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jesus rides
Dee Mirich Cranks Out The Classic Of All Classics
Many of us have wondered why prolific message board poet Dee Mirich has remained silent on the tragic Eight Belles Kentucky Derby accident. After all, when Barbaro fell, you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting one of her offerings. But now all is clear: Ms. Mirich had been working feverishly on her magnum opus; a poem that would resonate through the vast reaches of time, perfectlly capturing the mood of a nation. More »
could jesus stop didier?
Drogba Blows Kisses, Hirshey Blows
Didier Drogba and Chelsea just finished off Arsenal at the Bridge 2-1, moving the home team in to second on the table. Drogba scored two goals in the second half to bring the Blues back from a one goal deficit. Chelsea now stands just five points shy of Manchester, and speaking of them... More »
mascot fights make baby jesus cry
What started off as a friendly dance-off between a jaguar and an eagle — which you see so often in the wild — turned grim and frightening on Wednesday during a break in this Summit League Championship basketball game. IUPUI's mascot, Jawz the Jaguar, grapples with Oral Roberts' Eli the Eagle, and it would have been to the death, if not for these brave security guards. More »
Jawz The Jaguar Vs. Eli The Eagle: This Isn't Over!
What started off as a friendly dance-off between a jaguar and an eagle — which you see so often in the wild — turned grim and frightening on Wednesday during a break in this Summit League Championship basketball game. IUPUI's mascot, Jawz the Jaguar, grapples with Oral Roberts' Eli the Eagle, and it would have been to the death, if not for these brave security guards. More »
purple jesus cant take this one from me
All-Star Celeb Game Lacking Game, Celebs
If you missed the NBA All-Star Celebrity Game last night, it's probably because you have a life. Here's a quick recap: More »
release baby jesus unharmed or else!
About Last Night
What you missed while tracking tiny infant Jesus via satellite ...
• NBA: And up on the rim there arose such a clatter, I awoke from my coma to see what was the matter. Lakers 122, Suns 115.
• Brett Favre wins USSA Male Athlete of the Year, narrowly beating Tom Brady and Nightmare Ant ...
• Horse racing: Horse lovers are saddened today at the death of trainer Dale Baird; but not too saddened, because it's not like he was an actual horse or anything ...
spurrier, wuerffel, tebow
Tebow Wins Heisman, Loves Jesus
I didn't watch the Heisman Trophy presentation show (what's the point?) but I've been assured that Tim Tebow did in fact win. As a Gator fan of some 20 years I'm quite happy for Superman, but I'm not going to bludgeon you over the head with my homerism the way Tebow does with all of that god talk. Of course it's hard to fault the young man for being so god damned pious and humble off of the field. The pimp-ish quarterback/superhero became the first sophomore to ever win the award that all but cements his future.Tebow, who beat contenders Darren McFadden, Colt Brennan, and Chase Daniel for the award to become the first sophomore to win the trophy, said he plans on entering the clergy now that his career as an athlete is done.More »
purple jesus
Peterson Breaks Rushing Record, Transubstantiates
Forget about rookie records, Adrian Peterson is going after bigger game. It's taken Minnesota's first-year wunderkind a mere eight attempts to break the NFL's record for rushing in a game. The 296 yard eruption led the Vikings to a 35-17 flattening of the San Diego Chargers and put Peterson over the thousand yard mark at the halfway point of the season. Of course it wouldn't be a truly holy day without a few pilgrimages to the holy land.
9:00 AM on Mon Nov 5 2007
By Unsilent Majority
9,021 views,
34 comments
world series game 3
Once In a Blue Moon
The World Series has finally come to the hallowed grounds of Coors Field and Denver is welcoming the Red Sox with balmy 36 degree weather. It's Dice-K vs. Fogg and they're both going to be wielding the half-frozen lumber. Terry Francona has opted to hold Kevin Youkilis' bat and glove, somebody should probably tell him that Shabbat is over. Regardless, he's sure to see the field at some point. This is basically Colorado's last chance to create a worthwhile series and my breath is bated. Enjoy the game and the special WSG3DUAN.
nlds pt. 2
Major League Baseball's only team with an official religious affiliation is moving on to their first National League Championship Series. Although it's a new level of baseball for the young franchise there will be a sense of familiarity with their opponent. With Arizona and Colorado each sweeping their way through the NLDS we're guaranteed to see a team from the NL West hoisting the pennant.
More »
Rockies Sweep, Just As They Prayed For
Major League Baseball's only team with an official religious affiliation is moving on to their first National League Championship Series. Although it's a new level of baseball for the young franchise there will be a sense of familiarity with their opponent. With Arizona and Colorado each sweeping their way through the NLDS we're guaranteed to see a team from the NL West hoisting the pennant.
More »
touchdown jesus wept
Roll Over And Die Like A Champion
We're not sure if we can contribute that much more to the pile-on that has become discussion of the 2007 Notre Dame Fighting Irish and coach Charlie Weis ... but we're gonna try. More »
touchdown jesus disapproves
Solicit Like A Champion
We know that Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis is infinitely more popular than Tyrone Willingham ever was (even though they have pretty much the same record at the university). But it's possible he was paying too much attention to his gastric bypass surgery than his players' well-being, because one of them just got busted for picking up a prostitute. Well, actually, a police officer who was pretending to be a prostitute. More »
jesús es mi coche del balompié
What if Mel Gibson had been a soccer fan instead of, you know, nuts? He might have made a movie that went a little something like this. More »
Spanish Soccer Commercials Are Weird
What if Mel Gibson had been a soccer fan instead of, you know, nuts? He might have made a movie that went a little something like this. More »
Here's The Dugout's take on what happened when Rod Beck arrived in Heaven. That Jesus; he's such a card. [The Dugout]
also, diving will now be called 'jesus stumblies'
When Every Match Is A Friendly
We don't claim to know a lot about soccer,* but we believe that the Romanians are really on to something here. Hoping to stamp out hooliganism at his matches, Steaua Bucharest owner Gigi Becali will from now on play only religious music at the team's home stadium. But that's not all. More »
barbaro
He Has Risen, And Is Demanding Oats
You know, we mocked the Barbaro message boarders when they claimed that Big Boss Horse was appearing to them from the afterlife. Yeah, we had a good laugh over that. But then a reader got to looking closely at our Jesus bowling post from last week, and made a startling discovery. Just look at the image above, without clicking on it, and tell us that you don't see Christ morphing into the ghostly head and neck of everyone's favorite three-legged racehorse (complete with mane). More »
bowling
Spare Me, Oh Lord
To be absolutely truthful, this video really confuses us. Why is everyone laughing? Why would anyone think that Jesus would throw anything but a strike? Religion generally confuses us, but one thing we're pretty sure of: The Son of God has his own equipment ... Jesus does not rent bowling shoes. We'd also be quite surprised to see Him carrying around his beer with his index finger stuck in the mouth of the bottle. More »
soccer
