Deadspin
As New York continued to spit vitriol at Bonds (the Daily News came up with the gimmick of actually putting him on trial), it kind of forgot that the Yankees and Mets also played on Tuesday. In fact, the Yanks won; got into a scuffle with the Blue Jays, and crept to within five games of the Red Sox in the East. Sure, it was a typical baseball altercation in which no punches were actually thrown. But Roger Clemens was ejected, so that's something! (The Mets lost 7-3 to the Braves).
The Jays are still somewhat miffed over that infield yelling thing that Alex Rodriguez did to them a few weeks back and retaliated by plunking him during Tuesday's game. Benches cleared ... including the bullpen benches, which is always comical, because by the time the pitchers run all the way across the field to reach the action, no one can remember what the fight was about. Clemens returned the favor by hitting Alex Rios in the seventh, prompting his dismissal from the premises, along with Torre. Think they then played Battleship in the clubhouse? Jumanji? The Yankees won 9-2. Oh, and Giambi activated from the DL!
• You Mess With Tom Gorzelanny, You Get the Horns. Arizona's 19-year-old rookie Justin Upton, making his home debut, was spledorrific; falling just a single short of hitting for the cycle. But it was all for naught, as Tom Gorzelanny struck out a career-high nine over seven innings in the Pirates' 8-3 win. Also the Diamondbacks are a little lighter in the wallet today than they were on Monday, courtesy of Eric Byrnes.
• Padres 4, Cardinals 0 ... It's the score that appeared on the ESPN crawl at the exact moment that Bonds hit his home run on Tuesday ... Padres 4, Cardinals 0 ... Jake Peavy extending his scoreless streak to 19 innings, San Diego earning its major league-leading 16th shutout of the season ... Padres 4, Cardinals 0 ... forever frozen in time ... Padres 4, Cardinals 0 ...
• The Devil Rays Are In the Details. Nate Robertson left in the eighth with a four-run lead, whistling all the way to his locker where he treated himself to a Milky Way bar in honor of the victory. Oops. Detroit's bullpen blew the whole thing. No candy for you! But the Tigers came back and won anyway, 9-6.
• Because Every Hoofed Mammal Deserves A Second Chance. Perhaps in response to Will's call for reason and sanity on Monday, Mariner Moose will not be punished for nearly running over Boston's Coco Crisp during Sunday's game at Safeco Field. He must, however, attend a driver's safety class for his record to be expunged.
Comments
Thanks for everyone that pointed out Olly Perez was 3-0 against the Braves this year.
This just in: Another ball just blooped into left-center field, scoring two.
Something new I just learned - Roger Clemens' real name is William Roger Clemens. From this point forward, he is Billy Clemens in my head.
I thought ESPN said we were only allowed to talk about Bonds?
10 Mill a year for a guy who doesn't even know to just touch the plate. Just think, if instead of messing with Varitek, Byrnes just goes back and scores that run, we don't have 2003, and the following Red Sox obsession in the national media. He owes us all.
@The Gut of Cecil Fielder: That hasn't been the case forever. The "William" grew in 2002 as a side effect of all that HGH....
Go ahead and make fun of their names all you want but Buddy got the win and Chipper went 3/4 falling a HR shy of the cycle.
/waits for the we're still in first comments.
If I were Toronto I'd hit A-Rod again today.
"Sure, it was a typical baseball altercation in which no punches were actually thrown."
Derek Jeter did try to slap someone though.
He must, however, attend a driver's safety class for his record to be expunged.
I smell offbeat screwball comedy!! What's Jennifer Tilly and Brian Backer up to these days?
Not only would the pitchers arrive quicker if they used one of those "Bases Loaded" bullpen carts, but also they could go Mariner Moose on their targets.
Joba Chamberlain gives all us fat boys from Nebraska hope that someday we too can blow our rookie contracts on Nutter Butters and Twix PB.
please God, please heal Joel Zumaya's finger. And if you somehow could have a runaway steamroller run over Jason Grilli and Macay Mcbride, that would be a bonus....
@Weed Against Speed: Jennifer Tilly is busy being fellated by ESPN in the World Series of Poker. Brian Backer is available, however.
@Hit Bull Win Steak: And God, please allow Todd Jones to channel the mustache to be a very boring 1-2-3 closer.
Shelley Duncan is my new man-crush for sliding hard into second and taking out John McDonald.
I don't feel too weird about it because he has a girls's name
@chilltown: I wish she were busy suffocating me with her jugs.
It was great watching the little pygmy Mateo Escalera running around like he is actually worth caring about.
Great win for the Yanks. Posada responded perfectly right after A-Rod's at bat, and it was great watching A-Rod round third and pray for a play at the plate because he would have decimated Gregg Zaun.
Also glad that Roger did the right thing and stick up for his teammate later on in the game. I was somewhat suprise that he didn't do it with two outs, but he had a chance to pluck their All-Star named Alex and he took advantage of it. Minus the Bonds homer, it was a great day all around.
@throwbot: Shelley Duncan is actually the love child of Shelley Long and Sandy Duncan. Honest.
*Sigh*, Brian Lawrence vs. John Smoltz tonight. That should go over really well. C;mon Pedro, here boy. I'm sure we can find you another Dominican midget as your good luck charm. Just come back soon.
SteakGrowsOnDmitri: then hed pull some foul shit like rollin up wit like 4 a his boys askin fa blunts n shit
@Matt_T:
Hey, man, we're still in first.
Gorzelanny now accounts for nearly a 1/4 of the Pirates wins and with a respectable ERA, to boot. Well, Tom it was nice knowin' ya.
@throwbot: That was a great play by Shelley. Also, that Josh Towers fella is a little bi-atch. Especially his postgame comments about Pena. It's guys like Towers that makes the DH rule look bad.
@Jefferson DArcy: I read that Farnsworth cleared waivers. All the Yankees need to do now is find a team crazy enough to pick up his contract.
Whittle whittle whittle!
@tonguequinncheek: nope, it's el duque. that should should lift your spirits!
haha it sounds like dookie
btw can someone please wipe that perma-smirk off of francoeur's face
@Upstate Underdog: Even though Farnsworth has been completly useless as a pitcher this year, the Yankees need to keep him if there is the possibility of brawl against Toronto.
I'm so glad Isringhausen stuck around to "be a part of something special." The three runs he gave up in the 9th last night were indeed special.
@Upstate Underdog:
I can see a team like Atlanta or even Detroit raising an eye of interest at Farnsworthless. I just hope someone takes him, once (and if, cause its a big if) they get rid of him, I think this team will have rid itself of all its cancers. We still need a left handed reliever out of the pen not named Ron Villone though.
@Chad Sexington: Hey, A-Rod is the reason for all of that beaning....let's keep that in mind. I'm an A-Rod fan, but what he did was horrendous, which is why I say they should just keep hitting him.
Dear Chicago Cubs,
The Brewers are trying to give you the division. Please just reach out and take it.
Thank you,
J-No and Family
@throwbot: I was thinking about that two yesterday until I saw footage of the second altercation and saw that Farnswothless was on the bench and gingerly jogged out there after the fact, while Shelley Duncan sprinted with a full head of steam at the first sight of comotion.
@Hit Bull Win Steak: Can we just give Grilli some work in the front office? I mean, I know he's a legacy, but this is getting a bit crazy.
@tonguequinncheek:
You should know better. You know the Mets only hit against good pitchers and look like crap against scrubs. Which means a Mets win tonight is likely.
See Davies, Kyle.
@J-No:
Dear Cubs Fans,
Please stop riding the goddamn Red Line if you don't know where it goes. We sincerely hope your team does not make the playoffs as their success would only prolong the insufferable presence of clueless suburbanites on our fair city's public transportation.
Thank you and good day.
Sincerely,
North-Siders
@Jack Cobra: Hey, and the Blue Jays had all the right and chances to hit A-Rod. They did NOTHING when they played them a month ago, and then on Monday they threw the ball behind him, as Jesse Litsch did his best "Imma Shawn Estes type Pussy" impression. Should have been over there in my mind. If your THAT mad at guy, drill A-Rod the first chance you see him. I dont think anybody would have complained about that, including myself and fellow Yankee fans.
@Afino: I hope you're right. But throwing Brian Lawrence against the likes of Texeira and the Joneses does not make me comfortable.
@tonguequinncheek: Don't forget about Escobar, Johnson, Diaz and Francoeur who are all hitting over .300.
@Jefferson DArcy: The 2004 Braves would disagree with your assessment.
(The Mets lost to the Braves 7-3)? That's it? I love how the Yankees getting in a slap fight somehow relegates a crucial Pennant series to parenthetical asides.
I think I've decided, though, as much as I hate the amount of media coverage the Yankees get...I'd hate it even more if I were a Mets fan.
@Jefferson DArcy: They should've drilled Giambi when he came up immediately after A-Rod's screaming on May 30.
And Jesse's just a kid. He's not a beaning veteran like Roger.
@Matt_T: Sheep in a wolves den. I just got ill thinking about that.
@Upstate Underdog: What does his contract look like? I would die from joy if he became a Fightin'.
@The Gentleman Masher: Hey, I was just hoping and considering his local ties, the Braves might interested. It was wishful thinking on my parts. As for the Yanks getting the media in NY. What can I say, its still a Yankees city, despite what Mets fans want to think. They are still what makes the city pump in the Summer.
@Dr. Michael Mancini: I agree with you that Giambi should have been plunked. Again, I wouldnt be complaining if that happend and Im sure neither would Jason. Im just glad that Ozzie Guillen wasn't young Jesse's manager of he would have be sent down to the minors faster than you can say Kei Igawa.
Padres 4, Cardinals 0 ... forever frozen in time ... Padres 4, Cardinals 0 ...
"Why are you hitting yourself, Leitch?"
@tonguequinncheek:
And Escobar's hitting over .500 with RISP.
Just thought I'd throw that out there too.
@Jefferson DArcy: I think there was a reason why they didn't hit him a month ago. I don't remember what it was but I remember wondering why and coming away with some reason that made sense to me. I think it was the 'element of surprise' reasoning. The Blue Jays said they were over it at the time and weren't going to do anything about it.
Still, I'd hit him today to close out the series. As long as they don't give out warnings before the game it will be the Yankees who lose the pitchers when they retaliate.
@Afino: The kid's got moxy, I tells ya!!
@Yostal: Fire Grilli!
I'm fine with hitting A-Rod for virtually any reason, but shouldn't the Blue Jays, um, get over it? What's the statute of limitations on this?
@Shawon-O-Meter: I welcome some action in the East that doesn't involve merely Yanks & Sawkx. About damn time that O's, Jays, & Rays stopped rolling over for the Monopoly guy.