Deadspin
To the NFC South! We don't want to speak out of turn here, but we think the NFC South might be our least favorite division in football. There's the Saints — that's Kenny Chesney in that picture, of course — and then ... ugh.
The thing about this division is that there are three teams who have the feel, to us, like ones that are going to implode this year. But they can't all implode, we suppose.
Some picks!
• AJ Daulerio: Saints, Falcons, Panthers, Buccaneers.
• Kissing Suzy Kolber: Saints, Panthers, Buccaneers, Falcons.
• Robert Weintraub, Slate: Saints, Panthers, Falcons, Buccaneers.
• Matt Pitzer, USA Today: Panthers, Saints, Falcons, Buccaneers.
• Aaron Schatz, Football Outsiders: Saints, Buccaneers, Panthers, Falcons.
• Sports Illustrated: Saints, Panthers, Buccaneers, Falcons.
• DEADSPIN: Saints, Falcons, Panthers, Buccaneers. No matter what happens, deep down, Mr. Mexico's problems might end up helping more than they hurt. Eventually. Long time from now.
As always, we know nothing.
Comments
kenny chesney is looking like billy bob thornton there
Does Billy Bob Thorton have cancer?
"Heckuva job, Brownie!"
"Punter Sauerbrun Under Investigation"
"Ruptured Spleen"
"Rape Stand" (We'd also accept "Starting Quarterback Joey Harrington")
I wonder if Kenny has Peyton's initials tattooed on his ankle.
What's on Simms' face?
Crawfish Etouffe
Chicken and Waffles
Pulled Pork
Simms' Spleen
@Weed Against Speed: No. DJ Qualls gained 75 pounds
Meteor.
1. Fuck Heather Rothstein
2. A coach who wishes he could make a Voltron out of his RB-by-committee
3. A coach who wishes he could make a man out of his QB-by-committee
4. A coach who wishes he'd stayed at Louisville
If there was a god, Kenny Chesney would have nearly lost his leg instead of Tyrone Prothro.
Jambalaya
Barbecue
Devil Rays
Coca Cola
(not pictured) Chris Simms' spleen
@PopJocks: Argh!
Miami, Florida, Florida State, Saints.
Joey Sunshine is taking the Falcons all the way...
...to the 3rd pick in the 2008 draft
Jazz
Tobacco
Strip Clubs
Coke
@Mikey Goes to Bollywood: I'm not sure, but I believe he is demonstrating with his right hand how he jerks off Kyle Shanahan.
Booster Money
Rape Stand
Lesbian Cheerleaders
Ruptured Spleen
@Weed Against Speed: great minds think alike...except when it comes to hockey teams GO PENS! (had to get that 91 Cup Final dig in there)
@PopJocks: @Weed Against Speed: @Swellesley:
If Billy Bob Thornton and DJ Qualls had a kid.....with cancer.
-Drowned By Katrina
-Burnt By Sherman
-Betrayed By Hornets
-Fooled By Gruden
Voodoo
NASCAR
Plummer
Piano
The Meters
Ben Folds
Morbid Angel
OutKast
@Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price: I'll have the same.
@Weed Against Speed: Eating disorder. For real.
Mardi Gras
Mint Julep
Mint Julep
DisneyWorld
Chocolate City
Ft. Sumter
Bad Newz Kennelzz
Home of Elijah Dukes
1) Skeeters
2) Giant Skeeters
3) Skeeters that will eat you alive
4) Atlanta
@The Gentleman Masher: GASP! Do not mock the formerly-best-looking-coach-in football* Gruden!
*Mike Tomlin being the new king.
Bears.
Beets.
Battlestar Galactica.
as I've said before...call me when there's a No Pants Party
@TheStarterWife: You say that like there aren't any skeeters here.
@TBoRF: I like these picks.
@TheStarterWife: Mike Tomlin, really?
We don't want to speak out of turn here, but we think the NFC South might be our least favorite division in football.
We can't all be as absymal as the NFC West. Sorry Will.
@1980DavidBowieFromTheMusicVideoAshesToAshes: I think that Elijah's trying to populate an whole new Chocolate City, one impregnated foster child at a time.
Hicksylvania
Floodistan
Traffrica
Hicksylvania by the Bay
@TheStarterWife: I see you've been fooled by his piercing gaze as well.
Malcolm Glazer had the same thing happen to him. Oddly - it's also why Sir Alex is still at Man Utd. Glazer likes all ages...
@J-No: Her judgment is a little off with anything related to the Steelers. In fact, she thinks Terry Bradshaw is the best-looking football analyst on television.
Boca Juniors
Independiente
Velez Sarsfield
Lanus
And lot and lots of coke.
.
.
.
What were we voting on again?
@Matt_T: I ran out of skeeter descriptions, without making an inbreeding joke about cousins named Skeeter.
@J-No: Look at this picture of Mike Tomlin and tell me he is not hot.
1814
1861
1864
1781
1. When the Levee Breaks
2. I'm Gonna Crawl (if only for the line "I ain't gotta go by car")
3. Tangerine
4. Black Dog
@TheStarterWife: He's not hot.
But I'm a dude, so that's probably gonna be true for any picture of any guy you had posted.
Tourism/Jazz
Banking
Retirement
Coke/CNN
@TheStarterWife: Meh. They are not a good looking bunch, but I'd take Lovie over him. I think it is his accent.
Lil Wayne
Petey Pablo
Gorilla Zoe
I can't name a single Tampa rapper, so I'm going with T-Pain
Moley moley moley moley moley!
Carmella DeCesare = beard
Not Joey Harrington
Joey Harrington
George Bush Hates Black People
65 percent of the time, it works every time
100 percent less Ookie!
Butt Pirates
@TheStarterWife:
He's hotter on House.
Jazz
Dirty South
Cheerleaders who molest each other (+1)
Touchdown Vultures (get over it little buddy)
@UkraineNotWeak: Ack, beat me on Jazz...stupid post-delaying work...
@Chicago Jones:
You forgot Chris Hansen's favorite club, Newell's Old Boys.
@1980DavidBowieFromTheMusicVideoAshesToAshes: Ft. Sumter?!
Boring
Traffic
Humidity
Are You Kidding Me?
@Botswana Meat Commission FC: teddy's a Tallahassee boy
/heard "same girl (remix)", verified with the 'pedia
@Botswana Meat Commission FC: Some of the S. American club names are just plain wacky.
This division could actually be even tougher to stomach than the Central, and Brees is probably going to get hurt sometime this year. Not pretty.
Pontchartrain
No, We're The Queen City
Greater Ybor
Terminus
Honestly, those last two are interchangeable.
Eyehategod
Weedeater
Mastodon
Deicide
@Swellesley:
that's sad that tallahassee has more famous rappers than the entire tampa region. they deserve to be in last place for that.
Tampa rappers: Yo Majesty. 3 black lesbians... possibly 2 and Cato June.
Tulane
Davidson
New College
Emory
@TBoRF: I just watched that.
Kevin Houser
Boone Stutz (also the early favorite in the Know Your Long Snappers Cup)
Jason Kyle
Andrew Economos
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