We know our sponsors don't smoke weed, we know this; but we're gonna get 'em high today, 'cause it's Friday; they ain't got no job... and they ain't got shit to do. ... God put this here for us and you. Take advantage man, take advantage.

Are you prepared for Jehovah's return? Because if you're not, we've got a pamphlet. [Door slams.] Well, eff you then. Half-dead motherfucker. Come on, sister.

Boy, get your ass in here. We smelled your shit for 22 years. Now you can smell our for five minutes. If you can handle all that, you're ready to be a Deadspin sponsor. Click here to find out how.

• HSBC
• pppCard.net
• Hershey's
• BBC America

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