Deadspin
The Smoking Gun continues its public document assault on the sporting world today, releasing an ESPN motion calling for "a protective order" in its ongoing legal battle with Reynolds. What's that mean? It means that it doesn't want its next filing to the court to go public. They're bathing it in the "we want to protect the innocent from exposure" excuse.
ESPN will present certain documents and information that should be protected against unrestricted use and dissemination, including documents and information related to concerns raised by five young women about [Reynolds'] sexual misconduct.
Well, first off, five is an impressive number. We're not sure that's the real reason ESPN wants it private, but they sure got that number five out there, didn't they?
ESPN: Five Women "Concerned" About Reynolds [The Smoking Gun]
Comments
FIVE BOSTON MARKET MEALS! AH AH AH!
Well...off the top of my head...
Erin Andrews, Linda Cohn, Kit Hoover, Rachel Nicols, Mike Greenberg
Man, what the fuck did he do?
-Sean Salisbury's Penis
This has to be tied into the $5 ESPN cafeteria meal coupons somehow.
The starting five for the 2005-2006 Tunxis Community College women's basketball team?
Harold Reynolds- true american hero
Sarge:
Thea Andrews feels neglected and forgotten.
...but what else is new.
Whatever, I know their names.
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
and Friday
MAAAN, PUT DOWN MY PAPAYA!
Finally, a way to get people to care about ESPN Motion!
Harold, if there's anything you should have learned from your fellow on-air personalities, it's that you absolutely cannot grab a girl's ass without at least greasing the wheels with a "Lemme know" first.
If your name can be rearranged to spell "Dares Horny Doll" and "Lands Orderly Ho" then it's not your fault, it's what you were born to do.
Perhaps more interesting is the fact that they don't want to provide discovery documents relating to their internal investigation until after they've deposed him. Might as well just say "We've got something you don't know about that we're going to try to trap you with".
Man, what the fuck did he do?
-Sean Salisbury's Penis and Michael Irvin, Genealogist
Fixed!
Tuffy wins hands down, though that may be strictly coming from a CT point of view.
My gut instincts tell me that the aforementioned "5 young women" were likely some MILF's at the Little League World Series.
Though I thought it was the starting 5 for Albertus Magnus
Was this before or after Jemele Hill came on board? I can't keep the time frame straight.
I can't wait for Law & Order: ESPN
If the answer is Pam Ward then we be better off not knowing
By the way, prepare to see less HR and Irvin on ESPN and more headbutts.
Zidane may sign with Chicago Fire monday, 15mil+ a year, sez the Wash Post's Steven Goff.
Do you think Linda Cohn would pleasure a man in that, you know, special way? Because that would be friggin' sweet.
HR refers to the 5 women as his "starting rotation".
SteveJeltzFan - I hope they let Jerry Orbach rest in peace for that show.
Apropos of nothing, did anyone else see this brilliant Onion article and accompanying photo?
The Onion: Millions Of Americans Travel To Kentucky To Attend Barbaro's Funeral (http://www.theonion.com/content/news/millions_of_americans_travel_to)
You just broke the interwebs
I think it's fairly safe to say Mary Buckheit wasn't one of Harold's Fave Five.
SBW broke out the sacred box!
His post roams free.
ESPN will present certain (hilarious) documents and (explicitly detailed) information that should be protected against unrestricted use (by Deadspin) and dissemination (to Deadspin), including (uproarious) documents and (totally incriminating) information related to concerns raised by five young (kinda hot) women about [Reynolds'] sexual misconduct.
Wahoo, you've blown all of our minds. Who knew that was possible? We bow before your nerditude.
If these names come out, then someone will find their facebook/myspace photos, and it will be a twisted orgy of underground sports revolution.
Next week, On Deadspin! (!!!)
Or you could just, you know, link.
Didn't we threaten castration of the last person who posted pictures? I mean, not that that's not a great one, but a link would have sufficed.
That Barbaro casket has got to be one of the most creepy things I have ever seen. Goodnight sweet prince. I don't even want to know how they are going to close it.
Wahoo, something about that does not compute. I can't put my finger on it.
It's just, I always pictured Dee Mirich as... well... paler.
Five, five, five, five, five.
5 times. Count 'em. Five. F.I.V.E.
That's how many previous incidents and accidents, hints and allegations. The number is five and five is the number.
1,2,3,4,5
Dude, I can post a pic of my junk by doing what??
Holy shit! How'd that happen?
That Barbaro casket has got to be one of the most creepy things I have ever seen. Goodnight sweet prince. I don't even want to know how they are going to close it.
Lets just say it involves a chainsaw, a plastic tarp, and closed doors.
I discovered how to do the picture post by total and complete accident and saw it pop up in the comment preview. Not sure if I should share it and risk a massive outbreak of people posting photos of their junk (looking at you, SteveJeltzFan).
To the annoyed people, I'll just link next time. I like my balls attached to me.
Actually, the picture thing's been done before. It's just kind of the unwritten rule that no one does it on here. I think the Big Bobby funeral may warrant an exception though.
I plead the fif! One two three four FIF!
-Ask me a question!
-How--
-FIF!!
People, did none of you read the URL? The Barbaro funeral photo is from the Onion.
Who's in your five?
Zidane may sign with Chicago Fire Monday
SQUEE!
erm. That's interesting.
SBW- I'm not one of the annoyed ones, I was just kind of saying the same thing Honcho was, that it's an unwritten rule. It's a hilarious picture though. Besides, I think the last person to post a picture was flubby, and no one's going to try to take away the nuts of a member of the KSK Amaechi Mafia.
Is that joke dead yet?
Not sure if I should share it and risk a massive outbreak of people posting photos of their junk (looking at you, SteveJeltzFan).
By the time this gets posted I'm sure several others will have mentioned it, but it's a bit of an unwritten rule that we don't do pictures. It's also an unwritten rule that we don't post nude, except for Tuesdays, Thursdays, and weekends. And for the purposes of that rule, weekends run Friday through Monday. So basically, we don't post nude on Wednesdays.
Unless they're odd-numbered, then it's cool.
Is Harold hung like a horse ? I dont get it..
Apropos of Wahoo's photo, I had an odd dream last night. Me and some buddies had a bachelor party at Dee Mirrich's lakeside house. Nice place. She was out of town.
I now dream about Deadspin. How fucked up is that?
By the way, prepare to see less HR and Irvin on ESPN and more headbutts.
You mean less hugs and less drugs?
Now you tell me, Dweeze.
+1 I Dream of Leather