Deadspin
Thoughts on the first weekend of the NFL ... so glad to have it back ...
• Ben Roethlisberger threw 12 passes yesterday, and four of them were for touchdowns. Meanwhile, Charlie Frye ... you know, it's not like this guy is Tim Couch. Last year, some legitimately thought he might be the future quarterback. Now he's not even the quarterback of the second half of the opener. Maybe he should bounce his head off some pavement, then wait a year.
• We haven't talked to Daulerio yet this morning, but we can't imagine Eagles fans are going to smiling any time they force another team to punt any time this season. This is what happens when you let Andy Reid's sons return kicks. Free Jeremy Bloom!
• We have been crossing our fingers that we would see some Jared Lorenzen this year. Oh, and isn't Reuben Droughns supposedly on that team? The Giants were peeled off the field with rather large spatulas. We think it would be funny if Tiki Barber said, "Just kidding!" and came back to the team. Would make for some fun practices.
• In two weeks, we're going to head to Ralph Wilson Stadium for the Bills-Jets game. We cannot fathom how difficult it must be to live as a Bills fan. The world is just one big nutpunch for those guys.
• You guys here? The Patriots made same changes in the offseason, and they seem to have been effective.
• We suspect we speak for a lot of people when we express our joy at seeing Keith Olbermann back doing highlights for NBC last night. A little of Olbermann goes a long way, but it was pure pleasure to hear him do schtick from before it was cool, and then not cool, to do schtick. In fact, we enjoyed the whole NBC "Football Night In America" telecast, though, all told, we prefer the announcers' table more than the players' table.
Comments
That first punt play by the Browns was like the back cover of Highlights.
Even Costas was sitting back enjoying Olbermann. That was pretty cool.
And Barber seems like a jackass...
"We cannot fathom how difficult it must be to live as a Bills fan."
Uh, Will, aren't you an Arizona Cardinals fan?
I wonder how long the line is at the MRI tube for the Giants this morning. Brutal.
Barber is a ####
Being a Bills fan is like watching retards scuffle.
Both on the field and in the stands.
*weeps*
@preciousroy: Yeah but the Bills have actually been on the brink of success many many times. The Cardinals can't even be on the edge of the precipice of the brink of success.
Joey Harrington's comeback looked a lot like Britney's last night.
It's been a long time since the Lions were + on the +/- scale.
Fire Lloyd (Cooper) Carr!!
"The Cardinals can't even be on the edge of the precipice of the brink of success. "
But they do border Utah. Your serve, Mr. I.
@crazyjoedavola: I couldn't have Roger Directed that any worse for the Giants.
I am not going to bitch about the Eagles this week. Instead I am going to ask anyone if they know where I can get my hands on the suit Moose Johnston was wearing. Bamboo never looked so good on a man.
There were so many Giants injuries I half expect to see Tiki listed as questionable for next Sunday's broadcast.
@Suss--: Olbermann proves how retarded most of the other talking heads are...I swear, during pre-game and halftime shows, I wondered if substituting Kige might be an upgrade over just about every clown speaking gibberish.
Am I the only one that thinks Olberman is a giant douche? A whole (not very funny) segment on Jets fans being obnoxious? Now there's some deep analysis. Will he report on the whole Philadelphia/Santa Claus thing next week?
@Sh!tShow: Nope, he's still listed as 'dickhead.'
@MattMillenFanClub: Mike Martz offenses are very rarely on the + side of the +/-.
Purple Jesus will take all the pain away if you just open your heart to him.
@Matt_T: He completed 72% of his passes - would have been 75% if Michael Jenkins wasn't so crap-tacular.
Other than his first INT...not a bad game. They need to get the ball to Norwood more, that much is crystal clear.
Olbermann is the Kenny Mayne of NBC.
@MattMillenFanClub:
The first Lions touchdown was all Mr. Ford needed to sign Matty to another 5 year extension.
@Chief Wahoo: I think he's gone from being amusing to being a self-aggrandizing douche, if it makes you feel any better.
He might change my feelings if he brought back the Groucho Marx-esque 'stache he had when first showed up on Sportscenter.
@Chief Wahoo: It's a take off of his "Worst Person in the World" segment he does on Countown on MSNBC. I think that he can spend his time better sneaking up behind his co-anchors on camera.
Can someone please explain to the Rams that screen passes on 3rd and long are not an efficient way to get a 1st down.
Also, i'm not sure if Steven Jackson got the memo, but the object of the game is to hold on to the football, not drop it everytime someone touches you. Maybe i'm old fashioned, but I find fumbling the ball away to not be the most effective way to win a game.
Yeah, the players table is akin to the kid's table at Thanksgiving dinner. Chris Collinsworth will do anything he can to move to the big table.
I really wish we had Reno Mahe back there.
/Earth spirals into the heart of the Sun upon the utterance of these words.
@LostinTheOffice: I think we're one wide receiver away from being an also-ran
If there's a God, Brady Quinn will be starting by the time the Brownies visit Heinz Field....and then Steeler Nation will violate one of its laws and eat the flesh of others.
@Chief Wahoo: Personally, I love KO, but obviously others (including just about anyone who tivos Fox News) don't. I think he's a breath of fresh air from the Bradshaws and Bermans of the world.
Somewhere in Green Bay, Wisconsin, stands a statue of Mason Crosby carved in perfectly aged cheddar...
pretty hilarious how Keef buried the entire Fox crew, too... between he & Tiki, that's some major bridge pyro.
I heard Tiki on Mike and the Dog, and I must say he made some valid points and was fairly articulate. He did sound like a condescending douchebag at times though.
Oh, it was nice to see Jets fans sink to the level of Eagles fans. Olbermann wasn't far off in his analysis about the worst person of the week.
@LIGHTTHELAMP: How about Collinsworth's bit at halftime "what they are really thinking" or something like that, where he told the viewers what Belichick's thoughts were during his post-game interview?
The smug little prick thought he had a hilarious little skit set-up only for it to fail miserably.
@Hustler of Culture: Tiki went to The Grape (UVA-Charlottesville), so that's fairly well-known in VA. Oh yeah, I don't want to hear about the tough streets of Roanoke he grew up on; he went to the same high school as J.J. Redick. What more can I say?
The Eagles are just reaping the negative karma they get from cutting Bloom, delivered by fellow CU alum Mason Crosby, who will apparently now have his choice of beefy Wisconsin chicks.
Judging from the first week, the NFC could be an awe inspiring craptacular this season
@Portugal_The_Man: If you watch closely, Steven Jackson almost fumbles in that Nike commercial.
@Civil Negligence:
@The Gentleman Masher: I've never seen him on MSNBC but if you bill yourself as being hip or edgy you have to do a lot better than going after Jets fans. If you won't rock the boat a little you are just another corporate whore. That's fine, but don't claim to be anything else.
@Portugal_The_Man: Can someone please explain to the Rams that screen passes on 3rd and long are not an efficient way to get a 1st down.
Did the Rams hire Dan Henning as their offensive coordinator?
Actual Conversation from the Pats-Jets game yesterday:
Jets DB: Now don't try anything funny this time, Randy. I'm going to be on you like red beans on ... Hey, hey! Hey, don't run so fast. Hey, no fair! You got long legs, I've got these little bitty hooves. Randy!
@Chief Wahoo: I'm a Jet fan. The fans at the Meadowlands had it coming.
@UNC Samurai: Maybe they brought back Chuck Knox.
@Chief Wahoo: I'm in your camp, Chief. I know he's smarter than most sports talking heads (admittedly not a high bar), but he's just annoyed the hell out of me since way back during his local LA days.
@Mackey Sassers Right Arm:
It was up within 15 minutes of the end of the game, most likely.
@UNC Samurai: I thought they hired Paul Hackett. Jet fans loved them some Paul.
A small request for Fox Sports executives: it's bad enough you force Tony Siragusa on us. Can you at least just keep him on audio. No need to give us visuals.
@LIGHTTHELAMP: If Belichick has sufficiently confused C.C. enough to make him look like an idiot, then that always puts a smile on my face. Bill has the handling-the-media down to a science.
@Frank Beamers Goiter: "UVA-Charlottesville"?
Oh, is that where UVA is? *rolls eyes*
@preciousroy:
Bills fans are typically in loser denial.
Happens every year...they get their hopes up, talk a lot of shit until the first nutpunch (nice, Will) and then they cry "....but we'll be awesome next year! Damn injuries!"
It's fun watching them squirm around here.
@Chad Sexington:
I could see cheering if David Barrett had been hurt. Boy was he awful out there yesterday.