Deadspin
We just thank God that Roger Clemens wasn't around to see this. Clemens, exercising the Unlimited Vacation clause in his contract, was in Connecticut when Scott Proctor walked in the winning run in the Orioles' 3-2 victory over the Yankees on Tuesday. Evidently mindful that it was Serious Heart Condition Day at Camden Yards, the Orioles won in the most colorless, unexciting way possible; a bases-loaded, full-count walk to Ramon Hernandez that brought in Corey Patterson from third to end the game (feeling drowsy). Patterson had led off the ninth with a walk, andZzzzzzzz ... Patterson went 3-for-3, stole a base, scored two runs and drove in one as the No. 9 hitter. He's now hitting .224! Johnny Damon had a two-run homer for the Yankees, who have lost three straight and six of seven. Yankees starter Andy Pettitte went seven seven innings, entering the game with a 20-5 record against Baltimore, including 12-3 at home.
• All Are Helpless Before The Might Of J.J. Putz. Mariners closer J.J. Putz fanned Manny Ramirez on three pitches for his third strikeout of the ninth inning to preserve Seattle's 8-7 win over Boston. Dynamic, muscled power hitter Richie Sexson had a two-run homer in the sixth that put the Mariners ahead for good (Sexson obviously has been drinking a lot of Power Thirst). Boston has lost seven straight in Seattle.
• Tony Abreu Has Energy Legs! The fan who caught Tony Abreu's first major league home run ball came to the Dodgers clubhouse after the game to make a deal with the rookie Abreu, who promptly traded another autographed ball and one of Ramon Martinez's bats for it. Los Angeles won 6-5 over Arizona in 10 innings, and there's going to be one very mad Ramon Martinez when he finds out what happened.
• Cubs Juggernaut Surges Forward. Cliff Floyd's two-run homer was the only real excitement in the Cubs' 8-5 win over the Rockies on Tuesday. No deranged fan sprinting toward the mound ... and we kind of miss that.
• Excuse Me, I Must Be Going. Jeff Cirillo broke an 0-for-8 slump with a mammoth, um, bloop single in the 12th inning to win it for the Twins, 2-1 over the Blue Jays.
Comments
Site redesign?
Or
Someone left an open HTML tag?
Also, Brendan Ryan is a stud and my new boyfriend. He had a great snag at 2nd and his first major league homerun. It was his 5th start in the majors. Yay Brendan!
Ramon Martinez still pitches?
I'm not feeling any love for the new design ... do I *really* have to press "more" for complete will-goodness?
BTW - like the Deadspin shoutout on PTI Monday ...
I think the redesign needs to be brought home by a full-count bases loaded walk, and then promptly retired.
I fear change.
.224 is not the worst that Corey Patterson has done in his career.
Still, at least the O's did beat the Yanks...
@Little Wooden Boy: think the redesign needs to be brought home by a full-count bases loaded walk, and then promptly tken out and shot behind the barn.
Who knew Chandler wrote "The Daily Closer"?
BY RICK!
Will is gracious in his non-mention of Cardinals' the Schoeneweis-assisted win last night.
Less gracious were the dickbag Yankee fans sitting three rows behind me at the game, talking shit about the Mets all game (oblivious to the fact that their own team was in the midst of its own crushing defeat).
I can't even begin to understand the psychosis that would cause someone to spend a shitload of money on tix, beer, food, etc. at a game where his team isn't even playing, for the express purpose of being a loud obnoxious douche to the home team's fans.
Seriously, what causes a person to act this way? Missing chromosome? Tiny, tiny penis? Or is it just a byproduct of Yankee fandom?
/vent
Don't joke, UM. Few weeks ago Suzyn Waldman was doing the out-of-town scoreboard, said Baltimore had a big lead thanks to "a Roberto Hernandez grand slam." Oh my goodness gracious.
Were the green boxes an omen of the scary changes to come???
boog also would not have ever stood for the site redesign, if we're continuing that into this thread.
I'm guessing Mr. Leitch is saving a whole series of posts, I say eleven one for each inning, for the Met/Card game.
@Lady Andrea: he played a helluva game, but getting a homerun off of scott "worst show ever" schoeneweis is easier than seeing britney spears' naughty parts.
Corey Patterson, pride of Harrison High School. One day I hope to be 2nd most famous.
Andruw actually got a big hit last night, after his average dropped to .196
Scott Shoeneweis shall be refer to as Blowenweis from now on.
During the last play of the Blue Jays-Twins tilt, I was mildly surprised Royce Clayton didn't roll Vernon Wells's leg and trash his knee.
The site redesign works about as well as Carl Pavano.
I'm not sure if anyone else saw this, but Sutcliffe sang 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame" at the Cubs game last night. I could have swore he was drunk when they interviewed him afterwards. He even asked if they had cut off his mic. Anyone else see this?
whoa...every single time i take a leave of absence! this is too much for me!
Randy Johnson misses entire road trips and MSNBC publishes an item about Clemens missing ONE game for a FUNERAL? First Imus and now this.
You knew the crowd was turning on Willie Randolph when my section started an "Aaron Sele" chant when Shoeneweis was warming up before the 11th.
@BigTenObsession: Everyone? I've known this since like the site started.
That being said, Joe Torre must be fired. I swear, the guy has the tactical stylings of a monkey throwing darts at a board.
@Rob Iracane: They need to pile on because he's not striking out 20 a game.
Chandler....now I know who to blame when they forget the Pirates.
(Looks around scared.)
I feel like I'm looking at the Cardinals' lineup for the past two games.
/Threadjack
from the NY Daily News:
Pro wrestler Chris Benoit apparently was pumping human-growth hormone into his 7-year-old son in the weeks before he killed his wife, the boy and himself at their suburban Atlanta home while consumed by "roid rage," a prosecutor said yesterday.
/Endjack
I picked the wrong day to get up late.
This new streamline concept frightens and infuriates me.
@UkraineNotWeak: I prefer "he who shall not be named."
@Phony Gwynn: Does that mean we all have a chance with Alyssa Milano?
@BigTenObsession: Rule of thumb: If it's got bullet points, it's Chandler's.
@LloydCarrPoolLane:
Jesus!!! Not exactly Dad of the Year material.
@BowdenBowdenBowden:
I'm pretty sure we all get more than our fair share of dating Alyssa Milano.
Maybe you guys could bring the Tiger's bullpen in to try and save the redesign.
My favorite part of the redesign is trying to decipher those words that are bleeding into the right column!
IE6
Is this redesign stuff going to up on all Gawker sites? I see that it's been implemented on Consumerist, but Kotaku is yet untainted - relatively speaking of course.
@BowdenBowdenBowden:
Blowenweis is reaching levels of Shea hatred not seen since the Doug Sisk years of the mid 80s.
@Gawker Media Presents: PeteJäyhawk™: Do you have to change your commentor name to Gawker Media Presents: A Streamlined Yet Not Quite As Functional And Definitely Uglier PeteJäyhawk™ now?
@Burnsy: When will alyssa milano stop dating baseball players and move on to another profession...say accountants?
@Jack Cobra: We commented on it last night, but as another said, that inning ending DP was the producer's dream come true...
@billyfabs: I don't care, I was happy anyway.
@Shea Guevara: Will doesn't write the Daily Closer.
@LloydCarrPoolLane: that's disgusting.
@UkraineNotWeak:
In the interest of completeness, the investigators did say that the boy seemed abnormally small. Maybe even "Van Gundy-ish". You can't let your kid go through life holding on to other men's legs like that.
@LloydCarrPoolLane: Yeah, they thought he was "undersized" so they gave their seven-year-old HGH. Granted, he was probably undersized BECAUSE HE WAS SEVEN. This story makes me angry.
@LostinTheOffice: I don't want to see Todd Jones all stretched out like the comments section
@LostinTheOffice:
He was disappointed that his son was seven and couldn't rip a phone book in half yet.
@Lady Andrea: But he is the grand poobah of these parts of the Interweb so...well, that lead in was just my excuse to rant anyway.
@LloydCarrPoolLane: That whole story is just beyond bizarre, and it makes absolutely no sense at all. The fact that it all happened over 2 days, and it was Benoit of all people.
When Miss. Elizabeth died a few years ago, we all knew Luger was involved. Its just weird to think Benoit could do all this. Guess we never know what goes on in some people's heads.
i'm going to need glasses for these tiny ass pictures
@LloydCarrPoolLane: you threadjackin' it?
@Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!: When he hit puberty and the growth spurt kicked in, he'd be 14 years old and 6'10", benching 300lbs. you think ol' dad wanted him to take over the family business?
Two things I don't need this morning.
1) Some women were walking by my cubicle and said, "Incest is best at (insert company name)."
2) This new design. Fuck it in the fucking ear.
@Monday Morning Punter: Is it weird that I read your comment with two syllables on Rick...as in "By MEN-nen!"