Deadspin
Now ... we are going to tread very carefully here ... we don't want any trouble ... we are just reporting facts ...
All right. [clears throat] Here goes:
Steelers linebacker Joey Porter will undergo arthroscopic knee surgery and could miss the beginning of the season.
So, Joey: Through this statement of fact, we mean not to imply any disrespect or understating of your ability to defy the laws of biology and immediately heal yourself through the strength of your will and the depth of your character. We are sure this knee injury is simply the media/your opponent/that guy you saw in the mall the other day attempting to keep you down by being a "hater." We know you had been trying to keep your cool, but this is too much for a reasonable man such as yourself to resist blowing up over. We understand. We did not mean to question your invincibility.
Please do not kill us. Thank you.
Porter Faces More Knee Surgery [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
Joey Porter's Security Risk [Deadspin]
Comments
I wonder how Joey's summit with Bush went. Did he tell Bush that he didn't like "the way things are running?" Did he ask for his "money back" - whatever that means? I got one for Joey right here: Fuck you Joey Porter you suck!!!!!! Now come find me. I know I can run away from you while you're on crutches! PATS 4EVER!!! STEELERS SUCK BALLZ!!!
Joey's gonna shoot you in the ass.
I think you're confusing Joey Porter with Chuck Norris again. --Suss
Man, I wish Colorado thugs had better aim. If only today's young hoods knew the basics of sight alignment, sight picture, breath control, and slow trigger squeeze... we'd remember him fondly as a gutsy, aggressive linebacker instead of wishing the surgeon would throw in a laryngectomy for free.
Surprised Seattle fans haven't come in here to complain about blown calls yet.
Pardon this rant. Apparently he was too busy letting Joe Jurevicius shoot his ass with a paintball on Battle of the NFL Stars to have knee surgery. That frickin' knee looked pretty good while he was winning the obsticle course event, too. Aaaaauuuugggggh! I have grown weary of this loudmouth. Hold him to his contract. Let him hold out. Trade him to Kansas City...they seem to like our broken down linebackers. The Steelers grow linebackers like Iowa grows corn. So F Joey Porter. I hope he sprains his mouth someday.
Leave Joey alone. He's a fine human being. For example: After he beat me half to death, made love to my wife as I was forced to watch and cheer him on and horrified my dog in ways far too gruesome to discuss in this forum, he said, "Thanks."
Supermike: I know this might be a bit pedantic, but I think the words you were looking for are "forever" and "balls."
But he's healthy enough to offer us one ticket to the gun show in that photo.
Regarding his meeting with Bush, I just want to know if they got that thing solved, you know, that thing over there?
unless you are a blogger who has been to the pro bowl 3 or 4 years you better watch yourself because joey is going to get all up in your grillpiece
Thanks, Sarcastro: BALLS FOREVER!
Billdapussy-- Joey Porter is walter jones bitch. he also got away with a horse collar tackle, which shockingly, wasn't called. but at least he knows how to take innocuous jerramy stevens comments and blow them into his own misinterpretation of how the world is out to treat him like the sisters treated Andy Dufresne. Hopefully like Boggs he will never walk again, and be forced to eat with a spoon.
i meant Bill da Cat... oops.
http://www.post-gazette.com/images3/20060206lfloose_450.jp... Butterfingers! Wish I could find pictures of the three other times he dropped the ball.
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