Deadspin
We have to say, it's pretty awesome that on the night each of them reached a career milestone that assured they will be in Hall of Fame, Frank Thomas and Craig Biggio did something stupid/embarrassing within a matter of minutes.
First, Thomas. He hit his 500th homer yesterday and celebrated by ... being thrown out of the game for arguing a strike call late. This reminded us of that stupid Billy Crystal movie in which he throws Kareem Abdul-Jabbar out of his farewell game. Excellently played, Frank.
But not nearly as much fun as Biggio. You have to love a guy who, while notching his 3,000th hit, gets so excited that he runs into an obvious out at second base trying to stretch it to a double.
We salute these men, who displayed the sports equivalent of Miss America falling down right after receiving her crown.
Thank You Craig Biggio [Crawfish Boxes]
First The Achievement, Then The Disappointment [Jays Nest]
Comments
He just wanted to come home and hug Bagwell.
Mrs. Biggio clearly loves her husband.
You sure about that HoF thing?
I have a nightmare in which I win the Indy 500 then crash on the victory lap.
Let's try and see Biggio try and stretch some more HBP's into two bases, that'd be something.
@Gawker Media Presents: PeteJäyhawk™: Seriously, maybe that's just some woman they dragged out of the stands.
Neither are as funny as George Brett getting picked off first base after his 3,000th hit.
When Jose Cruz points to second base, you get your ass to second base.
Craig Biggio is the midget Kenny Irons carries around.
/threadjack
NFL Europa was just folded. Both of the Hamburg Sea Devils fans must now return to a life of crime.
/threadjack
Mrs. Biggio definitely tore something on her way out there. That is not a face full of joy.
What was Jennifer Aniston doing at an Astros game? And why is Craig molesting her?
It looks like he just hit her for the 3,000 time.
@Phatty: says you.
There was also a bench-clearing brawl in a single A game last night. Good times, good times.
The movie is Forget Paris and it is american cinema at its finest.
@Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!:
My USS (swimming) team back in high school was called the Sea Devils. They could probably use some fan support.
It's kind of like writing a humorous yet insightful post, then immediately fucking it up with a Forget Paris reference
@propaniac:
The real wife probably hasn't attended another game since getting beaten up by White Sox fans during the '05 series.
@Phatty: He gave her a face full of joy later on that night.
Splat.
@Juancho: Yup
@mamacita:
Goddamn right. Don't question Cheo.
Biggio is one of my brushes with greatness. I played baseball against him in High School and summer ball. Yes I am old. If his wife aint happt with him, there are about 30 women in Kings Park (hometown) that would be glad for another shot.
@crazyjoedavola: I think they'd have to get past Texas Gal first. If I ever meet Biggio, I'll just back away slowly.
@crazyjoedavola: How awesome was he?
Which one is Craig Biggio?
@crazyjoedavola: I knew a guy who played against Chipper Jones in HS and went deep off him when he was pitching. Apparently Jone was nigh-unstoppable back in the day.
Well, Thomas was quite right in arguing that called strike below the knees, as the ump had screwed him over on the previous at-bat by calling him out on a way-high ball. Biggio, on the other hand, just got a little excited (Personally, I say if you get thrown out at second trying to leg it out, it shouldn't count as a hit, but that's just me).
@Camp Tiger Claw: I'm pretty sure he's the one on the right with his hand cupping the ball-boys breast
@Will: I thought you were going to talk about Bidge bringing out Bagwell to celebrate with him. I don't know if I've ever seen Bagwell look more uncomfortable. I was kinda embarrassed for him.
On the plus side, last night's game was exactly why I love baseball. Bidge embarrasses himself by going for two, but then bottom of the 11th, two outs, he hits a weak grounder to short and runs it out for an infield single to keep the game alive (and start the rally that would lead to a W). There aren't too many 41 year olds who would do that.
Anyone who doesn't think that Biggio is a HoF'er can eat a bag of donkey dicks.
Craig Biggio always looked like one of Donald Duck's nephews in his batting helmet.
Biggio's heart will always be in L.I.
Dude, dude, kid.
What? Oh...
No, dude, kid.
So we're really cutting back on those everyone-agreed-they-really-suck "more" posts, huh? Great way to ruin a Friday, Will. Thanks.
Although I must admit that I admire your brazen willingness to ignore the needs and desires of the masses. Reminds me of, well, me.
@quick:
Anyone who doesn't think that Biggio is a HoF'er can eat a bag of donkey dicks.
What would this bag of dicks look like? Would it be like a paper bag full of baguettes?
Neither of those beat what happen to Clemente after his 3,000th hit -- HE FUCKING DIED IN AN AIRPLANE CRASH.
Sorry, I get emotional. His 3,000th hit was the last hit of his career/life.
@DamnSkippy: Oh, and it was a double -- take that Biggio!
@Lady Andrea:
You got my money?
I just posted this in the Atlanta comments section of your Pants Party site.
[atlanta.braves.mlb.com]
The Braves are offering all you can eat and drink(Bud and Bud Light) for $60 plus a fee for the 8/3 game. I think some of us could get our money's worth out of it. Would that be something you all would be interested in?
Re Crystal and Kareem--that is the single funniest exchange in sports movie history:
"But this is my farewell game!"
"Well, let me be the first to say--farewell!"
@wes mantooth: I imagine it would be like a bag of Joselio Hanson.
@SlickBomb:
I know someone who batted against Cris Carpenter in high school. He one hit them. The only hit was an infield single.
Bigs cut his teeth in Jersey, and currently resides here, so i pretty much have to love him. plus, his wife is the daughter of one of my former bosses.
one of my childhood friends played OF for the braves for a season, he tried to teach me how o pitch but he had about a 90mph fastball when i was 13, well then he got traded to that armpit of hell otherwise known as Oakland and disappeared from the majors... and well the braves got tim hudson...
@UkraineNotWeak: Interested in? That's like a dream come true. All you can drink at a Braves game?
I look at that as a challenge rather than a deal.
@gjdodger: That might be the single biggest stretch in sports blog history (irony intended).
@wes mantooth:
Are you posting from the Mohegian Sun Casino right now, Mr. CK?
@UkraineNotWeak: Plus a fee? Like, per beer? Because that wouldn't work.
@Matt_T:
I figure most who would attend would go for it considering that the cost of the seat is half of it and with what beer and BBQ cost at a Brave game, you'd have it covered in no time. The only thing I suggest is that we each order our tickets individually and try to get them all in the same section and rows. I don't know if via online, the Braves allow you to pick your seat. They may offer you best available. For me to buy 25 tickets at once, would mean laying out over $1500 and then getting reimbursed.
@Diddly:
Just on the purchase of the ticket. I think it $3. They give you a wristband to indicate all you can eat/drink and you have your own concession stand.
@UkraineNotWeak: That sounds like a good idea to me. Lexus level is nice too. The skeptic in me thinks there's a catch for all you can drink.
@Matt_T:
The only thing I can see is they limit you to four items per concession visit.
@UkraineNotWeak: Since it's all you can drink, can you start pounding as soon as they finish the first one? That way, ideally, you don't get to 4 for quite some time.
@Diddly:
Beats me.