NIGHTMARE FUEL! Jeez Will!

And now I am going to go weep in the corner.

A little Visine ought to clear that up. Lemme know.

And there goes my breakfast. Bye bye!

Yaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

Sorry, that's just really freaky to look at. And not "Stu Scott txting to get some ass" freaky. Bad Freaky.

This is much, much, much worse than favremadden.jpg from two nights ago. Much, much worse.

Where's the nightmare fuel tag? It's like his stare is burning into my soul.

no pink eye tag?

Now now, settle down. There's enough topical cream to go around.

Pink eye? I figured AJ took a swing at him.

Can't he just pop that thing out and put in a new one?

Ew.

The closer you get, the worse he gets. Christ. I hope that cameraman learned his lesson.

looks like Stu been hanging with the Gonzaga basketball team

Maybe he was just high. You know, because Bill Simmons said everyone in Vegas was high this weekend. Did you know the whole town smelled like spilt bong water? It did.

my monitor screen just cracked in half

Eric Cartman thinks Stu is an amateur.

Gonorrhea of the eye is no laughing matter.

his blue eye is almost as bad as the red one. and why would he stop and smile for a picture with his face looking like that? did he not know?

He must have been bitten by Kenny McCormack.

(... and he probably got *no* play from any Bronco cheerleaders)

Let this be a reminder - Wash your hands as often as possible.

Is that an infection, or is this just lingering effects of his weekend with the Gonzaga basketball team?

Looks like somebody's taking the red-eye flight back to Bristol.

Clearly Photoshop's red-eye reduction tool has its work cut out for it.

Boo-No.

I think that just means that his eye is over-ripe. Time to pop it out and put in a new one.

Don't be ridiculous - he got that pink eye from the Juggs machine.

TSW - Just seeing that photo made me put some Purell on my hands!

I've got $20 on a nice leather pirate eyepatch for Stu. I think it's time.

We'll be sure to cross our t's and dot our....lower-case j's.

are we sure he wasn't just partying with the zags?

Hell, you should see his browneye.

The goggles! They do nothing!

I didn't know they were filming Blade 4.

Amaechi probably gave him an angry pirate the night before.

I bet Vince Carter had to apologize profusely for that one.

Did pacman spit in his eye?

come on y'all... stu just accidentally left his eyes open when kobe was, you know, doing his thing

Gonorrhea of the eye is no laughing matter.

"Hello. You have reached the offices of Dr. Octagon. If you have insurance, or medical, problems, I'm here for you. For any kind of rectal rebuilding, chimpanzee acne, relocated saliva glands, & of course moose bumps, dial 1.800.Pee.Pee.5.1.Doo.Doo. I'm in your corner".

can someone direct me to the link for maddenfarve.jpg? I missed out on that one...and I think I want to know about this...

@jwaves: Just when I thought I couldn't be more repulsed.
Thanks!

ZPS- I had pink eye earlier this year, and everyone at work treated me like a leper, so that was fun.

goddammit, there has been pinkeye happening at my office and i've been lucky so far, but i had just gotten over the whole "every time my eye twitches, i run and check the mirror" until now that is.
fuck, eye itchy, gotta go.

Poor boooya boy. All those hot bitches in Vegas and he can't see shit.

I love the fact that the post below this one has 0 comments. Fuck you NHL and your "marketing" dept.

Stu, that contagious? Lemme know.

TLL, some Purell for you my friend!

Sarah Conner, Boo-yah.

When Chris Berman mentioned "taking the red-eye to Love City," Stu thought he was talking about travel arrangements. Then the pepper spray came out...

If one of his eyes is blue and the other is red, does that me can see in 3-D?

@Chief Illiniwek: Chief I was too creeped out by whatever Deadspin partner site that was to post a comment. The NHL can suck it.

I am soooo not going to give him a fist-bump.

"If one of his eyes is blue and the other is red, does that me can see in 3-D?

That joke is going to keep me giggling all day. Thank you sir.

I've got 8oz. of purell on my desk at all times to use, not that I'm a germaphobe or anything (not that there's anything wrong with that, right Tim?)

@cameltrader: and no Butterfly kisses.

Stop!!! That's Willy's gold!

and I think I want to know about this...

No, you don't.

Not that I would ever be happy to get pink eye, but if I had just spent a few days in Vegas, doing whatever it is that Stu Scott does when tagging along with NBA players... well, I'd be calling in for some antibiotics. The strong stuff.

@WheelOfOrton: OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

I didn't realize that it was semen that keeps the other side of the pillow so cool.

I think it was his eye! yes, it was this! He had the eye of a vulture --a pale blue eye, with a film over it. Whenever it fell upon me, my blood ran cold; and so by degrees --very gradually --I made up my mind to no longer watch ESPN, and thus rid myself of the eye forever.

@Diddly: thank you Diddly...I will take your word on this...

@SagerBombs: It's really taking me a lot of willpower to not go on a Goonies-quote bender here. Props for typing that whole thing out.

Another strike against Deadspin Widescreen

I'm sorry, but this nothing. 289 has a clip that's way, way worse, if anybody's interested. I don't think I can ever be grossed out again after last night.