I can't wait to read Shaugnessy's column in the Globe tomorrow talking about how the Sox just signed Chan Ho Park Jr for $52M.

He is almost as bad as Bayless....

Fuck you, Will!

i need sound

I once wished upon a star that Dan Marino's arms would be cut off by a wood chipper

'roid rage.

That's the same look he had on his face after every throw in his last game against Jacksonville.

Instead of a busted "video of the television" video, you could check the beautiful quality of With Leather's post from two days ago....

http://withleather.com/index.phtml?s=marino&go.x=0&go.y=0&go=Go&dt=

LACES OUT!!!

"Got any more of that gum, Ace?"

Poor Clare--can you imagine what he does at home if she orders the wrong beers for gameday?

Dan's not taking care of the hands that take care of him.

he really hasn't gotten much better in the 6 years since

Bring back Buoniconti!!!

Why can't that table be the smug, elongated face of Cris Collinsworth?

Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell...would you like a cookie?

That clip is about as old as Len Dawson.

Maybe if Marino had a better running game and defense, he wouldn't have flubbed that line and won a Sports Emmy.

He just remembered that he never won the big game.

Good thing he wasn't wearing any rings to damage the table with.

I dont want to come off as gay or anything, but if I were starting a glove manufacturing business, I'd hire Dan as my "star". I mean the guys got great cuticles, and smooth silky hands.

Would have been even cooler had he been wearing Isotoner gloves.

What is with the phenomena of people videotaping their television screen?

Very redneck.

My esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino, has just brought some new evidence to my attention. Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive criminal investigator can be wrong from time to time. But if I am mistaken... if the Lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be... then, my friend, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have *ever* seen!

Lots of Dan hating ... hmmm, who does everyone like better, the real Dan, or "Dan Lite" played by Dennis Quaid in Any Given Sunday?

That's exactly how Dan Marino would react after snorting 12 grams of coke off of his Pitt helmet.

Dan Marino should definitely buy this car. Well not this one, cause I'm gonna f*** this one up. But he should get one just like it.

IRB,
You would take him over George Louis Costanza?

I saw this in the clip show last week. What was much funnier was Dan Marino making reference to someone being "like, the governor of the city." Costas says, "You mean... like the mayor?", and Collinsworth literally falls out of his chair laughing.

no Isotoners?

Ray Romano's dad died. Not his real dad, his TV dad. I never actually watched that show. Just thought I'd mention it.

This is the sort of unbridled passion that made the DVD extras of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective a must have for any serious cinephile. Strasberg don't teach that shit.

I'll have you know Marino won many a Wild Card game.

If Terrell Davis had been a Dolphin, Marino would have won 2 Super Bowls too. At the very least, they would have beaten that God-awful Chargers team and been blown out by the 49ers.

KC - It was Peter Boyle. Also played the monster in Young Frankenstein.

Puttin' on the Ritz

Dan Marino can now be seen bringing playoff-level intensity to Nutri-System commercials.

Why hire a guy with nice cuticles to be your glove model? Wouldn't you want him to be, ya know, wearing gloves in the ads?

That was back when Marino was living in a van down by the river.

ILPHPH: thats a tough one, do you think George's large wallet has caused him to be less mobile than Marino? wait, "less-mobile" than Marino, is that even possible?

Good to see this thread and the YouTube thread getting plenty of Ace Ventura shots in.

Seitz: sex sells, and at some point the gloves come off

He saw a spider. Dan hates spiders.

Len Dawson is a terrible broadcaster. And Champion Chrysler sucks, I don't care how many ads ol' Lennie does.

Marino couldn't have won with Davis or anyone else. His ego was too large and he liked to choke. Some people do.

The best Marino as broadcaster moment came after he'd accepted the figurehead position of GM-in-training for the Dolphins but before he reversed field and said he wasn't going to take the job essentially because it was too much work. After the last game of the season, the rest of the CBS studio crew all made a big deal of congratulating him and patting him on the back. They were barely disguising their sarcasm, because they and everyone on the planet knew that in the end, Marino wouldn't give up the cushy work schedule and fat paycheck that came with his studio job. It was just a matter of time before Marino formally admitted this, but there was no way that he would make this announcement during a live studio broadcast. The rest of the CBS crew rubbed it in with their phony congratulations, and Marino had to play along. The look on his face betrayed him, though; he looked like he finally realized how dumb he was.

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I'm Tits...I'm Dan Marino.