Phil Mickelson Is Not A Wooden-Shafted Legend

I had no idea that song had words. I liked it better before I discovered that earlier in the week ... and I didn't like it much then. It's nothing personal, but I want to beat that guy to death with a 9-iron.

Anyway, Phil Mickelson was decent enough not to tease us with any thoughts that he might contend in today's final round at The Masters. He was actually in decent enough shape to start the day, at +6, just four back of the leaders. He wasted no time eliminating himself from any hope of contention today, though, triple-bogeying the first hole and relieving me of the nightmare of having sit through an afternoon of his fake-ass smile.

The leaders have yet to tee off, but the scores today generally don't seem as outrageously high as yesterday. Sandy Lyle, Angel Cabrera, and Freddy Couples are all going to have under-par rounds already, whereas there was only one subpar round all of yesterday. They must've watered the course, made the pin placements a little easier, and removed all windmills from the greens.

The Official Site of the Masters Tournament [Masters.org]

3:15 PM on Sun Apr 8 2007
By MJD
1,103 views
13 comments

Comments

Spectacular Sam at 02:23 PM on 04/08/07
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You'll still get to see the fake-ass smile when he puts the green jacket on Tiger.
Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner at 02:26 PM on 04/08/07
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Connectedness Index: 320

Which I'm sure is of great disappointment to Mrs. Mickelson.
Analrapist at 02:26 PM on 04/08/07
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I have it on good authority that Phil Mickelson is Mark Grace like in his off field smoking, drinking, gambling, and womanizing. The difference being when Gracey did it, he didn't hide it, but Phil acts like the perfect gentlemen/lovable loser.
Suss-- at 02:28 PM on 04/08/07
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"I want to beat that guy to death with a 9-iron."

Hmm. That's probably too much loft for blunt force trauma. Try the 6-iron.
Len Bias Cocaine Surplus at 02:31 PM on 04/08/07
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No, no Suss. You use the 3 iron so even his ancestors can feel it
DennyCrane at 02:37 PM on 04/08/07
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I have a wooden-shafted legend ... IN MY PANTS!!

/????
Blackguard at 02:40 PM on 04/08/07
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John Daly would like to offer his zero-degree driving iron. Vijay will witness the beating and then deny it ever happened.
Mike Pigott at 02:41 PM on 04/08/07
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Who's the golf choking dick that's a money machine to Mrs. Mick?

Phil!

You damn right.
GiselleBeardchen at 02:46 PM on 04/08/07
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If AnalRapist has it in good authority--that's good with me
chilltown at 02:55 PM on 04/08/07
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If anyone besides Tiger is going to win today, it will be Zach Johnson or Retief Goosen. But it'll probably be tiger.
Blackguard at 02:55 PM on 04/08/07
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So, Phil = Shooter McGavin or is it Phil = David Simms?
Abe Froman at 03:09 PM on 04/08/07
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even a-rod thinks mickelson is a choker.
Capt.Insano at 07:01 PM on 04/08/07
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@ Chilltown; excellent guess, Zach Johnson just won the Masters. He won in spite of slipping on some sputum left over from a certain left hander..