Deadspin
After the Lions' loss to the Packers yesterday, reporters asked Detroit quarterback Jon Kitna what he was thankful for. As everybody now knows, Kitna wears his Christianity on his sleeve. And we really have no problem with that.
But we can't help but question the motivation for all that faith, after we read what Kitna said he's thankful for.
Lions quarterback Jon Kitna on what he's most thankful for: "That I don't have to go to hell."
We don't know if Kitna's next comment was, "Unlike SOME people" while eyeing the reporter warily ... but man, we hope so. Because nothing says love and devotion than doing something because you're afraid you'll be tortured for eternity if you don't.
What Jon Kitna Is Thankful For [The World Of Isaac]
Comments
This just means he has a no trade clause to Buffalo and Cleveland.
You know what's really good after Thanksgiving? Marathon Warioware session with 4 year old nephew.
Well it's nice he won't have to go to hell but a lot of Lions fans appear to be there right now.
Jon,
If you don't start putting up better numbers, we'll find out where you really are going.
After playing in Barcelona, Seattle, Cincinnati and Detroit, you could argue that he's already been through hell.
Bold words for a guy who works every Sunday.
"Amen, brother."
-Charlie Ward
As opposed to the paradise called Detroit he finds himself in now?
I don't have to go to hell either. And it didn't cost me 10% of my earnings or any guilt.
Peter: "Thanks, Jesus!"
Jesus: "No, wait, it wasn't me, it was..."
Krishna: "That's OK. I'm used to it."
@twoeightnine:
+1
The greatest thing about being a non-believer is that if there isn't a heaven then there can't be a hell either.
So his God approves of dressing like a naked man to make fun of a drunk? Sweet! Sign me up!
Man, that quote is a comedy pyramid waiting to happen.
"Koren Robinson, I'm looking in your direction."
- "I'm your Hell director, and it looks like we have 8,615 of you newbies here today. And for those of you who were a little confused, ummmm..., you are dead, and this is Hell. So, abandon all hope, and yada, yada, yada. We're now going to start the orientation process which will last about..."
- "Hey, wait a minute! I shouldn't be here! I was a totally strict and devout Protestant! I thought we went to Heaven!"
- "Yes, well I'm afraid you were wrong."
- "I was a practicing Jehova's Witness!"
- "You picked the wrong religion as well."
- "Well who was right? Who gets into Heaven?"
- "I'm afraid it was the Mormons. Yes, Mormons was the correct answer."
@Camp Tiger Claw:
+1
Do you think Mike Martz works his Saved quarterbacks like Mrs. Iselin?
"Why don't you pass the time reading the Good Book?"
@twoeightnine: @jwaves: A-men (pun intended.)
You know what I'm thankful for? Having the over on both halves of yesterday's game.
@UkraineNotWeak: God bless us, everyone.
God: Thou hast forsaken My Church!
Homer: Uh, kind-of... b-but...
God: But what!
Homer: I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
God: [pause] Hmm... You've got a point there.
@WWKD? - Fred Willard? WTF?: "Does St. Louis still have a team?"
"Nah, they moved to Phoenix."
As the Quarterback of the Detroit Lions he should be thankful for when Farve retires and they turn the keys over to Aaron Rogers. However, Rogers will probably be 35 before this happens and Kitna will have already ascended from the 50 yard line to Heaven after a glorious 3 yard scramble with Michael Strahan's Antler-Teeth on the other end.
If by "going to hell" he means unapoletically having sex with your girlfriend at her office during lunch breaks...
Well then frankly I must go a seperate way from one Jon Kitna.
@Adonis:
unapoletically having sex
Hey, the unapole is my move!
@jwaves: hey, i'm a believer and I think he'll's a sham, too. the ELCA is cool like that.
I would also be thankful that green bay only used one fist.
Filed under: Lions, DetroitLions quarterback Jon Kitna had this to say on Thanksgiving when a reporter asked him what he's most thankful for:"That I don't have to go to hell."
Apparently Kitna feels confident in making this statement now that NFL Europa is out of business.
FROM SPORTS.AOL.COM:
+1
@Gourmet Spud: You're supposed to end with the swirl?
@Gourmet Spud: Iracane must really be on vacation. You can say whatever you like, people. Go wild.
@chilltown:
Is Suss here? If so, I'm scared...TETRIS RETURNS!
@chilltown:
So, my fantasy team is 3-8 right now, and I need a BIG week out of Earnest Graham if I have a hope at making the playoffs.
What, no love for Earnest Graham?
I think we all may be missing the point. He said he doesn't "have" to go to hell, but hey, it's an option if he gets bored.
Iracane's on vacation? In that case, YOU STAY CLASSY AOLSPORTS AutoBlog
John Kitna:"I don't have to go to hell."
::
Titanic:"Unsinkable!"
@Camp Tiger Claw: +1
They're having the Superbowl in Hell this year? I knew the Pats had a great shot at home field advantage, but...
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