Deadspin
This just in: Joe Torre is still a racist. He also hates puppies, and Flight of the Conchords. Let's get him! Such would be the cry if Gary Sheffield ran baseball.
On Thursday Sheffield took some more swings at the Yankees manager, comparing him to Jim Leyland, and possibly Mussolini. Let's look in on the fun: "(Leyland is) real. That's all there is to it. You get it both ways — the positive and the negative — and he's real about both sides. I don't have to clear up nothing. I meant what I said, said what I meant — and I stand by it. Like I said before, you can do whatever you want with my words, I don't really care. If I lose friends, so what. I don't need friends. I've got plenty of friends. I don't really take myself too seriously. Whatever comes my way I just react." Torre responded: "It's all going to go back to the comments. I don't want to go there." Asked if he might talk to Sheffield if he had a chance, Torre said: "Probably not." Sheffield was 0-3 with two walks on Thursday as Carlos Guillen did all of the heavy lifting in the Tigers' 8-5 win over New York. Guillen's grand slam in the first, off of Mike Mussina, set the tone, and Ivan Rodriguez also homered as the Yankees took their third straight loss after winning nine of 10.
• The Hunt For Red October. Let's get this party started, uh huh ... The Cardinals are just 2 1/2 games back in the Central after beating the first-place Brewers 8-0 on Thursday, and to prove that they are truly in contention, Yadier Molina is now a power hitter. Molina's two home runs (!!) led St. Louis, which swept the three-game series, outscoring Milwaukee 28-7. (Chicago, which beat the Reds 12-4, is a half-game out). Adam Wainwright allowed two hits over seven innings.
• Raising Arizona. Don't look now, but the Diamondbacks have won eight straight series; including 19 of their past 24 games after a 6-1 win over Florida. They're now three games up on the second-place Padres in the West.
• The Thrillies. OK, if you don't beat the Nationals when your ace is pitching, you need to pack it in. But the Phillies don't need to pack; Cole Hamels got his 14th win in a 4-2 triumph. And so Philadelphia ascends into second place in the East, a half-game ahead of Atlanta (9-3 loss to the Giants) and three behind Mr. Met (10-7 loss to the Pirates)
• Los Angeles 4, Toronto 3. What? The Angels won at Rogers Centre? Must be some sort of paperwork mixup.
Comments
Gary Sheffield has plenty of friends, but none of them are called Whitey.
Let's chuck D cells! CLAP! CLAP! CLAPCLAPCLAP!
Come on you Phils.
@Mr. Soul: or "The Man"
Cole Hamels wins when he feels like winning.
What an all around awful performance by the Mets last night led by the twin terrors of the bullpen, Heilman and Mota.
That is a blatant lie, Sheff doesn't have any friends.
@MitchKayak: But I hear Sheff is a big fan of Garrett Morris' work on SNL.
Steroids is something you stick in your butt.
Period!
Because taking yourself to seriously is directly related to making coherent statements.
Gosh, that's what I've been getting wrong all this time!
Gary Sheffield as a color commentator, I like.
Gary Sheffield as a manager, I love.
He also hates puppies, and Flight of the Conchords.
That's 'cause Joe Torre hates the British.
Jim Torre might hate Flight of the Conchords, but from what I understand he's a HUGE John From Cincinnati fan.
Dear Mets Bullpen,
Thanks for making the Pirates look like the '61 Yankees. You officially ruined my birthday. Assholes.
Keith Hernandez would like to talk to him about his feelings on women in the dugout.
Joe Torre has never attended a New Jersey University women's water polo game.
@wes mantooth: no no, he hates the Austrailians
Fuck Yadier Molina in the pants for his 2006 NCLS homerun.
@Shea Guevara:
Dear Guillermo Mota,
Steroids are something you shoot in your butt, remember? Please resume butt shooting immediately.
Sincerely,
Mets fans
@Shea Guevara:
The situational hitting, fielding and starting pitching were no better.
I mean what I said, and I said what I meant.
An elephant faithful 100%
@pr0ff3ss0r_j3rkwh3at: He actually hates New Zealanders.
Has Gary Sheffield stopped to think that perhaps Joe Torre does not hate all black people...just that he hates Gary Sheffield? You know...like everyone else does.
@crazyjoedavola: If you put Guillermo Mota and Alex Cintron together, will it give you the spins?
I know - it was a stretch.
@Detective Bunk: oh, I get them confused - I like New Zealanders!
/poorly followed bit from an earlier episode
@Detective Bunk: Clearly these commenters need more geography lessons or Torre hates the Commonwealth.
Damn Canadians.
@UkraineNotWeak: Exactly why is Omar sticking with Mota? Steroids...check. ERA in the upper 5's...check. I'm tired of having to leave the room everytime Mota enters the game.
Hopefully, a nice weekend with the Nats will cure what ails them.
@Hit Bull Win Steak: crap i was supposed to edit it to say "Joe Torre hates black people 100%"
@pr0ff3ss0r_j3rkwh3at: Prof, why don't you offer Gary Sheffield some New Zealand apples?
[threadjack]
Has anyone else clicked on the Sitemeter icon in the bottom right corner of the page? You can see where everyone logged-on is located.
Did you know there is such a place as Embarrass, Wisconsin? How appropo!
[/threadjack]
Joe Torre is Albi the Racist Dragon!
@Civil Negligence: Yeah, well he's terrified of sea horses
Drags his son in on it and also talks in the third person.
Sheffield found it strange his comments about Jeter not being "all the way black" - therefore unaffected by Torre's alleged treatment of black players - would cause a stir. Jeter is the product of a black father and white mother. Sheffield said he has a son with a similar racial balance.
"So if I was talking about Jeter, I was talking about my son. So, obviously, I'm not talking about my son," Sheffield said.
"When I have an issue with somebody within the Yankees organization or the Yankees, what [the media] try to do is include Jeter in that conversation to distort what I'm talking about. Jeter is an icon. Jeter is not going to get the same treatment as Shawn Chacon, Gary Sheffield, nobody else."
@DamnSkippy: Strangely entertaining.
Forget Sheff. Where will Yadier and Jose spend the winter now that the P...
Gary Sheffield hates Boston.
@DamnSkippy:
Alright, which one of you nobs is in Royal Oak?
@DamnSkippy: Whoever is reading from the Netherlands needs a commenter invite stat.
@chilltown: If only for the inevitable rambling live from a coffee shop post.
@chilltown: Amen. And a Pants Party.
I'm perfectly aware that Gary Sheffield is an asshat, but there's something to be said for not, under any circumstances, giving a flying fuck about anyone or anything.
Also, IGUCHI! Go Fightins!
@Detective Bunk: I think the world would explode if we had a Deadspin Pants Party in Amsterdam.
@Chief Wahoo:
Boston hates Gary Sheffield.
Because he's an asshole.
Hey NL East, thanks for sucking. We'll be claiming 1st in a week or so, and we want to thank you all for your assistance in this manner.
-Thrillies
@SlightlyLessDeliciousNoise: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You know better than that.
@Chief Wahoo: Actually, he doesn't. He's on the record about how much he'd like to play for the Sox.
[redsox.bostonherald.com]
@SlothLoveChunk: Probably because most of the rest of that amazin bullpen from '06 is pretty much gone.
@OchentaYcinco:
No, screw that, I'm tired of this cautious optimism fading into defeatism every September. CAUTION TO THE WIND. It is over, the Phillies will win the division, the only thing we have left to do at this point is wait.
The Mets killed me last night. My wife is posting this via Ouija board.
@SlightlyLessDeliciousNoise: If (when) they inevitably finish one game out of the playoffs again while the shitty Brewers/Cubs/Cardinals make it (again), vengeance will be mine. Sorry friend, I've been beaten into defeatism.
@BigTenObsession: @DamnSkippy:
Apparently the site meter needs a geography lesson to. 6% of readers are from countries that it has never heard of!