Rapey Smurf was my line, dammit! And that "Here's Kobe" intro isn't exactly an image booster, is it?

Periwinkle is SUPERBAD!

That sweater vest was probably made of virgin Andean Mountain Goat hair. I thought Kobe was surprisingly insightful, especially with his analysis of the European crossover. It was entertaining even though he appeared to be sitting on a stick while saying it.

I can't stand Kobe. He always sounds scripted. I never believe a word that comes out of the guy's mouth. Until I watched this segment. I'm telling you, find someone who can dress him right and he could be really good as an analyst. Okay, Ew. That's the longest I've ever gone on about Kobe without insulting him...I think I just blacked out.

Obviously, Free Darko has the market cornered on insight into this, but I have to join the club: I'd really like to see Kobe as an analyst any time the Lakers aren't in the playoffs, and for a long time after his career is over. [Will Ferrell] No it's cool man, bring your blue sweater, it'll be fun! [/Will Ferrell]

Kobe Bryant is a modern day NBA version of Eddie Haskell. He's all talk and attitude-in other words, a real creep, the kind of guy that everyone sees through. He's as oily in his politeness to the media as he is weaselly in his dealings with his peers. Besides, I always knew that Haskell kid was a rapist.

I love when Barkley says that Lebron is from the Dominican Republic, because he doesn't look/play like he's 21. That's how I feel when I look at Greg Oden. He is the oldest-looking 17 year old (or 18 y/o) I've ever seen.

Kobe, dressing up like a pederast is not going to make the world forget about that whole rape thing. Quite the opposite.

I was actually very impressed with Kobe's analyst skills. It sounds like he actually plays in the NBA. As opposed to Kenny "the JET" and CBark who played in a different era. How did he get the nickname "the Jet" anyway?

bigt- just remember, he's a huge fan of Leonard Berstein's music. When you're a Jet, You're a Jet all the way From your first cigarette To your last dyin' day. When you're a Jet, If the spit hits the fan, You got brothers around, You're a family man! You're never alone, You're never disconnected! You're home with your own: When company's expected, You're well protected! Then you are set With a capital J, Which you'll never forget Till they cart you away. When you're a Jet, You stay a Jet!

When Charles asked Kobe why he changed his number, I think he was really talking about his phone number.

BigT: "K-K-K-Kenny and the Jets!" Of all the bad Elton John songs, this one is the worst.

cc- you definately went in the wrong direction regarding songs involving the word "jet" that have achieved massive popularity in gay culture.

Well that's just awful. Thanks for the knowledge.

Best check yourself, UM. I don't want to get all Officer Krupke on you.

A guy in my office referred to that look as "very Villanova." I'm still not entirely sure what he meant, but I know where Kobe's from.

Kobe would have totally been the mack if he wore a pair of pants and the sweater-vest with nothing underneath it. Yeah, K.B., the ladies love that look.

actually the outfit looks like it was made to match his home "township" not those villanova bastards a few miles down the road http://www.lowermerion.org/

Kobe is way more J. Crew than G-Unit.

I always feel like he's trying to rip off a Kanye look but the vertical hold on his TV is off. Plasmas have vertical hold, right? I'm not fucking buying one if I can't hook the Atari 2600 to it.

Why in the world are you googling Lower Marion??

He was neevr found guilty actually. So yea.

Let me just get thos out of the way - bluesweatervest, bluesweatervest, bluesweatervest! Man, it was ugly. The strangest thing to me was how young Kobe seemed. He came off like the ringbearer at Kenny and Barkley's wedding or something. He had that earnest-nervous thing going that you usually see in 9th grade debate classes...

You're with me, pastel sweater.

who said anything about google? just type lowermerion into your firefox browser, and i only know that from the last time i was looking for bean's highschool stats

Why is Mamba holding a pen? Is he taking notes? Was he going to stab Charles with it?

@spinachdip: To keep his hands busy lest he start groping a concierge.