As you're probably well aware, the Red Hawks lost on a buzzer beater by uber-frosh John Wall, even though they led by as many as 18 points early in the game. Some might see that as a moral victory. Others, a terrible debacle. Those two viewpoints collided during the post-game press conference.

"I can't believe you asked that .... Let me see here, Kentucky Wildcats, number-four in the country, I'm hearing four first-round draft choices, and you're asking me how that got away from me? Why don't you ask John why it was so close? I'm not going to answer that question man.

The dressing down continued, but just enjoy it yourself. There's no coach quite like an angry, disrespected coach.

Charlie Coles Can Sometimes Get a Little Touchy [WKYT, via Brooks]

* * * * *

Well, I'm off to the Ranger game. Ovechkin's (hopefully) in town, so the locals might be interested in that. Barry P. is on deck. Enjoy the evening.

The crux of the matter is this: Kentucky hired lover/fighter Gillispie away from Texas A&M two years ago (at the "pinnacle of a meteoric rise"), under the agreement that he would sign a seven-year contract. If he was fired "without cause" during the life of that contract, he would get $1.5 million a year for at least four more years. Except he never actually signed a formal employment contract, despite working there for two full seasons, so Kentucky says they don't owe him jack.

However, Gillispie did sign a "Memorandum of Understanding" which laid out that basic outline of his employment—years, dollars, incentives, and such—and he claims that the MOU is as good as a contract and that Kentucky treated is as such, since everyone was dragging their feet on the real contract. I'm not a lawyer, so I don't know if a two-page letter is binding, but his argument does sort of make sense. On the other hand, sign the damn contract already.

Lawsuit highlights below (click to embiggen) or you can read the whole thing here (opens in PDF)

Gillispie seeks millions in suit against UK's Athletics Association [Lexington Herald Leader]
Gillispie Sues UK [Online Sports Guys]

DeMarcus Cousins, one of the coach's prize commitments when he was still working for the Tigers, has changed that commitment and now says he will attend Kentucky. Well, ain't that a kick a pants. Their other top recruit, Xavier Henry, has also "reopened" his recruiting even though—unlike Cousins—he had already signed a letter of intent to play at Memphis. Kids are so crafty these days. He may not follow Calipari to Lexington, but rumor has it that the only way Memphis holds on to him is if new coach Josh Pastner gives Henry's dad a job in the basketball program, which believe it or not, is totally allowed under NCAA rules. I believe the word you're looking for is "integrity."

If Henry bolts to Kansas or Kentucky, his older brother C.J. (a walk-on at Memphis) will probably leave too. He's not on scholarship because he's actually under contract to the New York Yankees, who are paying for his schooling even though he apparently gave up on baseball last year. He didn't play a single minute this season, but it doesn't matter because he was only there to lure Xavier anyway.

Add in the loss of freshman Tyreke Evans to the NBA (who probably would have left anyway), the winningest senior class ever, and Facebook princess Megan Calipari and the school will be seriously lacking in talent next year. And all because Billy Gillispie can't handle halftime interviews. What a world.

UK lands Cousins [The Courier-Journal]
DeMarcus Cousins to Kentucky [Rush The Court]
Memphis not hiring recruit's father [Lawrence Journal-World]
Memphis grants recruit Xavier Henry release [Sporting News]
Wall weighs hefty decision [News Observer]

Kentucky athletic director Mitch Barnhart began the introductory press conference by reading Calipari's entire resume in an effort to convince himself that giving his basketball coach an eight-year, $31 million contract was a totally justified financial maneuver. Then Calipari spent most of the morning explaining to Kentucky fans that their favorite team probably won't go undefeated next season. He explained his coaching style (basically, "recruit talent and let them do whatever they want") and dropped as many old school hoops names as he possibly could to let everyone know he GETS IT. He's a family man. His wife tutors kids! His grandparents came through Ellis Island!!!! Why can't you see how freakin' humble this guy is?

So yeah, Kentucky is the new Memphis and if they're not in the Final Four in two years they'll be calling for his head.

Calipari embraces the Blue [Lexington Herald-Leader]

Because when you have a un-moderated chatroom filled with bored trolls trying to out-jackass each other, introducing an attractive young woman to the proceedings is probably not the best way to soothe tensions. Naturally, discussion turned to disgusting acts involving her eyes, most of them a felony in Tennessee, that certain chat members would like to perform on said reporter—or any live female who might actually acknowledge their existence.

That poor woman.

Of course, it just devolved from there. Some other choice comments from the evening, can be seen below:

Brilliant stuff. Anyway, the web cam is back on the door today and it seems to have rained last night. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!! Can't Les Smith (a.k.a., Anonymous Black Guy Reporter) bring some sanity to this mess. He's only been sitting in a parking lot for two days trying to decipher thousands of internet rumors and disinformation. Just moments ago, he reported that Calipari is saying goodbye to his staff right now! Memphis students are marching in protest! The wheels are in motion!

THIS JUST IN:

The latest contract rumor from ESPN is that the Kentucky offer is just about $4 million per for eight years, but the Memphis boosters are currently holding a bake sale to try and raise enough cash to please John Calipari's mighty urges. Kentucky will not be denied, Tiger fans. It's time to let it go. You don't hear the video crew forced to sit outdoors for 48 hours complaining, do you?

Actually, maybe you can. The mic is still on.

Source: John Calipari contemplates taking Kentucky Wildcats job [ESPN]
Live Stream 1 and Instant Chat [MyFox Memphis]

Rumors are flying all over the internet and talk radio about the potential offer Kentucky has made to Tiger coach John Calipari. Six years, eight years; four million, six million, box seats to the Derby, a new pony to ride in the Derby. The only thing they all agree on is that there is no way he turns the Wildcats down. His departure from Memphis has been all but confirmed (they are already talking about Missouri's Mike Anderson as his successor), although the University has yet to say anything. I'm guessing that there will be an official announcement sometime this evening, probably right at the moment when sportswriters all over the Eastern Time Zone are trying to sneak out of their newsrooms so they can go to dinner.

Also, included in the rumors is that Calipari will be taking his entire staff with him to Lexington and (most likely) his recruits for next year, including all-world guard John Wall, who is not officially signed.

In the meantime, you can stare at this door. I guess Calipari is supposed to be behind it somewhere and will soon emerge carrying two canvas sacks with dollar bill signs on them, but no one knows for sure. (His car is in the parking lot! It's white!) The only thing I do know is that the wild west chat room next to the picture is endlessly entertaining. Such colorful language! Plus, the guys running the camera are clearly losing their minds. Good times on the internet fun machine.

Door Becomes Internet Star in Calipari Drama [Sporting Blog]
Credible sources say Calipari refuses counter offer from Memphis [Memphis Roar]
Coach Cal from Tiger to Wildcat(?) [Sparty and Friends]

Update: Seth Davis from SI says it's almost a done deal [SI]

Update Update: The Memphis Commerical Appeal says Calipari is "lobbying for former Tiger assistant and current UTEP coach Tony Barbee to be his replacement in Memphis, possibly using the threat of current players leaving the program as leverage." Classy. [MCA]

Of course Kentucky is a better job than Memphis. More money, more prestige, a bigger conference, multiple opportunities to meet Ashley Judd. They also have some of the most ungrateful fans in North America. Winning a national championship (which Calipari has yet to do, by the way) is no job security when you're coaching in Lexington. And if all those boosters who just didn't get Billy Gillispie's annoying shtick think John is going to be their new golfing buddy, they got another thing coming.

On the other hand, you don't get to be someone like John Calipari without believing you can bend the universe to your will, so he will probably head to Kentucky determined to tame the Wildcat faithful and carve his name into Rupp Arena. No 2-seeds for 30-win teams in the SEC! Plus, there's the whole ghost of Rick Pitino thing, which only makes it more tempting. This is all provided the money is right, which it should be, because Billy Gillispie never signed the seven-year contract that would have guaranteed him a $6 million buyout, so UK is probably off the hook for that.

I believe the term you're looking for is: (forehead slap!)

Source: Calipari contemplate taking Kentucky job [ESPN]
Gillispie out at Kentucky after two seasons [Times Gazette]

The reporter in the video is WLEX 18's Alan Cutler, who, for whatever reason, felt that getting the former Kentucky head coach on the record immediately after he was canned was crucial and worthy of stalkerazzi-style reporting techniques. It's hilarious watching Gilliispie do the cellphone-to-the-ear trick ( a known TMZ repellent) in an attempt to ward off the two or three television reporters following him around the campus. When that fails, he goes into a swift jog, trying to shake the dogged Cutler who's cutting him off at every angle. " I can run all day, Billy!," Cutler says at one point. But, alas, he's finally stopped by a secretary as soon as Gillispie reaches the safety of his office.

Cutler's behavior is being criticized,
but nothing can compare to the bashing Gillispie's getting, as most of the reports suggest that it wasn't his coaching record that was the problem, but his wild-eyed hillbillyness that ended his reign at UK. Or, as Athletic Director Mitch Barnhart put it, they had a "a difference in philosophies." :

"There is a clear gap in how the rules and responsibilities overseeing the program are viewed. It is a gap I do not believe can be solved by just winning games."

UK's now looking for a more polished, regal candidate, one that will restore the image of the school's program as one of the country's elite. Names like Izzo, Calipari and, yes, Pitino are being tossed around as potential candidates.(What's with Kentucky's obsession with Italians?) As for Gillispie, he stated he has no hard feelings about Kentucky, but does expect to be paid the $6 million of his contract. UK, on the other hand, says it has no intention of paying the buyout because they basically think Gillispie's the most heinous individual ever to step foot into Lexington.

Stalking Gillispie....[OnlineSportsGuys]

There has been no official word yet, one way or the other, but all signs point to head coach Billy Gillispie getting the axe after just two seasons in Lexington. His record is 40-27 (20-12 in the SEC), which would be just lovely for a lot of schools but not for those that believe basketball is their birthright. The line that is already being pushed is that Gillispie is "not the right fit." He hasn't made friends with the right people, doesn't "build relationships" well, and does not have a winning rapport with the media. (As Jeanine Edwards could tell you, all those things are very true.)

Gillispie did seem a bit aloof and possibly resigned to his fate after the Notre Dame loss last night. Moments like this tend to test your faith, although at least one wire service reporter maybe didn't quite pick up on that vibe.

Asked about how he feels about all the judgment he's facing after posing a 40-27 record in two seasons at Kentucky, Gillispie said: "There's only one judgment I'll ever be concerned about, and I hope I pass that judgment. That's the only one I'll ever be concerned about, and I'm really proud that that's the only judgment that will ever have a real effect on me, and I hope I pass that one with flying colors."

Gillispie declined to answer when asked whose judgment he was referring to, saying it was obvious, apparently referring to Kentucky athletic director Mitch Barnhart.

Obviously. I mean, who else could he possibly be talking about?

Kentucky Wildcats vs. Notre Dame Fighting Irish [ESPN]
Gillispie shows little emotion after loss [Kentucky.com]
Kentucky supporters back program mum on Gillispie [The Williamson Daily News]
Billy G's biggest problem? He doesn't get it [News Enterprise]
UK Basketball: How Did It Come to This? [WKYT]

The results were not much better. When they inevitably met again at halftime, he pretended not hear her first question—or maybe he just didn't care to hear it—then gave an complete unrelated answer. Then on her second question, he decided to turn up the condescension a little bit more.

Jeannine: "A priority for you was to take away Nick Calathes' vision. How effective do you think you've been on that front?"

Billy: "You know more about it than I do, obviously. Some of these things I haven't heard of."

Even on this crappy YouTube video, you can taste the tension in his words. I don't know if Billy hates halftime interviews, or lady reporters, or if his anger and resentment simply mask an ocean of feeling raging just beneath the surface of his icy exterior; an facade that would melt in a river of love and compassion if only Jeannine would ask the one right question.... but something is definitely up with this guy.

And this is after Gillispie even called to apologize after their last run in. If the new Ross and Rachel of college basketball don't work things out soon, than how can any of us be friends anymore?

Billy Gillispie Still Hates Jeanine Edwards [Awful Announcing]
Billy Gillispie is Almost Always Angry Near Halftime [College Hoops Journal]

Edwards had the temerity to suggest that Kentucky might be concerned that the team's leading scorer had only six points at halftime. That was just stupid and Gillispie told her so, saying that Kentucky is not a one-man show and Edwards had asked a "bad question."

You see, just because Jodie Meeks is one of only two players on the squad averaging double-digits that doesn't mean the Wildcats need him to score points or anything. I mean, he added 15 in the second half—even though Ole Miss held him to just four field goals for the entire game and he missed his average by four points—and Kentucky still lost! So clearly he's not the most important player on the team, you dummy.

ATB: No Bad Questions, Just Bad Reporters… [Rush The Court]
Billy Gillispie Rips ESPN Reporter Jeannine Edwards, video [NESW Sports]

UNC won 77-58, which must have been very traumatic to miss Judd, who is well known for a 1996 quote concerning the Tar Heels. When offered a North Carolina jacket on a cold morning on a movie set, she said: "I'd just as soon freeze to death."

More photos at World of Isaac.

More bad news for Kentucky: They're 0-2, and got drilled despite the fact that UNC was missing the injured Tyler Hansbrough. Worse news for North Carolina: 7-foot freshman Tyler Zeller, Hansbrough's replacement, suffered a wrist injury in the second half and had to be taken to the hospital for X-rays.

No. 1 North Carolina Rolls To Home Victory Over Kentucky [USA Today]
Ashley Judd Watches her Wildcats Lose To North Carolina [World Of Isaac]
Thompson, No. 1 Tar Heels Roll Past Kentucky 77-58 [Associated Press]

* * * * *

Second Half

11:06 — So hey, that's all for tonight, but thanks to the five of you who read everything I typed. Including the following word: clothespins.

11:04 — The most esoteric reference at the end for Vitale was Lionel Ritchie, which was a pretty solid stream of consciousness to get there. Also, he said tonight is why "North Carolina is uno number one." I highly recommend the #1 combo at Uno. Cheese pizza and breadsticks. Mmm.

58 77

11:02 — Yeah, Zeller looks like his hand bent the incorrect way.

10:59 — Tyler Zeller gets fouled rather mightily by Ramon Harris. As Zeller struggles to find the rest of his facial organs, we're reminded that his brothers were good basketball players too. This is the Tinkerbell Theory in that if you talk about a player's dossier enough, he'll get better via audience participation.

10:58 — Somehow. SOMEHOW. Vitale sneaks in a Tim Tebow mention with under three minutes in the game.

10:57 — By the way, Deon Thompson fouled out with 20 points and 8 rebounds.

10:55 — You think I have it bad? Kansas is leading Florida Gulf Coast University 81-39 with a few minutes left in the game. Good thing that wasn't on TV.

10:54 — The cameras bravely found Ashley Judd among, somehow, UNC fans. Apparently she made a pact that if Obama won North Carolina, she would sit in the students section in this game.

10:50 — Silly foul there by Ed Davis. What kind of lapse in cranial judgment would you call that, gang? Live blog timeout.

51 68

10:47 — Shulman: "Digger has 78 teams in the tournament and you have 12 teams in the top five." Because of that, Shulman among the top three broadcasters I've ever watched.

10:45 — A letter from Mike Krzyzewski to Michael Jordan. When does that go on eBay? Either way, get your paint and stamp MJ's name like you mean it.

10:42 — Not like it's going to happen, but in actual game scoring news, Kentucky is 13 points away from a tie.

10:40 — Vitale gave Obama an "average" rating of basketball ability, probably the most condemning review of hoops skills ever doled out by Dickie V. in the last 20 minutes

10:38 — Still awaiting a mental breakdown. At this point just seeing one might convince me to mark it. Hell, hearing Tom Petty's "Breakdown" might elicit me to mark it.

46 64

10:34 — Also, Vitale has great things to say about his co-worker, Dan Shulman, who's one of the best. Everything's a good thing. Even badness is good because it makes good things gooder.

10:33 — Everybody's good with this character. Expect some huge praise for SIU-Edwardsville if this thing goes to overtime.

10:32 — If you didn't notice that, Vitale had three degrees of compliments:

1. Pittsburgh. They're good because they beat:
2. Miami of Ohio. They're good because they played well against
3. UCLA. If he would have mentioned John Wooden, it'd be the rarified four degrees of compliments. Currently HDTV does not support such complexity of laudatory commentary.

10:31 — "Will this be the year" that a non-major school makes it to the Final Four? I guess it's already been handed down from above that George Mason has always been a legendary basketball powerhouse.

10:28 — Derek Jeter doesn't need to be a spokesman for a deodorant. It's not like if he forgets to cover up his sweat smell, he won't have a threesome.

39 55

10:25 — Have two nouns not in the game ever been mentioned more in a 2-hour span? Tyler Hansbrough and VMI are sure getting their audio's worth.

10:23 — Breaking update: I am a horrible person. The black "K" on the uniform is for Bill Keightley, longtime UK equipment manager, who passed away in March.

10:20 — I need a timeout to compose myself.

31 45

10:17 — A twist: the Rays WERE mentioned. But it took Dan Shulman, not the Tampa native, to knock the bingo spot down. WE ARE ONE "MENTAL BREAKDOWN" FROM THE FIRST EVER BINGO, PEOPLE.

10:16 — The latest on Hansbrough's injury, here's Erin Andrews. Her first words: "Again, just to reiterate..." Stay tune for the latest same report in ten minutes.

10:15 — Understanding the reference, can UNC's Wayne Ellington still be nicknamed, albeit off-the-cuff, "Duke?" Or is this a Dick Vitale pajama fantasy?

10:13 — Again, in case you didn't know, Kentucky played VMI in their first game. (Spoiler: VMI was the WINNER!)

10:12 — Tyler Zeller was called for a foul of Not Being Tyler Hansbrough.

10:09 — Erin Andrews was rather taken aback by Coach Gillispie's "spirited" speech, little of which she can evidently repeat. Here's to hoping the compound swear words were plentiful. A rumor that one of the words was "fuckhammer" would make my evening.

Halftime Entertainment Video

[speechless, twitching, shivering, a bit sleepy]

First Half

9:52 — The first half ended in the exact same minute this bag of Baked Ruffles just became empty. It's a sign.

25 41

9:48 — Wait. Did they just say Dick Vitale's going to broadcast an NBA game? The fuck? Am ... am I dead?

9:46 — Kentucky: 17 turnovers, 21 points. The entire team already has a double-double in the first half.

9:45 — VMI is getting so many mentions, you'd think Mike Krzyzewski was named their new head coach.

9:42 — UNC is clinging to that somethingteen lead as we reach the next media timeout. Media includes liveblogs. This break is taken specifically for me. I'm honored.

21 38

9:41 — Southwest Baptist beat Utah, causing Vitale to Google where the school was located.

9:39 — Dickie V. wants college players to stay for three years minimum in college, because he hates parity and wants Kansas, Duke, UNC and UCLA in the Final Four every year.

9:37 — Erin Andrews reports on Roy Williams finding out about three players coming back for another year, and imagining what it'd be like for UNC if they weren't here. God, they'd be, like, sixth. Terrifying!

9:35 — And a longer 3-point line. En fuego. Vitale: "look at all those lines!" Yes, there are two. HOW CAN YOU KEEP TRACK OF THAT MANY?

9:33 — Pedroia. Count it.

9:31 — Enjoying the eight-minute timeout break, they are.

15 31

9:30 — Okay, Ed Davis had a crazy slick save out of bounds, that turned into a 3-point bucket. Even I, made of cardiac stone, can appreciate that.

9:27 — Lookit that. Kentucky's only down 11. I say that with a thick streak of optimism that this game won't devolve into what Hansbrough had for lunch Thursday. (Spoiler: Greek salad!)

9:26 — Also, Marcus Ginyard is a UNC player who is out with an injury. CUE THE STORIES ABOUT HIM!

9:23 — Out of the TV timeout, back to talking how awesome it'd be if Tyler Hansbrough wasn't injured. (Spoiler: very awesome!)

9:20 — Jodie Meeks' 3-pointer out of the break narrows the lead by 15.8 percent. Sure makes it sound monumental, don't it? They're still down sixteen.

9:20 — Timeout, Kentucky. "I've seen better passing in Ultimate Basketball." (Christ, that game was hard.)

6 25

9:19 — HEY STOP STEALING THE BALL AND DUNKING, I CAN'T TYPE THAT FAST.

9:19 — Another Kentucky turnover. I'm going to cut that sentence into my clipboard.

9:17 — Now Kentucky gets a steal, and somehow relays it to Patrick "Pat" Patterson for a dunk.

9:16 — I'm having trouble counting the UK turnovers. Afraid it'll put me to sleep.

9:15 — Hey! The Wildcats doubled their points. Good on them.

9:11 — TV timeout. At least it's still within two touchdowns.

2 15

9:10 — UNC finally makes a mistake and blows a fastbreak layup.

9:09 — Gah. "Dancing With The Stars." I knew I was forgetting something. But "dancing with Erin Andrews" certainly qualifies for the hotness square.

9:08 — Deon Thompson forcefully stuffed Roman Harris's attempt at points. I'm going to pretend the blue uniforms are Butler jerseys in the hopes that this game is close.

9:06 — They're already bored with this 8-2 rout that they're talking about when Hansbrough will return. Good thing nothing else is happening in the arena tonight except for the healing of muscle tissue.

9:05 — Six points for UNC and it we haven't even played two minutes of gametime yet. UNC and VMI for the national championship?

9:03 — And Kentucky's uniform has the "K" a different color than the rest of the lettering why? Because UCLA started it?

9:02 — Sure was nice of Kentucky to make their warmup unis out of discarded golf polo shirts. Recycling!

8:56 — Wuh-oh. Shulman and Vitale showed up with the same haircut. Also, a Vitale editorial: college basketball is very good. Note: the views and opinions expressed by the analysts do not necessarily represent the opinions of ESPN and its family of networks.

8:55 — Correction. Bob Knight just yelled "Yokohama Sea Lions." He is giving it his all.

8:50 — Rece Davis: suit. Hubert Davis: suit. Jay Bilas: suit. Digger Phelps: suit. Bob Knight: comfy green sweater. I know he he has a naturally deadpan personality, but it sure looks like Bob Knight would rather be fishing.

Pre-Game Babble

Yes, that photo up there is Rasheed Wallace in his early fighting days. My, how he's grown up since.

Will the game be interesting? Who the hell knows. These programs are 1-2 in most wins all time in NCAA history, so for a college game in November, this is as marquee as it gets. The Department of Homeland Security is issuing a Film Noir Montage Code Red for this game. Adolph Rupp's name might come up.

Anyways, Hansbrough may be out for the game, but the history of both teams will be the storyline here. Tar Heels blog Carolina March basically says the same thing, although ... wait ... "Aye Zigga Zoomba Zoomba Zay?" THAT's your tagline? That's OUR tagline. (Sort of.) No, BGSU predates 1950, so I hereby demand half of UNC's national championships be transferred directly into Bowling Green's record books. Thank you in advance.

Projected Starting Lineups

North Carolina

G Ty Lawson, offspring of a notable NFL cornerback
G Wayne "Menthol" Ellington
F Danny "The Patch" Green
F Deon "Unfiltered" Thompson
C Tyler "Reasonably-Minded T" Zeller

Kentucky

G Michael "Sky" Porter
G Jodie "Delk" Meeks
F Patrick "Mashburn" Patterson
F Perry "Tayshaun" Stevenson
F Ramon "Bowie" Harris

Bingo Card

This will also be my first time live blogging a Dick Vitale-broadcasted event, whom you may remember was the inspiration for Thought Bingo. So this one required a ton of randomness and almost prompted another exponential layer of squares, giving us 36.

LATE ADDITION: Storming The Floor wanted me to include "Kentucky's neon-blue checkerboard uniforms," which I must say is not only a good idea, but also my first bingo request. So consider this a wild card space. If this one is mentioned, close your eyes and throw a dart at the computer screen. Mark off wherever it lands.

Seriously, VMI at home? It's the second straight year the Wildcats have laid a gigantic goose egg in their home opener and it is not an encouraging sign for Billy Gillispie. Meanwhile, Psycho T jumped into another pool or something and will miss his second straight game with a dusty crotch. You're paid to be gritty and fearless, big guy, not sit on the bench and wave to your girlfriend in the band. If, indeed, you even have a girlfriend, which I highly doubt at this point, especially after seeing this high school yearbook portrait. Were the lasers unavailable?

(Seriously though, I shouldn't judge—we all have one of these pictures in our past, don't we? So let he who would voluntarily put his or her own senior portrait on the internet, cast the first comment.)

Anyway, since you have been undoubtedly stuck at work, sleeping, or both. Here's what happened so far—Memphis beat UMass, then got Xavier Henry (the top prep in the nation and brother of Tiger C.J. Henry) to give them his verbal commitment live on SportsCenter. St. Mary's suddenly became everybody's tournament "sleeper" team, Hawaii held off a pesky Idaho St. team and then Dick Vitale gave the entire Big East an automatic bid.

Also, 93-year-old Hall of Fame coach Pete Newell politely passed away on Monday as a final tribute to ESPN's dedicated coverage. Talk about always putting the sport first.

Up next: Drexel is finishing off Penn right now, then Kansas begins its title defense against Iowa at noon. What's that? Lady Jayhawks and Lady Hawkeyes. Oh. Very sneaky, sis.

There's lots more after than and and someone is actually live blogging the whole thing, just because they can. Can you hear the footsteps, Suss?

Sure, it's tough to actually watch most of this hoopsgasm, but I applaud the effort to give a nice big celebratory shove-off for the college basketball world. Twenty-four straight hours of hoops coverage is the kind of thing that Barack Obama would support in this new administration and who are you to stand in the way of hope?

College Basketball Scoreboard [Yahoo]
ESPN TV listings [ESPN]
Hansbrough to miss Kentucky game [SBR Forum]
Virginia Military Institute tops Kentucky, 111-103 [AP/Google]
Henry a perfect fit at Memphis [ESPN]
Former Cal coach Newell dies at 93 [ESPN]
ESPN Marathon of Hoops Live Blog, Part II [Rush The Court]

P.S. As a special treat, I updated the lame-ass Deadspin hoops preview with a few more teams. Don't say I never did anything pointless for you.

I'm going to say "lynx", but who the hell really knows? What matters is that it has its tags and is currently on sale for the discount price of $1,000. And I'm sure with just a quick jersey change it could easily be re-purposed for fans of Arizona, Villanova, New Hampshire, Davidson, Kansas State or Goldie Hawn. Send it in, Mr. Whiskers!

Original ad preserved below for posterity and future court proceedings.

University of Kentucky Slam Dunkin Wildcat - $1000 (Hurley, VA) [Craigslist]

Most schools will hold their first open practice on Friday night, but the Wildcats are one of four teams that already held their Midnight Madness celebrations. See, there's another NCAA rules that says you're allowed two hours of "instruction" each week starting in September (that's not practice?) so why not invite 20,000 people over and have a pizza party?

"Everybody in the country could have done the same thing," Kentucky basketball spokesman DeWayne Peevy said. "It didn't cause any problems for us here. If there was a rule in place that prevented us from doing it, we wouldn't have had a problem in abiding by that."

As we all know, Kentucky cares very much about rules. In fact, that's probably what they hired Larry Orton to talk about when he was paid to speak at their camps this summer. Who the eff is Larry Orton? He the father of Daniel Orton, a top high-school recruit ... who just committed to Kentucky! How about that? Oh, by the way, that's not illegal and Kentucky is certainly not the only school to do it, but hey ... welcome to college sports!

One other thing: this is Tom Izzo preparing to dine in hell at Michigan State's Midnight Madness last year. I share this with you, because ... look at the guy. That's one of the most respected men in the game, right there. I will now go weep into my Street and Smith's.

• "Midnight madness comes early at some schools via practice loophole" [SI]
• KENTUCKY COMMIT NO SURPRISE [Fox Sports]
• UK's 2008 Midnight Madness [video @ Kentucky.com]
• Tar Heels on top as season sets to begin [Andy Katz]
• Top 65 countdown [Rivals/Yahoo]

That's Central Florida's Darin Baldwin and Joe Burnett responding, one supposes, to some jeering by the Miami rooting section. Central Florida loses both the game and in the court of public opinion. Bad form.

Nice to see Central Florida rocking the Rayhawk, however.

UCF Loses To Miami, But Totally Flips Off Crowd [Sports by Brooks]
South Carolina Tops Kentucky Again [Go Vols]

It will be interesting to see just how different this offense is without prolific quarterback Andre Woodson, who fueled an aggressive downfield passing attack the past two seasons. But Woodson, along with his four top weapons, is in the NFL, leaving offensive coordinator Joker Phillips with an offense lacking playmakers.

I don't know if a loss of playmakers would bother a guy named Joker too much. But it does leave a little extra pressure on defensive coordinator Batman Schneider and special teams coach Commissioner Gordon Lightfoot.

Kentucky Team Report [Yahoo! Sports]
Louisville Team Report [Yahoo! Sports]

STANFORD CARDINAL

1. The Happiest Place On Earth. While other programs struggle with illegal shenanigans and recruiting scandals, the Cardinal are definitely rated G. Twins Brook and Robin Lopez are obsessed with everything related to Walt Disney, including knowing the answers to trivia questions such as: Where did Walt Disney live out the last 11 years of his life? (in an apartment above the fire house in Disneyland). The twins also love drawing and writing comic books, having been introduced to them as children when their AAU coach would give them a comic book each time one of them blocked a shot. Robin Lopez is named for Christopher Robin, the young boy from the Winnie the Pooh books. They also have a brother named Christopher. And their favorite singer is Michael Jackson, so much so that they play his song Speed Demon before every game.

2. Their Coaching Staff Can Beat Up Your Coaching Staff. If an on-court melee erupts, bet on the Cardinal. They have a young coaching staff led by head coach Trent Johnson, but when you throw in athletic trainer Tomoo Yamada, its all over. Born in Tokyo, Japan, Yamada is a martial arts expert who specializes in Jui Jitsu, and has trained on the famed Shamrock Fighting Team.

3. Sloshball Fever: Catch It. One of Stanford's greatest traditions is Sloshball; a kickball game that features a keg at second base. A full beer must be consumed before the runner may leave second base, and a beer must be held in a cup at all times. Disputed calls are settled by beer chugging contests known as boatraces. Sadly, another tradition, the Big Game bonfire on Lake Lagunita, was discontinued due to the presence of endangered salamanders. — Rick Chandler

CORNELL BIG RED

1. Cornell is so fucking nerdy. The actual Mission Statement for Cornell Athletics is: "We offer a diverse program of physical and outdoor education, recreational services, and intercollegiate athletic competition, equitably administered with special attention to the needs of women and members of under-represented minority groups." Ignoring the sexist and racist overtones of a Mission Statement that infers that chicks and minorities (always underrepresented in the Ivies! Hopefully!) need their own sports like basketball, ping pong, foxy boxing and such, it should read: "Cornell Athletics are here to help grow muscles beyond enormous ass cheeks and thigh muscles people build while hiking up and down the damn hills every day in the snow, like the training scene from Rocky IV, if he was wearing Uggs and lived in Montauk during the summer. We also help minorities survive inhospitable living conditions like constant clouds and rain, during the few weeks it's not snowing." Need more evidence? The lead article on cornellbigred.com "hyping" the second game against Dartmouth reads: "Heading into the 2007-08 season, Cornell was the preseason favorite among most college basketball publications and the media that covers the Ivy League's eight institutions. This weekend the Big Red will attempt to make all of those prognosticators clairvoyant by claiming a share of the Ancient Eight title." Out nerd THAT hype, Duke.

2. Cornell is so fucking arty. To illustrate, the logos of the Big Red:

The attitude best expressed by the old school Cornell Bear = "The fuck you looking at, bitch?"

The attitude best expressed by the new school Cornell bear = "BEAR TRAP! BIG, LETTER C SHAPED BEAR TRAP! SHIT!"

The attitude best expressed by the new school Cornell bear and full university name = "The motherfucking Cornell billboard just fell on me! OW! WHAT THE SHIT?"

3. Conversely, Cornell will continue to be fucking slow on the uptake. Let's follow the logic. Cornell has, relative to the competition, essentially the same competitive assets to offer a new recruit. Cold. Pasty white chicks. Hypercompetitive nerd classmates. Low-end frat boys. Maybe Harvard can claim to be in Boston, and Columbia can claim to be in NYC, but nobody there goes out either due to the courseload. Anyway, of all the "Ancient (read: Elite) Eight," Cornell is the ONLY one with a State School. Three of them actually. Yes, it's true, there is an Ivy League university that includes three state schools, meaning ANYONE IN NEW YORK can go to AN IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL for the same cost and difficulty AS SUNY GENESEO. It would seem obvious that the coaches of the teams might want to, um, use that as an aid to get NEW YORK CITY BALLERS. Is there hope for this? Well, if you read the bio of Jeff "More than 6" Foote (one of only three 84+ inch tall players in the league), you would notice that he is from New York (the Deep North part, unfortunately) and that he goes to the Ag school. RELATIVE SUCCESS! But no! Despite living within a gunshot of Ithaca, he originally went to St. Bonaventure (I assume this is a college) and only because the Cornell coach chatted up his nurse mom while she was on the job did he get recruited. Someday this will have to be figured out, if Jim Boeheim can keep his players in Cadillacs without NCAA sanctions, surely someone can figure out how to recruit at Cornell and win the short, slow, eight-team league more often than once every goddamn 20 years. — Silky John-STON!

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MARQUETTE GOLDEN EAGLES

1. Stephon Marbury Is Displeased with Your Guru. Larry Brown's first piece of advice to Tom Crean: get three versatile guards to run a team. Dominic James (13.6 ppg, 4.3 assists/game), Jerel McNeal (13.5 ppg, 2.3 steals/game), and Wesley Matthews (11.2 ppg, 4.2 rebounds/game) can lead the team in scoring on a given night. All were four-star recruits in 2005, Crean's strongest recruiting class during his coaching tenure. Larry Brown's second piece of advice to Crean: never stay at a job longer than 2 years. Last year, Marquette signed Crean to an extension through 2017. Oops.

2. Jesus Had a Twin Who Knew Nothing About Sin. I implore you to analyze a Marquette game four minutes at a time. After one TV timeout, evaluate the data and make your necessary conclusions. After the second TV timeout, you realize that the first conclusions no longer make sense. Marquette is the college version of the Golden State Warriors. They want to run the court to achieve easy layups and wide-open three pointers. When this does not occur, Marquette must run a half court offense, which alternates between Daydream Nation and NYC Ghosts & Flowers.

3. It's Revolutionary to Maginot. Jay Bilas pulls out a set of facts for every Big East team on Monday night. Tom Crean's fact: He has over 1,000 offensive plays. Jay, what are you watching? I've seen some cute out of bounds plays that result in an easy lay-up for the Golden Eagles after a TV timeout, but 1,000? How many variations of on-ball screen, pass, on-ball screen, pass, on-ball screen, contested jump shot are there? — James Virtel

KENTUCKY WILDCATS

1. Billy G Is Not My Lover. Many fans wanted Tubby Smith out for a long, long time in the Commonwealth, so with that exodus they got Billy Gillispie. The Wildcats had a 6-7 record following a loss to now-hated Rick Pitino, and everyone thought that ol' Billy Boy might not be the guy after all. Panic ensued, then Gillispie really proved to be the grinder (crouch down low, coach, show us how much you care!) and has been named the SEC coach of the year. So, just to recap: Billy Gillispie became a much better coach in 2008, which bodes well for the 'Cats.

2. Ashley Judd Loves the Streaking. With their resurgence, Kentucky continues their impressive streak of tournaments made, making it 17 straight this year. (That accomplishment is only bested by fellow '07-08 underachieving squad Arizona, who has danced 24 straight years, and Kansas.) Even more impressive? The Wildcats have never lost in the first round during that span.

3. Kentucky Doesn't Have the Horses. The 'Cats have been crippled the entire year with injuries and have only been able to consistently play seven players at any segment of the season. They recently lost their best player, freshman standout Patrick Patterson. Patterson was an undeniable, extremely impressive force inside, but he's gone with a broken foot. This is a squad that very much relies on their perimeter shooting to a fault, so without Patterson to lasso in those rebounds, they will need to look to the crafty play of senior Brooklyn-bred point guard Ramel Bradley and the indispensable Derrick Jasper. But, as any true Wildcat fan knows, this team's barometer is the play of Joe Crawford, who value is as incalculable as any player in the nation. — College Hoops Journal

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2. Ashley Judd Loves the Streaking. With their resurgence, Kentucky continues their impressive streak of tournaments made, making it 17 straight this year. (That accomplishment is only bested by fellow '07-08 underachieving squad Arizona, who has danced 24 straight years, and Kansas.) Even more impressive? The Wildcats have never lost in the first round during that span.

3. Kentucky Doesn't Have the Horses. The 'Cats have been crippled the entire year with injuries and have only been able to consistently play seven players at any segment of the season. They recently lost their best player, freshman standout Patrick Patterson. Patterson was an undeniable, extremely impressive force inside, but he's gone with a broken foot. This is a squad that very much relies on their perimeter shooting to a fault, so without Patterson to lasso in those rebounds, they will need to look to the crafty play of senior Brooklyn-bred point guard Ramel Bradley and the indispensable Derrick Jasper. But, as any true Wildcat fan knows, this team's barometer is the play of Joe Crawford, who value is as incalculable as any player in the nation. — College Hoops Journal

Yes, even though he's a college basketball player on scholarship, Thermocaster introduces us to Fire Alex Legion.

We Illini fans should beware, they say.

And for the Illinois people who think they are getting a mint with Alex Legion. Yes it's exciting to THINK you are getting some super player but the fact is, anyone that watched the games he played in at Kentucky saw a player that needed tons of work. Slow on defense and not a good scorer. He was honestly someone that when you watched the video clips of his high school games, you thought he would be this big time player. Most UK fans thought the same thing you most likely are thinking, however he didn't deliver that drive and determination and ability that you see in those videos. He quite honestly was an extreme letdown and did not prove to be anything special when compared to a freshman like Patrick Patterson. Patterson had that drive and determination, Legion simply does not and you will learn that soon enough.

We would like to remind that Legion is now 19 years old.

Fire Alex Legion

Time stands still. A ray of light comes from above. In the distance, a choir hits a high note. As it turns out, it was a cloudy day, and the sun finally broke. This all happened during choir practice. The series of events were not interconnected:

Despite his mother publicly favoring Notre Dame, Alex Legion has opted to transfer to Illinois.

"Coach (Bruce) Weber and his staff recruited me out of high school," the former Kentucky freshman told FOXSports.com on Friday night. "I went to both places to visit in the last week and liked both, but I felt more comfortable at Illinois."

But there you have it. Alex Legion's transferring. This would be really cool news, you know, if we knew someone who went to Illinois.

Ex-Kentucky SG Legion To Transfer To Illinois [Fox Sports]

Because God is waffling once again.

"We met with Alex and his mother Friday, and she informed us of her desire to seek a release for her son," [Kentucky coach Billy] Gillispie said Tuesday. "Shortly after that meeting, Alex told me that he still wanted to be a part of our program. He played in the game against North Carolina Saturday and seemed happy when I spoke with him Sunday."

See? This is from his mother, who has a direct pipeline to God. We can't handle these mixed messages. Screw it: We're joining the Church of Scientology.

Legion May Return To Wildcats [SI.com]
Never Trust God's Recruiting Sheet [Deadspin]

Legion, less than 10 games in, is transferring.

Wildcats freshman shooting guard Alex Legion has decided to transfer, said sources close to the situation. According to one source, the move primarily concerned Gillispie — and wasn't about playing time. "He was told he'd get his release later this week," the source said. "It wasn't about his playing time at all."

Once again, The Higher Diety reveals his underlying weakness: His inability to appropriate match basketball talent with basketball coach. You'd think, with all the oceans and mountains and abstract concepts like love, he'd have that figured out. Lame, God: LAME.

God Wants A Do-Over On Alex Legion [The Angry T]
She's Like Biff From The Future [Deadspin]

Gardner-Webb's shocking pasting of Kentucky last night might show that new coach Billy Gillispie has a long way to go, but we don't think it should be too far read into: Sometimes your team just assumes it's going to win.

"Everybody was looking forward to the New York trip," freshman Patrick Patterson said. "No one thought much of this team. Everybody was focused on New York and Connecticut and Oklahoma and Memphis. The teams up there. This game, we didn't really bring it like we should."

Yeah, it happens, and that's why it's fun. We just hope Kige is OK this morning.

Gardner-WEbb Takes Down Kentucky [The Love Of Sports]
UK's Loss Proves That Gillispie Needs Time [The Sporting News]

According to Ragland's account, some UK players in the early 1960s became involved with two gay men who had moved to Lexington around 1959. The two men were luring players to their Lakewood Drive residence with offers of free food, alcohol and parties even before Bradshaw became coach, the book says. Eventually, according to Ragland, some players submitted to gay oral sex in exchange for money, receiving $200 or more for each act. At some point, Ragland writes, movie star Rock Hudson became involved through his friendship with one of the party hosts. (Hudson died of complications from AIDS in 1985.)

Man, the early '60s Wildcats locker room must have been like Caligula. We need someone to guide us through this morass. Kige?

The Dirty Thirty? [Kentucky.com]

Reader "The Diesel" writes in:

Longtime UK fan but in all my years at Commonwealth Stadium, I've never seen this.

Here's the deal. 8:00 mark, 1st quarter, UK up a touchdown. Most people celebrate with high-fives and rocksplosions.

But the couple in front of me...not so much. They celebrate by straight up finger-banging. that's how we roll in the bluegrass.

My girlfriend alerted me first of this hot public action. Then the chick to my left elbowed me pointing with disgust at the table-turning in the pants. (Apparently women can hear other women's belt buckle coming undone.)

Then, basically, me and 32 others in the section watched with shock-and-awe for the next 3 minutes as this M.I.L.F. got her shit on.

And, yes, there are photos.

Naw, really, she's "someone who can prophesize about your future and what's going on in your life." That's helpful!

"The Lord has shown me: They're going to the Final Four," she said, before adding a qualifier, "providing they play together." Was this a prophecy? A prediction? Merely wishful thinking? "I have spoken these things into existence," she said. "It's not by accident that my son is here and now the Final Four is in Michigan."

We really could have used this lady in September: There was money to be made on those Rockies. Though, frankly, we should have known because of, you know, the God thing.

The Kentucky Wildcats Basketball Team Will Have A Little Extra Help This Season [The Angry T]
Basketball Prophesies [Kentucky.com]

• Kentucky Football: Believe! What a game, what a game. My wife and I were cheering and cursing and just loving it. We finally got around to dinner at about 9:30, and I had trouble sleeping last night for thinking about it. This game had much of the excitement of the 1992 Duke-UK basketball game, only with a better result. Kentucky football is truly enjoying a resurgence in the Bluegrass, and fan passion for the game is surging. [A Sea Of Blue]

• Postgame Take. No excuses here. We had all the opportunities in the world to win it. We were up 27-14 and gave it away. Flynn is at best an average passer, though he did well to convert some big third downs with his legs. The overthrows downfield have GOT to stop, though. [...] Our defense is clearly overrated. We had some injuries late but they moved it on us all day. We came up big at home last week when it mattered, but if a unit can't put it together against good offenses on the road, it's not worthy of much praise. It's still a very good defense, just not remotely comparable to the all-time great LSU defenses, or at this point even other defenses that are out there this year (Ohio State, for instance). [And The Valley Shook]

• Where Do LSU's National Title Hopes Stand? LSU's title hopes: They're not on life support. But they took a huge hit. With the wackiness of the '07 season, we're looking at some very iffy top-ranked teams who've fallen into the #1 slot, and it's not going to be easy to dislodge them. If it comes down to it, LSU will have to hope that their resume is impressive enough to be voted into the title game with one loss over an undefeated team with a questionable resume. [The FanHouse]

• Kentucky Shocks No. 1 LSU: Implications! For Kentucky, as legit a claim as anyone to "Best One-Loss Team" in the nation. Next week's game at home against Florida suddenly looms as large as this week's was against LSU. (Oh, and restore UK QB Andre Woodson as the Heisman Trophy favorite, and — while you're at it — as the top QB taken in the 2008 NFL Draft.) [Dan Shanoff]

We can't imagine how much money got for this little commercial for Kentucky Chrome Emblems, but we hope they didn't pay too much: He gives the wrong URL. (Though he does spell his own name right, making sure you get 25 percent off your order.) It's also very important you not consider Kige some sort of corporate shill; from his YouTube page:

My first commercial: note the product is good I tried it out I WOULD NOT PROMOTE IF WAS NOT GOOD So do not call me a sell out.

It's always sad when true beauty is corrupted by the three-headed dragon that is crass capitalism.

Kentucky Chrome Emblems

Dicky Lyons is a wide receiver for the Kentucky Wildcats, and despite his seemingly less-than-chiseled-athlete physique, he's one of their better players. And he also seems like as amiable a doofus as you could possibly meet.

You feel bad for him? Don't: Feel bad for the guy operating the camera.

Dicky Lyons Does ... Well ... He Does This [KentuckySportsRadio]

It would be safe to say that Texas A&M fans aren't handling the loss of Billy Gillespie to Kentucky very well.

(expletive deleted) [The 12th ManChild]
From One Billy To Another [Deadspin]

Gillespie is a notorious loner, and though he might have been able to pull that off in Aggie country, we imagine we'll be stalked wherever he goes in Lexington.

And we imagine the coaching search to fill the spot at Texas A&M will have considerably less fanfare. But just in case ... get your flight trackers ready!

Wildcats To Introduce Gillespie [ESPN]
Billy Gillespie In At UK [My Old Kentucky Home]
Somewhere There's A Little Dot That Looks Like Bob Huggins [Deadspin]

It looks like we're having an encore this week, though, as Florida coach Billy Donovan continues to play footsie with Kentucky and its open coaching job. Some reports say they've already offered him a contract, and there's no question he's their top candidate. That might be all fine and good — though we don't understand why he'd want to leave a school he could lead to two consecutive titles — but certainly now's not the time to be discussing it? Donovan could have eliminated this whole storyline with a well-placed "I'm coaching the Final Four this week, and that's all I care about," but instead he pulled that "well, I don't know where Kentucky stands, so I can't worry about that" ploy that set everybody off and will surely increase his price tag.

It is frustrating that much of a Final Four this potentially amazing will be tied up in discussing the bank account of Billy Donovan, but we fetishize coaches and probably always will. Even ones as scary as Billy Donovan.

Coaching Search Breakdown [Kentucky Sports Radio]
Bad Form [Yellow Chair Sports]

(UPDATE: A Lexington TV station says the Donovan-to-Kentucky deal will be announced after the Final Four.)