scorers with 33 points while David Lee was huge with 17 points and 19 rebounds. John Salmons led Sacto with a paltry 14 in a game that was never close. The Knicks put up a ridiculous 41 point first quarter, and there was no looking back.

• They needed that one. In their first game without Mo Cheeks at the helm the 76ers were able to pick up a rare home victory, albeit over my woeful Wizards. It was the first win for front office employee-turned coach Tony DiLeo thanks in part to Elton Brand's dominating performance. The free agent acquisition scored a season-high 27 points (12-19 from the field) to go along with nine rebounds. Nobody stepped up for the Wizards, although Mike James (16 points) did see his first extended action since he was acquired in last week's three-team trade. Nick Young and Javale McGee combined to play fewer than ten minutes because Ed Tapscott clearly hates me.

When last we saw them: Finished 45-37, second in the Central Division and fourth overall in the East. They pushed the eventual NBA champion Boston Celtics to seven games and were one Paul Pierce scoring explosion from advancing to the Conference Finals.

Key Arrivals: Mo Williams, Lorenzen Wright, JJ Hickson, Darnell Jackson

Key Departures: Damon "I'm the best shooter in the world" Jones, Joe "Signing that secret contract with Minnesota sure torpedoed my career" Smith, Dwyane "The Other" Jones

The Good: LeBron James is the mightiest mortal on the face of the Earth. Danny Ferry traded for Mo Williams, the latest in a series of potential Aqualads to LeBron's Aquaman, to help the team's anemic offense. (Seriously, I've read that Mo averaged 17.2 PPG for the Bucks last season so many times that it's permanently burned into my retinas.) The Cavs were one of the best defensive ball clubs in the league last year, and they should be again this season (despite the Williams acquisition). They're a strong rebounding team; in 2007-08, they led the league in rebounding differential (+4.15). Wally Szczerbiak's $13 million contact expires after this season, which makes him excellent trade bait. They replaced the real Ben Wallace with an Inflatable Defender. (Not really, but it would probably help.)

The Bad: The reason the Cavaliers are so freaking excited about Williams' 17.2 PPG average is because the team's offense under Mike Brown has been historically anemic, consisting of roughly two plays: 1) Have everybody spot up and watch LeBron drive, and 2) have everybody spot up while LeBron dribbles around the arc to set up for one of his trademark clunky threes. But Mo is a shoot-first guard who needs lots of touches to make things happen, which sort of makes him Larry Hughes 2.0 (although he's a better percentage three-point shooter than Larry was). Oh, and he's not exactly sturdy: Mo has missed a total of 54 games over the last three seasons for various reasons. Two of their critical frontcourt players (Ben Wallace and Anderson Varejao) couldn't score on a Jordan Jammer. Wallace is gradually transforming into a slow-moving paste.

Fun Facts: The EA NBA Live 09 simulated season predicts that the Cavs will finish 41-41 (fifth in the East) and lose to the Miami Heat in the Eastern Conference Semifinals. The Cavaliers have seven retired numbers (Bingo Smith, Larry Nance, Mark Price, Austin Carr, Nate Thurmond, and Brad Daugherty)...same as the Lakers. Danny Ferry holds the franchise record for games played (723). Last season, Mo Williams suffered from pubic symphysis, which is basically an ouchie in the man region

Videotastic extra: All that basketball talent and he can sing too?! Life so isn't fair.

$50 million just so happens to be about $30 million more than any NBA team can pay under the salary cap. That sound you just heard is the NBA brass trying to figure out if they need some sort of superstar carve out in the salary cap structure. Either that or getting a capless division set up in Europe. But surely, LeBron's just bluffing, right?

Maybe. But according to ESPN.com, there have already been contacts between LeBron and at least two European teams.

The Russian team CSKA Moscow and the Greek team Olympiacos, which recently gave Josh Childress a contract approaching $30 million over three years, have already contacted James, according to the person close to him. The person added, however, that no monetary or contractual discussions have taken place.

LeBron's contract doesn't run out until 2009-2010, and up until now there's been mostly speculation about which American city he'll leave Cleveland for. But LeBron considers himself a global icon and nothing would increase the Q-rating better than going overseas, making more money, and then coming back to America. He's got time on his side. LeBron won't even be 30 until December 30, 2014. And with the way the dollar is plummeting against the Euro, by 2010, $50 million may be well within reach.

Source: LeBron would consider European offer of $50M a year or more [ESPN.com]

Oh, I thought we were wildly speculating here. Everybody else is doing it these days after James was at a USA Basketball, um, thing and said New York was his favoritest city ever, followed by Washington, Dallas, LA, and his hometown of Akron. No Cleveland in there whatsoever.

So certainly this means that once the Cavaliers muddle through a couple more early playoff exits, their superstar will take an aerial view of Cleveland, furrow his brow, and say "I've been playing here? Danny Ferry told me this was Brooklyn!"

But hold on, says the Plain Dealer's Terry Pluto. Nobody can possibly figure out what will happen two completed seasons from now. There's a hint of controlled reason in his words, but ... look at the Photoshop! It shows he's clearly playing for the New York Pants. Argue that, Mr. Newspaper Man.

Losing LeBron [Yahoo! Sports]
LeBron James' departure in 2010 nothing but speculation [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

Larry Paul versus Dominique LeBron. Look, I'm not even going to pretend to be unmoved here. Fans of the Boston Celtics and Cleveland Cavaliers had to endure one of the ugliest series in NBA history for six brutal games, but you know what? The final game made it all worthwhile. (Okay, mostly worthwhile.) As Game 7 showdowns go, this one ranks right up there with Larry Bird versus Dominique Wilkins in the 1988 Eastern Conference Semifinals, right down to a Celtic superstar with a wispy, porn star mustache and an opposing superstar who went down with his head held high.

LeBron (45 points, 14-for-29, 5 rebounds, 6 assists, 2 steals) bared his basketball soul for the world to see, but in the end — and you knew this was coming, right? — he and his team just couldn't handle The Truth. And like Shaquille O'Neal once said: "Paul Pierce is the motherfucking truth. Quote me on that and don't take nothing out."

Pierce finished with 41 points (13-for-23), 4 rebounds, 5 assists and 2 steals. He hit big shot after big shot. He guarded — and was guarded by — LeBron for most of the game. He, like LeBron, took a lot of uncalled contact but stayed aggressive and never quit. He dove for a loose ball and quickly called timeout to preserve a Boston possession in the fourth quarter. And he hit two free throws with 7.9 seconds left — the first of which hit the back rim, went straight up, and fell right down into the basket — to secure the game, which ended thusly: Boston 97, Cleveland 92.

Said Pierce: "The ghost of Red (Auerbach) just looking over us. I think he kind of tapped (the free throw) in the right direction. It sort of put a smile on my face." And 18,624 other faces as well.

While this duel might have lacked the you-hit-then-I-hit-then-you-hit quality of the Larry and 'Nique show, it was still an impossibly dramatic gunfight between two amazing players on as big a public stage as you can ask for. As LeBron put it: "We both tried to will our team to victory and, just like Dominique Wilkins, I ended up on the short end and the Celtics won again. I think the second round of the postseason, Game 7, these fans will finally have an opportunity to forget a little bit about Larry Bird and Dominique Wilkins did and remember what Paul and LeBron did."

Or, better yet, they'll get to remember both. And be a lot better for it.

OK. I'm done Bill Waltonizing now. Other than LeBron, the only other Cavalier who showed up to play was Delonte West (15 points, 5 assists). Guys like Zydrunas Ilgauskas (8 points, 2-for-8), Ben Wallace (3 points, 4 rebounds), Sasha Pavlovic (7 points, 3-for-8) and especially Wally Szczerbiak (zero points, 0-for-3, 4 fouls in 15 minutes) just stood around looking dumbstruck.

On the other end of the ball, Paul Pierce didn't get tons of backup, but he got a little more than LeBron. Kevin Garnett had 13 points and 13 rebounds, P.J. Brown had 10 points and 6 boards (not to mention a critical jumper and an even more critical offensive rebound/putback in the fourth quarter), and Eddie House came off the bench in the first half to jumpstart the Celtics out of a dangerously lethargic stretch.

One last note: Sometime during the game, Mark Jackson stated flatly that Paul Pierce had already earned the right to have his number retired and hung up in the rafters alongside Russell's, Cousy's, Havlicek's, Jones', Cowens' and Bird's. At the time, I thought he was vastly overstating things. Now? Not so much.

The Celtics will now move on to face the Pistons in the Eastern Conference Finals. Game 1 is in Boston on Tuesday.

If you'll hark back with us to January 2006, we'll re-introduce you to an incident involving LeBron's mother, a DUI and a shocking amount of mace. Mama James was pulled over for erratic driving, and once "in custody," she wasn't exactly calm.

• She was "driving in an erratic manner, weaving in and out of traffic at a high rate of speed."
• When they first tried to put handcuffs on her, she wrang herself free before she was sedated again.
• Once in the car, she kicked out the side window of the backseat.
• The police, exhausted with dealing with her, eventually sprayed her with mace.

So, you know, LeBron's probably getting a little used to dealing with his mom by now. To remind, by the way: LeBron James' mother is the same age as Bill Simmons, Roy Jones Jr., Sam Cassell and Jennifer Aniston.

The Indestructible Mother Of LeBron James [Deadspin]

Welcome To Cleveland's Roadkill Cafe. Swarming defense, a brutal posterization of the Defensive Player of the Year, a superstar potty mouth, and LeBron's momma ... these were all part of an 88-77 Cavaliers win that had Doc Rivers and his Celtics clicking their ruby slippers together and chanting "There's no place like TD Banknorth Garden...there's no place like TD Banknorth Garden..."

Despite the fact that the Green and White built their reputation on a best-in-the-league defense, Cleveland did most of the shutting downing last night, holding the Celtics to 38 percent shooting and only 12 points in the fourth quarter. And while Boston's not-so-big-anymore three were getting blanked in that final stanza, King James (21 points, 6 rebounds, 13 assists) put his royal boot up the leprechaun's butt, dishing four dimes, hitting the first of two game-breaking threes (Boobie Gibson hit the other one), and dropping an exclamation mark jam on KG that led an Associated Press writer to observe "The Cavaliers were awed by James' stuff." Which I'm sure is totally true, but probably a little TMI.

Of course, many people will remember this contest as the game that LeBron's mom, Gloria James, got all up in Paul Pierce's face after Truth put a bear hug on the King to prevent a second-quarter dunk. But LeBron defused a potentially disruptive situation by calmly explaining that her behavior was inappropriate and politely asking her to return to her seat at the earliest possible convenience. Or something like that.

Said LeBron: "I told her to sit down, in some language that I shouldn't have used. Thank God today wasn't Mother's Day. All I could think about is her. I know my mother, we're good." Suuuuure, LeBron. Whatever you say. (But ask yourself this: Would your mom be okay with you telling her to sit her ass down? Yeah. Didn't think so.)

LeBron hit only 7-for-20 from the field but actually improved his series shooting average to 26 percent. But his Dick Cheney-like marksmanship weren't no thang, partly because he dished 'em and hit 'em when they mattered most, and partly because he got some actual, honest-to-goodness help from Gibson (14 points, 4 assists, and a fourth-quarter dagger), Wally Szczerbiak (14 points, 6-for-11), and Sideshow Bob (12 points, 6 rebounds).

Meanwhile, the Celtics' performances — such as they were — came with asterisks. KG led his team with 15 points and 10 rebounds, but he scored only 2 points in the second half and zero points in the fourth. Ray Allen had 15 points too, but he shot only 4-for-10 and couldn't get open down the stretch. Pierce scored half of his team's 12 fourth-quarter points, but he finished with 13 on 17 shots. Oh, and Boston's bench got outscored 36-17.

Game 5 is Wednesday.

At the University Heights Papa John's, police said a few people tried to jump the line, but they were pulled out and those in line started cheering. A Newsnet5.com viewer e-mailed and said a fight broke out at the Springfield Township location on Waterloo Road in Summit County. Springfield police said a verbal altercation took place between two people in line. No one was hurt and no arrests were made, police said.

There was one serious casualty, as Papa John's mascot Mr. Slice was found in a Toledo alley early this morning severely beaten and stripped of his toppings.

The promotion was hatched, of course, after a Papa John's franchise in Washington, D.C., made T-shirts calling LeBron James a "crybaby" after James' complaints about hard fouls during the Cavaliers' playoff series with the Wizards. To counter the bad publicity, the company offered 23-cent large, one-topping pizzas at their Cleveland, Columbus, Toledo and Youngstown outlets. The company will also donate $10,000 to the Cavaliers Youth Fund.

Papa John's first idea was to discount the pizzas according to LeBron's playoff shooting percentage, but that would have hardly even been worth the trouble.

Papa John's Running Out Of Pizza; Promotion May End By Dinnertime [Cleveland Plain Dealer]
Papa John's Stores Will Close Early If Supplies Run Out [Newsnet 5]

The poor server who had the unfortunate experience of waiting on LeBron at Cleveland's XO Prime Steaks during a recent late night pop-in probably had this thought. According to the Cleveland Scene, this is how it all went down:

LeBron pulls up in his Mercedes outside XO. People stop and try not to stare, but c'mon, it's LeBron James. He enters the restaurant with a group of friends. On this special occasion, the King decides to dine late. He keeps his group there until around 3:45 a.m. During this time the waiter obsequiously pours drinks and fetches anything else His Greatness needs.

The final bill comes to $800. By the feudal laws of decorum, which stipulate that the affluent should administer a 20 percent gratuity, staffers figured they'd be pocketing an extra $160. But when they fetched the autographed bill after His Heinousness bolted back to Akron, their expectation turned to disbelief, then anger.

LeBron stiffed them with a meager $10 tip. This is what French nobles like to call your requisite Bourgeois Bitch-Slap. The waiter wouldn't even take it, tired of being shat on by guys like LeBron.

It'd probably be in James' best interest to now hire an official food taster if he plans on dining at anymore Cleveland restaurants in the near future.

When it comes to tipping, LeBron goes Scrooge McDuck [Cleveland Scene]

Well, that was sure...entertaining. Did you enjoy the 1994 NBA Finals? Do you miss those halcyon days of the Knicks-Heat rivalry? Has watching the Spurs slowly and methodically grind their opponents into paste over the last 10 years been the highlight of your existence? Then Game 1 of the Cavaliers-Celtics series was for you! And you are a freak. Please stay away from me and my column. I'm kidding. Keep reading. I get bonuses for page views.

This is how Kevin Garnett (28 points, 8 rebounds) described last night's crap-a-palooza, which Boston won 76-72: "This was two heavyweights, just body-punching. There was no finesse, no jabs, just an all-out, beat-down, defensive fight." He's sort of right, assuming those "heavyweights" were two mildly retarded paraplegics drowning in their own spittle while having an epileptic seizure. Oh, and while on fire, too.

Look, there's no way to sugarcoat this: The game was ugly. An abomination. An affront to the memory of Dr. James Naismith and all he stood for. Or, as Bill Walton might say, it was terrrrrrrrible...an embarrassment to the sport of basketball. If the NBA is a pimp, then this game would be its black-eyed bitch. Have I gone too far? Or have I not gone far enough? I'll let you decide.

LeBron James — who came in a very distant fourth in MVP voting — saved his absolute worst for last night. The King played like the bastard prince of some lowly province or whatever the hell princes rule these days. He scored 12 points on 2-for-18 shooting. He committed 10 turnovers and was a single assist or rebound away from achieving the infamous triple bumble. He played so poorly that I honestly started wondering whether a Lucky the Leprechaun had drugged him before the game. Seriously, do we know what he had for lunch and where it came from? Somebody look into it. (Maybe he got some of Tim Duncan's Gatorade?)

He wasn't alone in the suckfest, though. Teammate Delonte West was 2-for-10 and Wally Szczerbiak was 5-for-14 as the Cavaliers shot a Mr. Freeze-like 30 percent from the field. And the awful wasn't limited to Cleveland, either. Ray Allen scored zero points on 0-for-4 shooting and committed 4 turnovers in 37 minutes of lack-tion. Paul Pierce shot 2-for-14 and had 6 turnovers. Big Baby Davis had a four trillion. If it wasn't for KG (who finished third in MVP voting) and Zydrunas Ilgauskas (22 points, 12 rebounds), I'd have to revise my earlier description of the game from "mildly retarded" to "severely retarded."

Fun fact 1: With the game tied at 72-all, Garnett hit a basket to give the Celtics a two-point lead with 22 seconds left. So those that say he shrinks away from the big moments can go suck it. LeBron "Mr. Fourth Quarter" James followed up KG's shot by boning a layup.

Fun fact 2: This is the final line from the Associated Press recap of the game: "James missed a long but meaningless jumper to punctuate his night." That just cracked me up for some reason.

Cleveland versus Boston: Game 1

LeBron James. The King shut up his critics — which consisted mostly of DeShawn Stevenson and the rest of the Wizards — by crushing his first-round foes under his royal boot. The Wiz did their best to rough him up and beat him down, but he still averaged a near triple-double (29.8 PPG, 9.5 RPG, 7.7 APG). Can LeBron pull the sword from the stone against Boston? (Yeah, probably.)

The Boston defense. The league's best regular season defense struggled, at times, to contain Joe Johnson and Josh Smith. Now they have to try and contain LeBron. Yeah. Good luck with that, guys. My suggestion would be stop everybody but LeBron. Even if he goes off for 50, the Celtics would still win, like, 98-57.

The LeBronnaires. Look, no man, no two men, no army of men or the undead can stop LeBron James. The question is...who else is going to step up for the Cavs? Zydrunas Ilgauskas? Wally Szczerbiak? Delonte West? Boobie? It's gotta be one of those guys or nobody. My best guess? Nobody. But then again, Kendrick Perkins may be the only center in the NBA who moves more slowly than Ilgauskas, so you never know...

Kevin Garnett. He's filling up with so much kinetic energy that he has officially become the first player since Alonzo Mourning in 2006 that I think might actually explode during a game. It's called spontaneous human combustion, people, and it happens, okay? That's science fact. Personally, I hope KG survives his own personal Chernobyl. Barring that, I can only hope one of the Boston fans saves me a piece.

Cockiness. The worst damage inflicted on the Celtics by the Hawks was Boston's newfound vulnerability...be it real or perceived. As Cleveland's Devin Brown put it: "They kind of had that arrogance about them all season by winning so many games that you were kind of not wanting to face them. But after seeing what we saw, I think we're ready to go." Unless I'm wrong - and I'm never wrong - that quote is on a bulletin board in the Boston locker room right now. Right next to a post-it note asking the question "Now who's Devin Brown again?"

Paul Pierce versus LeBron. With all due respect to DeShawn Stevenson, the King's first-round rival didn't really stand much of a chance. He can take on a fancy nickname and grow a mangy beard, but that doesn't make him not DeShawn Stevenson, you know? But LeBron's second-round rival...now, he's on a little more equal footing. What? You didn't know the Pierce and James were rivals? Oh hells to the yes. There's some serious history there. Now let's hope that Truth can do more than just deliver hard fouls and trash talk.

Lookin' over the shoulder. Barring the unforseen, the Pistons are going to make relatively short work of the Magic. (How's that for a reverse stat curse?) So, in theory, whoever is left standing after the Cavs-Celts series would be at a tactical disadvantage if it went six or seven games, right? Both teams are going to want to finish this soon. And you know Cleveland is going to go balls-out to steal this first game in Boston.

Anderson Varejao. What can I say? Stuff like this cracks me up. I think it's the hair.

I'm sorry Cleveland, but you guys have got to have the least threatening, least homecourt-advantage-giving playoff crowd in this entire field of 16. Yes, I know San Antonio didn't even fill its arena for some of its first round games, and yeah, I know Toronto and Orlando don't exactly bring the noise, but still, you guys take last. It's not your fault; trust me I know. You guys have had to tiptoe around LeBron ever since he denied signing the max contract, not to mention the fact that Cleveland sports fans in general constantly have to hold their collective breath given years of spurning by the Browns, Indians, and Ehlos. Nonetheless, in a toss-up series, home court advantage might just make the difference, and it's going clearly in Boston's favor.

Now that's not to say I don't have a beef with you, Boston fans. Your obnoxiousness has permeated sport culture so thoroughly over the past five years that it's overwhelmingly trite to even diss you. And hell, Mike Bibby already (properly) played the bandwagon card, so I've got nothing else to say. As far as the Celtics themselves, congrats guys, I loved all the jersey-popping and bench-stomping and chest-thumping in game 7, after you finally beat the Hawks in the last game of the series. Kevin Garnett is so intense. Veteran experience is so important. The holy spirit of Dave Cowens has entered the building. The Celtics love playing with each other. Wake me up when the talking heads are just heads.

The conventional wisdom is that the competitiveness of the Eastern Conference playoffs reflects the fact that the East wasn't really the sucker conference after all. On the contrary, the Hawks/Celtics and Wiz/Cavs series more likely showed that no one in the East could go for the kill. Ugh. So, now we get to the prime time stage of the NBA's B-Squad tournament, and it's Ubuntu vs. The Man.

Getting my prediction out of the way, I'm rolling with the Celtics, but I'm gonna put out there a 12% chance of LeBron winning the whole damn thing by himself. LeBron right now is Harry Truman meets Suge Knight. A dangerous nerd capable of destroying your lofty hopes, but a guy whom people still make fun of behind his back. And the Celtics won't respect him like the Wizards did. You see, the only reason the Wiz had a puncher's chance in that series is that they treated LBJ like MJ. They beat him up, they triple-teamed him, they trash-talked him non-stop, they let Wally Szczerbiak go for 26, they left Delonte West wide open for a game-winner. In other words, they treated LeBron like he was the only guy on the team that mattered, which is pretty darn close to the truth.

Now the Celtics, as opposed to the Wizards, have this aura of foolish pride that is going to likely inspire them to put Pierce on 'Bron in single coverage, which — as good of a defender as Pierce is — is going to be a handful. Maybe Doc Rivers can prove me wrong. Maybe he'll wise up and give 'Bron the Joe Johnson game 7 treatment. Maybe Tony Allen will finally get his proper burn, and maybe James Posey, the Celtics' MVPP (Most Valuable Player in the Playoffs), will get the LeBron assignment (and while we're at it, if Posey starts manning up James, can we get an over/under on how many times the term "length" is used?). But Doc hasn't proven anything yet this entire season, and I give him four games before he can figure out the proper way to guard Bronzino.

What I want to know is whether or not LeBron can get mean. LeBron never really could muster a cool response to the Wizards' prodding of him. Brendan Haywood's infantilizing mimicry of LeBron was hilarious as was DeShawn Stevenson's persistent wet-willying. Dude even let Papa John punk him. And yeah, the Cavaliers ended up winning the series and everyone was talking about how LeBron "spoke with his game" instead of verbally sparring with those plebeian Wizards. Eff. That. LeBron is never going to subvert his robotic/platonic image by actually SAYING anything at all that is more than a cliché or a carefully scripted "I'm above all that" cop-out non-response.

If LeBron can unleash some authentic from-the-soul wrath, he can overcome the dung-storm that the Boston crowd is gonna rain on him. Otherwise, it's curtains for the Cavaliers and another sad summer of speculation from Cleveland fans about LeBron's allegiances, his supporting cast, etc. Let's just say it — now that KG is paired up with Piru Love and Jesus Shuttlesworth, we can safely say that 'Bron is the superstar that has endured the worst supporting casts of all time. When your Pippen-of-the-month has been downgraded to Joe Smith, your chances of a title are slim. Let's hope 'Bron can take things personal, fire himself up and make things interesting.

With Game 4 of the Wizards-Cavs series about to tip off in the Verizon Center comes the news via The Washington Post's (Boooooooo!) Wizards Insider blog that the overcooked rivalry between LeBron James and DeShawn Stevenson has extended into the hip-hop arena. It all started with Queen James waving off the feud saying that if he deigned to respond to DeShawn, it "would be like Jay-Z saying something bad about Soulja Boy." Well, Soulja Boy was in attendance to back his basketball analog in D.C. for Game 3. In response, Hova recorded a diss track aimed at DeShawn, which was played at one of Marc Barnes' annoying D.C. clubs I never go to.

Jay-Z, the Jigga Man, H-to-the-Izzo, Mr. Beyonce Knowles, made [a] diss record about DeShawn Stevenson that was played at the D.C. night spot Love on Friday night, according to several witnesses. I have not heard the song or the lyrics but I was told that Jay-Z freestyled over the beat for the track, "Blow The Whistle" by rapper Too Short.

Sorry, Mr Carter. If DeShawn can't feel his face, he's most certainly invulnerable to your barbs. Lucky for Jay-Z that slam poet Etan Thomas remains out, because I have a feeling there would be a snappy response that somehow inculpates him in the Iraq War.

In the later game, the Jazz try to seriously make Tracy McGrady cry by taking a 2-0 lead on the road in Houston. (Those Mormons sure do get feisty!)

But like most of you, we're still hoping for an epic Arenas-LeBron battle in the Cleveland-Washington series. Gilbert looks healthy enough to make this fun. Tonight, we'd all like to flee to the Cleve.