Is it the commemorative jock from that bowl game?

But when does Lil' Sean's jersey get retired?

"He's auctioning off two spots in his annual Sean Salisbury Golf Classic."

I would bid, but these will definitely be snagged by Hootie and a Blowfish.

Also a first-ballot entry into the BattleBots Broadcasting Hall of Fame.

I guess you could say Salisbury's a real "athletic supporter". Sorry, I'll show myself out now.

Game worn? Authenticated?

They're going to LET HIM BACK INTO HIS HIGH SCHOOL? With all those underage girls running around?

In other news, 'Little Sean' was honored as the champion of the 2007 'Masterbate-A-Thon' in London.

Upon accepting the award, Little Sean thanked his host, Big Sean, for the opportunity to please/horrify so many ladies in the audience. He then dedicated the award to perverts everywhere and pledged to continue frightening women one by one until every last one is familiar with the sight of Little Sean.

I would have thought he would auction of an autographed picture of his.....

I have an autographed pic of Lil' Sean.

Dammit J-No!

@Suss--: Salisbury didn't get the requisite number of votes for first ballot admittance into the American Gladiator Announcer's Hall of Fame though.

@Lady Andrea: Salisbury's probably the jock version of Wooderson.

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

@BowdenBowdenBowden: Mike Adamle did, though.

I saw him calling a basketball game the other night. Dude's been rode hard and put away wet.

T-Mobile and Motorola are also co-sponsoring an auction for "gently used" Salisbury merkins.

@BigTenObsession: I don't want to know what was used for ink.

I would hate to see what picture of Salisbury they put on any plaque memorializing the event

@BowdenBowdenBowden: The Csonk, however, is clearly in

@Lady Andrea: Something tells me you didn't want to use that analogy in the Masturbate-athon post.

I wonder if I can get my High School to retire my jersey by giving them money? Nah, I already paid for the diploma, better not push my luck.

@BigTenObsession: And I've got a game-worn jersey of Little Sean, complete with actual stains. Beat that!

A game worn Salisbury Trojan Uniform ... you want to avoid coming into contact with that.

whoah. I read that first line really quickly as ESPN NFL "analrapist" and thought, "uh oh... what did he do now?" Clearly too much caffeine for me this morning, folks.

I'm guessing noone chooses to wear his number anyway.

Easy decision.

@Blackaces:

The e-bays has been kind to you, my friend.

Good thing most high schools won't let kids have their cell phones on during school.

Pfft, no way should Sean have his jersey retired before Touchdown Bundy.

4 TD's in one game!

To commemorate the occasion, the school cafeteria will be serving salisbury tube steak for lunch.

@Blackaces:
Monica Lewinsky thinks that is gross.

Al "Crazy Legs" Bundy was the greatest football player in Polk High history.

The best part will be when Sean acts all demure at the ceremony, then sheepishly admits "yeah, I guess I was a pretty great player for this high school," as the spectators and hot girls he previously paid off stand up one by one to clap, then eventually mob him on the field and carry him off toward the sex party for which he also previously paid. See how it's all a rich tapestry? Sean Salisbury does nothing halfway.

On a related note, how much cash does Rich Lederer have to raise to get Bert Blyleven enshrined at Cooperstown?

Sean, I think your whole shtick about sucking at quarterback and life in general is getting kind of old. If you keep mentioning those two facts to viewers all the time, don't you think eventually ESPN authorities will realize that they are the morons that hired your idioic butt?

BUT HIS DAD HAS CANCER!!!!!

@BigTenObsession: I saw that same .JPG of Salisbury's autographed unit. Must have used a super fine point pen.

Interestingly, I was sent an .MPG of Joselio Hanson's autographed junk. Starts out showing "JoHaRules."

Ends up saying "Joselio Hanson, Eagles Defensive Back, Swell Guy, and Fan of MTV's Road Rules"

Orange Glen High School: the only prostitute that ever loved Sean Salisbury.

@David_Hume:

REALLY? I wonder if Joselio reads my recaps at DeadOn?

Sean Salisbury is the worst QB in Super Tecmo Bowl so I can totally see why they retired his jersey.

Stand and Kenny think Salisbury is a bigger douche that John Edward. I tend to agree.

Clearly, Disney's attempt to get a piece of the lucrative Porky's audience.

I would guess this is all leading up to an ESPN Salisbury Sunday Night Movie and DVD.

@Suss--: Not so fast. Carmen Electra is the only name on my first ballot. Sean can wait.

@Suss--: Does Bill Nye make it first ballot?

He's going back to his high school? That explains the Nutrisystem ads.

They wanted him to donate more but he chewed them down.

He didn't WIN a Grey Cup, the BC Lions LOST it to a team he happened to quarterback.

Thanks for nothing, Matt Dunnigan.

Not that I'm bitter.