Deadspin
Like most football fans, we watched the first round of the NFL Draft on Saturday. We were excited at the beginning, fooling ourselves into believing the recitation of names of people we don't know for four hours could be a scintillating experience, and watching Brady Quinn lose millions of dollars every 15 minutes kept our interest for a while too. But once he was drafted, we were out of steam and ready to watch, you know, actual sporting events where people run and jump and move around.
Some thoughts on an NFL Draft just passed.
• The NFL Network's coverage — we were fortunate enough to be outside New York City, where we could actually watch the network — was infinitely superior to the ESPN coverage. Frankly, it wasn't even close; the little "Team Needs" graphic at the bottom of the screen was oddly mesmerizing.
• That said, had we not watched ESPN's telecast, we would have never had the opportunity to stare, mouth agape, at whatever the hell has happened to Steve Young's face.
• Fortunately, Berman still had some fun.
• We received a pained text message from our man Mr. Daulerio after the Eagles traded up to pick that obscure quarterback in the second round. ("Reid has gotten into his son's heroin!") Eagles fans seem confused, but that's nothing new.
• Sadly, Lucious Pusey was not drafted.
Comments
My favorite was the confused looked on Jets fans faces when they made their first pick.
You usually only see that look when they are trying to do simple math in their heads.
yes, yes, yes, dude, dude, no, dude, dude
Jared Zabransky not being drafted is a shammockery.
And oh, managing to catch a little bit of Mike Tomlin last night has made me realize I have fallen in love with the Steelers new head coach.
the recitation of names of people we don't know for four hours
Why did you only watch half of the first round?
I can't believe I'm probably never going to hear John Madden slur the words "Luciuos Pusey."
Steve Young looked like he wanted to fuck up Kiper and Mortensen a few times on Saturday. I actually felt bad, because he was making good points, and Kiper would basically call him an idiot because the guy ran a 4.5 and not a 4.6.
seriously though... we're all in agreement that the patriots are winning the superbowl again this year, right?
@TheStarterWife: I've thought he was great ever since Major League II.
So I guess we won't be seeing Mr. Pusey in tha' league like he promised. What a liar. I bet that's not even his real name.
The Bears signed Chris Leak to a FA contract. The Neckbeard better get his act together!
You can't just draft Lucious Pusey. You must whisper sweet nothings in his ear, feed him cantelope dipped in chocolate, and serenade him with All4One ballads until be surrenders his love...
@Diddly: When Green Bay didn't take an offensive player, Steve and Mort got into it pretty bad and Steve looked like he was going to go over the table at him
@Refreshments_in_the_Narthex:
And by "All4One" you mean Three Times One Minus One. Daaaaaaaamn.
@Matt_T: Yea, and as a packers fan, I was about to drive down there and help.
It wasn't a bad day for Steve's (and my) alma mater, however. The Dolphins passed over Quinn so they could take our QB in the second round. And if he's not at least as successful as Quinn in the NFL, I'll be surprised.
Are we sure that the Dolphins didn't actually write "Quinn" on the draft card and Goodell accidentally read "Ginn"?
@lieutenant winslow: I have to be honest, I'm kinda excited to see Moss as a Pat, and I f-ing hate New England.
@Matt_T: It wouldn't have went this way if Michael Irvin was there. You know, because of the crack smoking.
@Matt_T: When Keyshawn tried to step in, he got JACKED UP! That's why he hates going over the middle now.
@Port City Gangsta: Nah, that may be the one QB he's actually better than.
@lieutenant winslow: As a huge Patriots hater, I say indubitably.
Quinn + Browns fans = much laughter and enojoyment in my future.
@Encouraging Referee Pittman: Ewww, girl, ewww...
@Matt_T: Even with cancer (or whatever's wrong with him) and the 18 concussions, Steve Young would OWN Mort.
Simmons has to be wetting himself right now. Remember when he convinced himself that Telfair was a good fit for the Celts? Imagine the Moss discussion in his head.
@Lt. Winslow Read the Mighty MJD's assessment yesterday and its hard to believe they can mesh well, but i guess we'll see.
enojoyment = enjoyment. Damn, I'm all hopped-up on Mountain Dew.
@Diddly: On the same note, every time Steve opened his mouth, Keyshaun gave him the 'what the fuck are you talking about' look, even before he finished the first sentence.
@Matt_T: This drove me nuts. Young is all like "What kind of a message does this send to Favre" As if that's how the coaching staff and GM communicate with their players, via draft picks. Or maybe with smoke signals or telegrams.
@Weed Against Speed: And because no one wants to argue with a 'retard'
@Tuffy: He wasn't half bad.
I might be missing something here, but didn't the Patriots lose to the Colts (and almost lose to the Chargers) because they defense couldn't stop Colts' passing attack/Chargers' running game?
And getting Moss helps them how exactly?
@Tuffy: My bad, someone called me in the middle of typing.
For me, "The recitation of names of people we don't know for four hours" took a back seat to the awkward and uncomfortable PDA between Brady Quinn and his soon-to-be dispatched-for-some-average-looking-Cleveland-groupies "girlfriend."
Seriously, who brings their girlfriend to the draft? ... Or did he already Tom Brady her and we just don't know yet?
@thesepretzels:
two puffs means, "you should've double bagged it"
@MrRandyWatson: That girl was fugly...makes you realize how much of a douchebag Quinn must be.
@MrRandyWatson:
Considering he allegedly tried to pick up Lady Andrea a couple weeks ago, they must be very serious.
@MitchKayak: would this be the message to Quinn? or to Kurt Warner?
@Matt_T: I'll go you one better; I thought he was good. When that fight came, though, he tried to step in and change the subject and got blindsided. He got really quiet for the next couple picks.
@throwbot: brandon merriweather would like a word with you
threadjack
Who else is going to buy "The Big Lebowski" action figures?
/threadjack
Seriously, what did happen to Steve Young? It's almost as if he switched heads for the draft.
@lieutenant winslow: As long as he doesn't stomp on my head, that's cool.
@thesepretzels:
They were trying to get to Matt Leinart, but apparently not only did the smoke fail but the pony express was too late as well.
@Tuffy: I'm with you when he retires, I'd like to see him on one of the pregame shows. But he doesn't yell and scream so it won't happen.
@bodacio: at least his makeup was pretty.
@thesepretzels: I'm thinking Tom Brady. Or Leinart.
@Weed Against Speed: Dude Abides.
@Weed Against Speed: I'm waiting for the Philip Seymour Hoffman figure with Flaring Nostril Action.
@throwbot: that should be the least of your worries