Hey, baby. We noticed you have braces. We have braces too.
It's like ... this chick's a slut ... and look at this guy! He's old, but he's probably scored a million times! But not us! We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score!
You want us to do a guy? No way!
We don't know: That is a lot of money! Maybe we can close our eyes and pretend he's a pretty good chick.
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• Toyota Yaris
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• Hershey's
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