Deadspin
We have just learned what David Wells had been doing between the time the Padres cut him on Augus 6 and he was signed by the Dodgers last week. He was surfing, according to him. Mitch Yost-like, no doubt, shooting the curl at Imperial Beach like a sleek seal. Come on Wells, you never once left The Beachcomber, did you?
Evidence came with his half price Margarita-fueled, five-inning effort in his debut for the Dodgers on Sunday; LA beating the Mets 6-2. Our hero (6-8) allowed seven hits and two runs, walked three and struck out two in his first game in 20 days ... not bad, really. The Dodgers are now 3½ games back of wild card-leading San Diego, but with three teams to pass (four if you count the Rockies, with whom they are tied), it looks grim. Rafael Furcal went 3-for-4 and scored two runs. David Wright doubled twice for the Mets, who lead the NL East by six games over the Phillies. Kind of odd, isn't it, that David Wells is employed and Alberto Gonzales is not?
• We Now Join The NL Central Already In Progress. Georgia native Adam Wainwright threw seven innings to get the win as the Cardinals beat the Braves 4-1 powered by Juan Encarnacion's home run. And so our little soap opera shows the Cubs (5-4 losers to Arizona) in the lead, with Milwaukee (5-4 losers to the Giants) in second 1 1/2 games out, and St. Louis in third, two games back.
• We're Calling This. Joe Torre quote following Sunday's 5-4 loss to the Tigers: "We're all right." Translation: "We're screwed. We just have to hope for the wild card now." Curtis Granderson had an inside-the-park homer for the Tigers. The Yankees fell to 7 1/2 game behind the Red Sox in the AL East.
• Howard Huge. All you Ryan Howard fans should know that he homered and had four RBI as the Phillies beat the Padres 14-2.
• Four-Game Sweeps. David Ortiz hit a two-run homer, and J.D. Drew and Bobby Kielty also homered, making a winner of Julian Tavarez (!), the Red Sox beating the White Sox 11-1.
Comments
The Cardinals have been on a ten-week tear. Tied for lowest ERA in the NL since June 15th. WOO HOO!
Kai helped David Wells dump out.
Overheard at the beach after Wells bit it:
"Is anyone here a marine biologist?"
Is it just me, or are we seeing more 40+ pitchers pitching well the past couple of years then normal? Moyer, Glavine, Smoltz, Wakefield, Maddux, Wells, Johnson (not this year), Clemens, etc.
All that drinking -- errr -- resting must have been good for old Boomer. Here's predicting he gets hit around in two of his next three starts, making the Dodgers realize why the Padres put him out on the scrap heap.
Four game sweeps?
How about some love for the Twins' five game sweep of the O's?
What's that? Warner-Robbins could sweep the O's?
Never mind.
Wainwright is the one that got away for Schuerholtz.
Does that mean David Wells will now get canceled since he had a Mitch Yost experience?
As long as wells doesn't levitate like Mitch Yost, the Los Angeles area might be safe from earthquakes when Wells falls down.
No love for Jayson Werth's career day yesterday? Dude went 5-5 with 4 RBI, and made a few nice plays in the outfield. I was sitting on the first base side yesterday, and every time he came out after that first inning, he got a nice standing O from those of us on the right field corner.
The White Sox should really be thanking the O's today. The four game pounding by a cumulative 46-7 would look really bad if the Orioles hadn't let 2/3 of that happen to them in one game.
5 innings and 10 baserunners? No, that's bad.
I know nothing of Mitch Yost, but I'm fairly confident that he could manage a game as well as Nedly does.
Excuse me while I go shred my playoff ticket invoice.
@Lady Andrea: The NL Central. The division nobody wants.
Carmona and Sabathia are both one start away from climbing up in a clock tower and starting to pick people off.
Julian Tavarez has always been a winner.
@J-No: we'll take it, though, right? They may be terrible, but they're our terrible.
@Lady Andrea: Wainright in his last 14 starts: 8-4, 2.87 ERA, .244 BAA, and he's only given up four homers in 94 innings.
Wells is really more of a sea lion that a seal. Sea lions are much bigger than seals.
@Juancho: It should be a good series between the Twins and the Tribe starting tonight...
Your squad could put the Twins away for good or let them right back in.
the Cubs gained 3 1/2 games while going 8-11 over their last 19. Now Soriano is back.....
Kind of odd, isn't it, that David Wells is employed and Alberto Gonzales is not?
Yeah, but a good kind of odd, like when you see an old woman put her dentures in to eat corn.
@Lady Andrea: In a heartbeat.
Any other Diamondbacks fans want to chip in and send David Wells a "Welcome Basket" to include a case of Schlitz and six boxes of Ding-Dongs?
@Jack Cobra: we're coming to get you, Cubs.
@FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns: I'm glad you said "sea lion" instead of "fuck lion" when referring to Wells.
*shudder*
@throwbot: My eyes, my eyes, they are burning!
@Weed Against Speed: Sabathia/Santana on Wed.-man, I wish I was going, but that's the night I work late.
@FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns: "That guy is tense. Tension is a killer. I used to be in a barbershop quartet in Skokie, Illinois. The baritone was this guy named Kip Diskin, big fat guy, I mean, like, orca fat. He was so stressed in the morning... "
@Lady Andrea: You can't touch us, you've tried already - 4-7 against us this season. your schedule is brutal...
@Weed Against Speed:
No Mauer for the 3-game set.
@Jack Cobra: actually, our remaining schedule isn't that bad. And while you guys may win the series between Cubs/Cards, we'll catch you anyway. : )
@Juancho: That's going to be a good one.
@Cinco Ocho: The way Mauer's been hitting of late, I'd almost rather have Redmond in there.
@chilltown: You couldn't have as many old people pitching in the past, because in the past, everyone is younger.
@Jack Cobra: Actually, we have 20 remaining games against teams that are at least 10-15 games under .500. We have 3 games against a .500 team and only 10 against .500+ teams.
It sucks that we don't have another day off, but I like the way our schedule looks down the stretch.
@Lady Andrea: actually....
The Cardinals will be forced to play 35 games in the final 34 days of the season, including a day-night doubleheader against the Cubs on Sept. 15 in St. Louis. They will have no off days after Aug. 27.
This will kill your team, especially your bullpen. It happened to us in '04
@Lady Andrea: your schedule will kill you.
@Jack Cobra: we'll see.
@Lady Andrea: @Jack Cobra: The NL Central sucks like an industrial strength Hoover Electrolux, and none of the teams are worth the corn in my stool.
What will kill your teams is the fact that both of them suck. And I know suck. I'm a Pirates fan.
In other news, White Sox in last place!
@apostles03: you know what? I don't care how much they suck. The race has gotten exciting and my team has come back from the dead. The next 34 days are going to be great fun.
@Lady Andrea:Correction: The dead have come back to your team.
Going on a bender at Joe's Crab Shack does not equate to surfing on the beach Mr. Wells. And @apostles03: I am Brewers fan and I know suck as well. Last playoffs, 82.
@apostles03: Simmer down, now. Our Buccos have outscored the entire National League in August. Hit more home runs than the remainder of the league as well.
Not that it matters.
/making a silk purse out of a sow's ear
@Matt_T:
I don't like thinking about that, not because of Wainwright, but because of Just Disabled Drew.
I hope Jair Jurrjens didn't injure his flurjenyurjen too seriously.
@Sarcastro:
[slams hand on counter]
[shouts]
Simma down now!
Wells also had a BUNT SINGLE last night - not bad for a fat old man (this coming from another fat old man, and one who definitely could not do what Wells did last night ... except for drink the celebratory beers Wells probably had after the game).
@CardinalRedOctober: For real. Miller and Morgan were praising him up and down like he'd thrown a complete game shut out. Wells was helped out by some shit-witted base running on the Mets' part.
I would be astounded if Wells doesn't get shelled next time out. And if not then, the following start.
"David Wells in a wetsuit" may have supplanted "Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day" in the "must get rid of wood right away" hall of fame.
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