Deadspin
We're no experts on graphic design, or magazine picture quality, or anything like that — there are all kinds of things we're not experts in today — but we have to say, the new ESPN magazine internal redesign has us a little loopy.
This is the column mug shot — in electronic! — of our boy Bill Simmons. It's right next to his now-page-and-a-half column.
We're not sure what to say about this, except ... well, which "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out" character do you think he looks like the most? We're going with Soda Popinski ... with hair, of course.
But seriously: Does Simmons have a gap in his teeth we don't know about?
Comments
I drink to prepare for a fight. Tonight I am very prepared. Ha. Ha. Ha. by the way, Popinski has a mustache, Simmons does not. And frankly, SImmons would look child-molesterish if he had one.
You think that's creepy .. check out the Dan Patrick headshot in "Outtakes." I think they just airbrushed 30 years of his life away.
Stu Scott has them all beat. That digital mug scares the shit out of me.
He looks more like a white Mr. Sandman to me.
Those pictures gave me the heeby-jeebies the first time I saw 'em. The problem? They didn't stylize a photograph of, say, Bill Simmons' face. They stylized half the face, copied, pasted, reflected over the y-axis, and called it a day. Unfortunately, NOBODY has a symmetrical face. If you take a straight on photograph of somebody, split it down the middle, and build two separate pictures using each half, you'll have one that looks a bit off and one that looks like a damn serial killer. Anyway, that's pretty much why they all look demonic.
Looks like Little Mac as an adult. All we need now is Jason Whitlock to rub his shoulders and he'll be ready to go.
Simmons should grow the Adam Morrison 'stache. THAT would be child molester-ish.
Is there a special Punch-Out code I never learned where you can outfit Piston Honda with clothing from the Walt Jabsco collection? Maybe you had to use the Game Genie.
These photos remind me more of those lame ass Tecmo Super Bowl player "photos" then anything on Punch Out. Specifically Simmons photo reminds me of Tony Eason.
Don Flamenco
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