• This should clear up any rumors about Bill Simmons going to Sports Illustrated. Maybe SI shouldn't have included "hepatitis" in the contract offer. [Scott's Shots]
• You know that Dodgers pitcher who's worth billions? Darren Rovell gets all up in his schist. [CNBC]
• A blog with an Onion-like approach to things. Jim Nantz prerecording his own eulogy seems entirely possible. [BlogMogger]
• Actively trying to destroy NASCAR. [NBX]
• A quality interview with ESPN's LZ Granderson. [Chicago Sports Review]
• Comparing Liverpool striker Craig Bellamy and Pacman Jones. [Only Time Will Tell]
• Speaking of Pacman, his brain is for sale on eBay. [Total Titans]
• The Arnold Classic gets underway this weekend in Ohio. Ick. [JimmyBurch.com]
• Carmelo Anthony is taking time away from the team to witness the birth of his first child. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Remember the WWF's Ultimate Warrior? That guy's a mess. [JoeSportsFan]