Deadspin
Fully capitalizing on something it stumbled across last season, the official Redskins site Redskins.com is now selling T-shirts adorned with every Clinton Portis character from his press conferences last year. Those who were with us last season will remember our schoolgirl crush on Portis, particularly Coach Janky Spanky, who resembled pretty much every gym teacher we've ever had.
We suppose we could lament this crass commercialization of a viral Web trend — because we hate it when people do that — but it's instructive to remember that Portis' characters became popular not because ordinary press conference, but because the press conferences were first broadcast on the Web, at Redskins.com. From there, they grew into the larger phenomenon. So we don't begrudge them a little T-shirt to monetize the trend, as long as they come up with something equally amusing for the site this year. Might we suggest something with Chris Cooley?
Portis T-Shirt [Redskins.com]
Coach Janky Spanky: Cliffs Notes Version [Deadspin]
Comments
Nice shorts.
All hail the H-back.
If it weren't for the fact that some of my money would end up in the hands of Dan Snyder, I would absolutely buy one of those.
I'd like to invite you to the Hot Pants Party.
Shorts are one thing, Male Hot Pants are something else entirely! Though I appreciate the every-so-often-beefcake for the female Deadspin readership.
He's no less than 43.7 percent gay.
Cooley might as well run for president in '08
chris mottram of savedbytheblog.com has video of cooley from that practice session...if you want to learn more about his coif
Damn, a DUDE beat me to the hot pants comment? What is this world coming to?
people, they're boxers, it's 100 degrees outside so he lost a layer at some point.
and snyder can charge (and overcharge) all he wants as long as the skins can continue to employ the best coaching staff that the nfl has ever seen.
"...our precious cargo."
"You mean the hot pants?"
"Aye, the hot pants."
From the initial page load, that picture is SFW. Scrolling down, however . . . is "The Rest Of The Story."
Cooley was on my fantasy team last year. And I don't mean fantasy football.
people, they're boxers, it's 100 degrees outside so he lost a layer at some point
No, it's totally sensible. I play contact sports in my underwear with other men FUCKING NEVER.
Brilliant marketing strategy by redskins.com. Baby doll tees of Janky Spanky will go like hot cakes.
Christ, now I have to buy Redskin gear? Ick.. won't somebody please trade for Portis so I don't have to?
Ok Unsilent, I'll bite. The 58 Giants had Vince Lombardi and Tom Landry, as Offensive and Defensive coordinators respectively.
hahahaha, i'm pretty sure they were just stretching and running drills...or maybe he was just changing shorts...or maybe he wanted to make it up to all the ladies that paid $25 to park.
cooley can do no wrong
Ladies and gentlemen, Johnny Whitegay!
hey tom, FUCK tom landry and his stupid fucking hat!
it's all about gibbs, saunders, g williams, and bugel
If it's collective coaching talent, I'm pretty sure one of Bill Walsh's 49ers team had, at any point in time, Mike Holmgren, Mike Shanahan, George Seifert, Ray Rhodes, and Dennis Green as coaches.
When Gregg Williams has a fictional middle school named after him, we can talk.
So who actually paid the $150 admission price to get into training camp and take that sexy picture?
tom, next time you're in canton be sure to check out the jim lee howell exhibit...oh wait...
Probably Marty Morninwheg too, badbabu.
the difference with the walsh staffs is that all those guys were young and inexperienced coaches. saunders and williams are considered to be the best coordinators in the league.
CC, excellent reference. The only line funnier than that is "Hello? Is this... GBM?"
Is it because he just got those thighs waxed for two-a-days?
I'm uncomfortable looking at that picture. It's like those Davidoff Cool Water print ads that make me wonder if I'm only 99% hetero.
G. Williams, great DC, horrible head coach. They're still picking the wreckage out of Orchard Park after his reign of error.
Thats probably true, Tom, but MM pulls the collective IQ of that staff down a few notches.
As a lifelong Cows fan, it pains me to say I probably agree with you, UM. Let's just see if it translates into an NFC East title.
"When Gregg Williams has a fictional middle school named after him, we can talk"
Having lived in Texas last year, I assure you King of The Hill is real and in no way fictional
parker, i couldn't agree more
[Hilarious double entendre involving the word 'Skins' that is way too genius to execute for Suss]
you're with me, chris cooley.
Lets hold off on praising the exortbitantly paid and much vaunted coaching staff of the Skins too much until they actually do something. They made the playoffs last year, granted, but big woop. For what Snyder's paying that's hardly impressive.
You're with me, hotpants.
Chris Cooley stars in "Training Camp: The Musical".
UM, this has been so much fun to read. I'm so used to being the one defending the Skins and attacking those who dare go against them.
People here are just in denial about the Skins. They hate Synder and just want the Skins to lose because of it. But they won't!
Why is ZZ Top's "Legs" running through my head right now?
badbabu, please never mention the name George Seifert again. I'd like to ask the judges to stricken it from the record and make a rule that the name Seifert be disallowed from this website for eternity.
"When Gregg Williams has a fictional middle school named after him, we can talk"
Does that mean that James Woods is in the conversation now?
What about Buddy Cianci? Or have we forgot about him b/c he's in prison?
Motion granted, Braskey. I was just stating the obvious.
Um, Braskey, that would mean the brilliant "Blame it on the Bossa Nova" ad couldn't have existed, and I'm sorry, but I refuse to live in that kind of world.
Jerry Rice in mariachi gear quite a foreshadowing to Dancing with the Stars, now that I think about it...
Try sitting through 15 straight losses and Chris Steinke as your QB. That old ass bag just road the coat tails of Walsh, then used one super bowl to go to another team and get paid for sitting on a bench. He literally sat down on a bench during one game. Just sat there and wasn't even talking to anyone.
Deep breaths. Count to 10...
I'm so pumped up for this season that I can walk around town in my George Michael Wig with no shame. Seriously did everyone expect this after the Richie Petitbon year. When Gibbs leaves this time around he will leave a great head coach with a great OC. GW didn't get a fair shot with the Bills and remember Bill Bilichek had his bad days with Cleveland. Speaking of this year, we're going to the Superbowl.
We finally got the idea of things....buy free agents who are under 30, and don't let go of great talent (Ok, maybe we didn't lear that yet see: Antonio Pierce, and Lavar a.k.a. the career ender)
note to everybody...please don't start your posts by uttering "Um" it confuses the shit out of me
i agree with the invisible man!
Or how about Parcells, Belicheck and Weis in the late 80s Giants?
By the way who's going to the scrimmage?
How about the coaching staffs of Dom Capers? Legendary.
Oh, and Romeo Crennel and Al Groh.
Okay, you know, this post is not good for me. The Skins affect my emotions more than any other team I root for. I mean the season is still a while away and I am soooooooooo freakin' excited about this season.
Must....stop...thinking...about...Skins....
Stupid Cowboys
Way to work that in, Will. Thank you.
And for the record, my excitmen has nothing to do with Cooley's hot pants