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During a moment of boredom last week, we caught an episode of that "Tell Me That You Love Me" show on HBO On Demand. We think it might be the most annoying television show we've ever seen. Basically, it's just a bunch of rich white people complaining about How We Just Don't Communicate The Way We Used To. You want to take every single one of them and slap them until they stop bitching. The show should run directly after "The Wire," just to prove how goddamned awful suburban white people are. (I have this beautiful house and car and wife and children and job ... WHY CAN'T I BE HAPPY?) Ugh. God, it's the worst. Anyway, the next time someone on that show starts whining to their therapist about how they feel "marginalized" by their spouse, we suggest they just listen to the words of wisdom of Gilbert Arenas.
Because Gilbert knows how how you settle relationship disagreements with your lady.
So we was on 16th and Constitution and she kicked me out of the car and I had to walk all the way to the gym. It was probably a mile, but I had on smaller shoes. You know, I wear 13s, but I had on 12s because they matched the outfit I was wearing so my feet were hurting and I didn't have any cab money to take a cab and that all played a part.
So I went on a strike.
I think all men should do this when they have a disagreement. This is Relationship 101. When you have a fight with "the other," don't answer their calls and don't answer their pages. That usually gets the point across that you're not talking to them. So, I held out for seven days. I went on strike for seven days and stayed at the gym for seven days. I slept in the gym. They got nice couches in there and it just kept me in the gym working on my knee and stuff.
Arenas then explains how that's why he missed an EA Sports promotional event in Toronto; his passport was at home, and because he was "on strike," he couldn't go home and get it. We full expect Gilbert to have his own syndicated advice talk show at some point. We'd surely watch it more than that HBO crap.
Relationships 101 [Gilbert Arenas' Blog]
Comments
Obama/Arenas '08
/bears repeating
@Unsilent Majority: I'd commit voter fraud for that ticket.
I tried that once, but my wife called in a scab.
I am the Sex Cannon. I am the Sex Cannon.
/repeating bear
sure it was a terrible show, but there was a ton of nudity and that is enough for me sometimes
Ian Edwards told this joke funnier.
Gilbert Arenas GUARANTEES this will improve your relationship.
The only thing worse than that show is having your sig. other keep hitting you in the shoulder all throughout saying "you're that guy." Yeah, so what if I don't feel like talking right when I get home from work. I need drink and food, then we'll cuddle. Jeez. Women.
Who wants to sex Arenas?
Hey, white people have problems too, you know.
What union is this? Pipefitters?
Zing!
What a coincidence! I sleep at my gym too. God bless the fine men and women at the YMCA.
@LingeringBursitis:
Jamie Foxx thinks this is just another example of rampant white-on-white violence.
White people suck.
I think it's very irresponsible when men just bottle up their feelings like that. By being afraid to exhibit emotion, Gilbert denied his true feelings that could have let to a swifter and more peaceful resolution to this issue.
Then again, that's what you get for letting that bitch drive...
Does cousin Javier employ this same practice in Tuscaloosa?
@LingeringBursitis:
They sure do.
Gilbert Arenas would kick her out of bed for eating crackers.
how to deal with a lady
My name is Gilbert Arenas, and to those of you that are uninitiated, I am an expert in the ways of love. I have made love to many fine ladies from the lowliest bus station skank to the classiest most sophisticated, educated, debutant, high society... bus station skank.
Derek Jeter would never go on strike. He's only half black.
/Gary Sheffield
in happier news from HBO , the season of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" was on last night.
Did we mention that it was borderline pornographic? Not that there's anything whrong with that, but I like to keep my porn and HBO series separate. I get so confused!
Oh Dream On... wherefore art thou Brian Benben?
What happens when management decides to do a lockout while you're on strike?
How did this devolve into racial comment theatre again? Is that where every thread leads to?
@ilovetoscore: Dream On...that was a great show for a 10 year old boy...
@A Boy Named Ndamukong Suh: Hey, I was really pissed when my local newsagent had run out of copies of the Economist.
Basically, it's just a bunch of rich white people complaining about How We Just Don't Communicate The Way We Used To. You want to take every single one of them and slap them until they stop bitching. The show should run directly after "The Wire," just to prove how goddamned awful suburban white people are. (I have this beautiful house and car and wife and children and job ... WHY CAN'T I BE HAPPY?)
I hear ya. I tired of white people always complaining when they don't realize how good they have it. I mean, when was the last time a white person had to wait an hour and thirty two minutes for a plate of spaghetti?
"I wear 13s, but I had on 12s because they matched the outfit I was wearing so my feet were hurting."
Gilbert Arenas = slave to fashion
Gilbert288.jpeg
Do you really have that many pics of Agent Zero Will?
@Little Wooden Boy: Well, what do you have on your ceiling...just plain paint?
Mind of a Married Man caused a fight every week between Mrs Crazy Joe and myself.
Wait, why was he wearing smaller shoes? Why not just buy a bigger pair that matches your outfit. You have the man Gilbert.
Also, better show with a ton of nudity:
Californication.
DeShawn Stevenson tried to go on strike for a week, but he could only make it six days before Gil taunted him off the rec room couch at the gym and back home.
Will, aren't you discrimnating against your own kind? "Rich white people"? Don't you receive a hefty paycheck from Gawker?
@Upstate Underdog: I don't get that. GA should not be forced to buy a pair of undersized shoes. Its a travamockasham that famous NBA stars don't have direct hotlines to the major sneaker manufacturers and full access to historic and current catalogs.
What the hell kind of screwed up world do we live in?
@crazyjoedavola: Wait, you watched that garbage? No wonder you fought.
Soooo Gil. You went on strike for a week, but you let her continue to live in your home and use your credit cards? Jesus, you're the worst labor represenative since Gene Upshaw.
@MitchKayak: Agreed. Thankfully Mia isn't really underage, so I don't feel bad about it.
Who am I kidding? I wouldn't feel bad.
@LingeringBursitis: "Oh no, my lips are chapped."
/Chris Rock bit about teen suicide
@ilovetoscore: I kept checking the DirecTV guide to make sure I hadn't accidentally put on Cinemax.
@The Fake Gimel Martinez: agreed.
@Moobs: That was my half of the fight. There is always the one show that you gotta watch with the wife. Last year it was Grey's Anatomy. Thankfully I put out both of my eyes with bamboo skewers, so no more bad tv for me.
@Port City Gangsta: also from that bit, "my car's a Nova, Wham is breaking up"
@ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos: Showtime wants to wear his red shoes?
@Upstate Underdog: Or he is channeling his inner-geisha with the feet binding.
I want to know how big his woman is that she could kick him out of the car though.
basically the moral of this is that rich people are crazy regardless of color. and damn, i want to be crazy too.
@Moobs: @crazyjoedavola:
That show was lame. They should've titled it Mind of the Married Man as Seen Through the Mind of a Woman.
If Travis Henry went on strike, the entire economy of greater Atlanta would go into a recession.
@TheStarterWife: The last thing Gil heard as the car drove away was, "Be sure and tell 'em Large Marge sent ya! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Now that's what I call a pick-n-roll.
My suburban, Cuban/Nicaraguan roommate is just as insufferable. The suburbs are indiscriminate in their wrath. (What's wrong with track housing and strip malls??? I like Pei Wei.)
Couldn't agree more. I (un)affectionately refer to this sub-genre as "White People With Problems". As if they're entitled to happiness without actually doing anything about it. And on another note Gilbert Arenas continues to prove himself to be about the only reason to pay attention to basketball anymore.
Barbaro is on strike.....FOREVER.
Yet somehow I like this show. Weird.
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