Deadspin
Some are calling University of Florida safety Tony Joiner a thief this morning, but we call him hero. All he was trying to do was liberate his girlfriend's car from a towing yard — a noble gesture — and when someone witnessed the maneuver, Joiner even stopped and waited around for the cops. To me this is no different than someone sneaking into a pet shop and releasing the parakeets. Leave him alone! He's a human being!
Tony Joiner, a senior safety and the only upperclassman among the Gators' starting defensive backs, was arrested by Gainesville police early Tuesday morning and charged with a second-degree felony for allegedly attempting to steal his girlfriend's car from a towing service's impound yard. Joiner was booked at 6:07 a.m. and later was released on his own recognizance, according to police reports. He is the eighth Florida football player in the past nine months to find legal trouble. Joiner did not practice with the team Tuesday and Florida coach Urban Meyer said that his starting strong safety would not practice with the team until "I find out everything.''
For decades, man has yearned to be free of the tyranny of the towing yard; it's tough to find free parking at a college or university, and people who run these corrupt towing operations are making money off of our misery. Now finally someone had the guts to do something about it. I say rush the impound lots and free all the cars!
UF Safety Joiner Charged With Theft [Miami Herald]
Comments
Who said chivalry is dead?
I'm with you... TO ARMS!
He should have consulted with his friends from Auburn
CRASH THE GATE!
Impound lots are the most ripoff.
Urban Meyer, private dick. He'll find out everything.
@Lady Andrea: He's also a very public dick.
Now finally someone had the guts to do something about it. I say rush the impound lots and free all the cars!
Immediately following this statement, Rick was recorded telling anyone who would listen that:
"I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this fucking face. Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you'll see this fucking face. I make that shit work. It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me."
He could've just had his roomate simply blow down the towing yard with a single breath, while simultaneously picking up the car with only his pinky finger.
Entitled college football players vs. scummy tow truck operators....
cab I just root for everyone to die?
He couldn't have waited until morning to contact a judge from the local UF alumni association?
"I want a fucking car right fucking NOW!"
He is the eighth Florida football player in the past nine months to find legal trouble.
The Bengals can stop scouting now. They can just get all their players for Florida from here on out.
By girlfriend, do you mean Tebow?
No worries, the towing company guy said it was a misunderstanding and won't press charges.
See, the UF boosters take care of our players
Florida coach Urban Meyer said that his starting strong safety would not practice with the team until "I find out everything.
Well Urban, it all started about 13.7 ± 0.2 billion years ago with the Big Bang (coincidentally also the name give to the Friday night party at the football dorm). Hey, you know...this is going to take awhile. Joiner, you should be practicing again around 2017.
I'm in the brute squad.
You are the brute squad.
Must...drink....Beck's....
Remember, one man's auto thief is another man's freedom fighter.
"He is the eighth Florida football player in the past nine months to find legal trouble"
They only need 1 more to reach the team goal!
Four straight National Championships! Two in hoops, one in football, and one in getting arrested. Whoooo!
The smarmy attendant at the impound lot told Joiner "What can I tell you buddy. Take it up with Consumer Affairs."
"He is the eighth Florida football player in the past nine months to find legal trouble"
Where did they arbitrarily come up with 9 months? Are we about to be blown away by a flood of Gator baby-daddys? I'll bet that's it...the paper is just setting this up.
Clearly the Fulmer Cup was in the backseat when the car was towed.
A-ha!! Click on the WORD Deadspin. I was contemplating a boycott of Becks.
I'm not advocating arson, but yes you should burn down every impound lot you can find
@ArkansasFred: Clearly the Fulmer Cup was in the backseat when the car was towed.
And the Fulmer grill, the Fulmer cooler, the Fulmer beer keg and the Fulmer box of Krispy Kremes.
Wally Joyner, however, you have free reign to kick his ass.
@StuScott Booyahs: How does one burn down a parking lot?
@ArkansasFred: Zooker must have sent it back to its spiritual home.
On the plus side, there is no sex better than "I just got released from prison trying to steal your car back and now you owe me for life" sex.
The only thing this guy is guilty of is having a ball-breaker as a girlfriend.
This was over a $76 towing bill... are boosters even trying anymore?
As much as I would love to bash the Gators, seems like this is a big misunderstanding that was taken too far. Of course, the misunderstanding was that of the impound lot attendants, who should have known Tony was a Gator Defensive Player. The company doesn't want to press charges, according to that Miami Herald article. Of course not! If Joiner doesn't play against LSU next week, that company will probably lose all their contracts!
(This is kettle calling pot black humor, folks. Enjoy!)
@FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns:
If it is an impound lot then by any means necessary.
Those people are spawns of satan. Even if you show up with cash in hand they make it as difficult and take as long as possible to get your car back. If the place would have been open when he went to get his girlfriends car back he probably would have been in more trouble due to them pissing him off and him going crazy on them.
Rural Meyer was upset when his player tried to steal a tractor.
"With their first pick in the 2008 draft, the Cincinnati Beagles select..."
Really, no one? Ok: Repo Man spends his life getting into intense situations!
I always ask those loathsome folks at impound lots how they sleep at night.
In case anyone's wondering how they actually sleep, most of them sleep pretty well. Stupid people usually do.
@Rory B. Bellows: Dammit, Bangles. The Cincinnati Bangles. I have to start proof-reading my posts.
...But was he tased?
@Rory B. Bellows: For all-female '80s pop bands?
You know what you do, you open that ass.
@FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns: the ####s have got to work somewhere
Bobby Bowden supports this decision to let Joiner play
@Lady Andrea: He's working with Bess Marvin, Girl Detective on this one. They will surely solve the mystery.
Crime is the only reason why USF is the top ranked in the state. Their players are married with kids. FSU players get in fights and cheat on tests. UF players get caught with weed and going after tow trucks, and Miami players shoot people. Those three schools still have the better athletes.
@FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns:
Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
@Slothrop: Do you think that Bud, Otto and Lite were there?
@Locker Room Guise: They sleep upside down, hanging from a branch, or in a coffin. Bastards.
from the Gainesville Sun....
"The owner of the property, Stan Forron, said he left the gate open when he left Watson's Towing at 3 a.m. and doesn't understand why police arrested Joiner. Forron said he is going to urge the State Attorney's Office to drop the charges. Forron said Joiner had made arrangements to pay the towing bill and pick up the car Tuesday morning, but that Joiner showed up later than expected and the Watson's Towing employee on duty at the time was not in the office.
"I don't understand why this kid was arrested," said Forron, who owns two other towing companies in Gainesville. "I've been paid; I've been made good. I'm not interested in pursuing charges. It's all a miscommunication.
"One of the dispatchers knew (Joiner) was coming. My employee was in the break room and I'd left the gate open. It's like going to a restaurant to eat and you go to the cashier to pay and no one is there. Eventually, you're going to walk out."
Forron said he's been in the towing business for 20 years and has never heard of anyone getting arrested for stealing their own car from a compound lot.
"I don't remember that ever happening," he said. "A girl stole her car from the lot about three weeks ago and she wasn't arrested. Why would they arrest this kid?"
- obviously he's more worried about the LSU game than $80. rightfully so.
Can someone parse this sentence for me?
"I don't remember that ever happening," he said. "A girl stole her car from the lot about three weeks ago and she wasn't arrested. Why would they arrest this kid?"
@mlmintampa: and--leave us not forget--Florida International has the immortal Ned!
But...but...I need to know!! Did he save the lemon tree??
A perfect moment in life for me would be to "steal" my car back from a scumyard with either a guy like Tony Joiner or someone his size behind my back...Just once.
BD
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