No fewer than three citizen journalists were close enough to the action at the Devils-Rangers game last night to catch these two boisterous New York gentlemen being politely removed by security. The lesson here is that you will never do anything embarrassing for the rest of your days that will not be captured on video and placed on the internet.

The good news is that Rangers won, 5-2. It was only the third time in 101 meetings that they have faced a Devils goalie who was not named Martin Brodeur. Not that these boys were around to see it or anything.

Devils Security Takes on Rangers Fan In Jersey [Hugging Harold Reyonlds]

"The Lions' mojo is too strong for anyone to break," Fox said in an email to Puck Daddly. "I knew nothing is good for the Lions, they have bad mojo. Then it struck me: Why not use that mojo against the Red Wings' arch rival? So I chanted ‘Crosby' when I touched it. I was angry when I went to finals and had to hear Penguins fans at the Joe — they were actually loud. So that's my revenge."

Anyone familiar with the Lions should be able to guess what happened next: Crosby required only four minutes to record the game's first goal. The Penguins went on to win 7-6 in overtime.

Note to future Detroit sports fans who attempt to provoke similar outcomes with Lions clothing: Do not tamper with forces you don't understand. You could kill us all.

Staal Fuels Penguins' Rally, 7-6 Overtime Win Over Red Wings [Pittsburugh Post-Gazette]

Van Ryn was merely roughed up on the glass shattering incident, but on this one he suffered "a concussion, a gash on his forehead, a broken nose and a broken bone in his hand" and will probably be out a month. Tom Kostopoulous got a game misconduct and a five-minute major, which Toronto scored on to start what would become a 6-3 rout. Kostopoulous was also "visibly shaken" and apologized profusely, but the last time I checked apologies can't fix a deviated septum.

Mike Van Ryn Can't Win For Trying [Deuce of Davenport]
Grabovski helps Maple Leafs beat Canadiens [Yahoo]

Selected comments from ESPN Conversation about their NHL rankings, which have not been updated in nearly three weeks (from here on out call them the NHL Ranklings):

shaba22 (11/9/2008 at 10:12 PM)
go sabres! number one! hahaha.

bevelmatt (11/9/2008 at 6:54 PM)
hockey - hock·ey (hok-ee): noun, Date: 1883
- a game played on an ice rink by two teams of six players on skates whose object is to drive a puck into the opponents' goal with a hockey stick...
... in case ESPN has forgotten.

puck_you17 (11/9/2008 at 6:24 PM)
They have important things to cover... the World Series of Poker. Maybe after that is over.... oh wait there might be some Bass Fishing then....

Scarface_snd (11/9/2008 at 5:59 PM)
This is freaking ridiculous . . . I can forgive them for not being able to pronounce hockey players' names on SportsCenter now that it's live, but to not update the power rankings for almost 3 weeks is simply inexcusable . . . it would be nice if ESPN gave two #### about SPORTS and not MONEY

bdfriedrich (11/9/2008 at 11:08 AM)
When do the monthly power rankings come out for November?

GSHUrlacher54 (11/8/2008 at 9:32 PM)
Could be worse... Sportsline hasn't even changed the Blackhawks page for the Coach and Roster areas. It still says Denis Savard is our coach... pathetic. At least yahoo! keeps up to date daily.

dzook01@gmail.com (11/8/2008 at 7:58 AM)
Maybe they feel pretty good about their week two picks and are just gonna let them ride all season. Better yet they probably just forgot that it was hockey season.

Favorite Savior (11/7/2008 at 12:27 PM)
Hell, I say we start our own hockey news and ranking site. I bet we could even get away with running it on this message board; 1500 characters is plenty of space for a nice run down of a game. It's not like ESPN checks this.

takedown520 (11/5/2008 at 9:34 AM)
Ryan Miller is God

Another Week Of Play Gives Rankings New Look [ESPN]

Cherepanov was not actually signed to an NHL contract and therefore is "technically eligible to be drafted again" even though he is "technically" dead. The Rangers feel that entitles them to a second-round compensation pick in the 2009 entry draft. That's ... fair? But I think it's the touching and compassionate way that the Rangers have addressed the issue that really drives home the pain that Alexei's death has caused.

"It seems now as if that phrase is unintentionally precluding the deceased from being included as eligible for compensation. We understand that this is a sensitive issue, but with all due respect to Alexei's family and his memory, he is technically eligible to be drafted again next year.

We are not attempting to capitalize on a tragedy, but there would be no question regarding the Rangers' right to a compensatory pick if Cherepanov had been revived and survived the incident and were on life support ... If an unsigned player sustained a massive injury on or off the ice, the drafting team would get a compensatory pick."

See? Even if this 19-year-old kid was merely stuck in a persistent vegetative state, the Bruins would still probably draft him and then everyone would agree that New York deserves redress. Everyone just deals with grief in their own way.

With all due respect ... that's kinda fucked up.

RANGERS SEEK PICK FOR LATE PROSPECT [NY Post]
Report: Rangers seek draft pick in wake of Cherepanov's death [ESPN]

You see, if all those die hard Leafs fans would quit paying for tickets and watching the games on TV and generally just stop caring whether their favorite team wins or loses, then maybe they wouldn't have anything to complain about.

Face it… you just can’t control yourselves. And, the folks on Bay Street love you for it… so much so, that they refused to budget for playoff dates next spring at the ACC. I mean, why go down the same path of futility for a fourth consecutive year? Season-ticket renewals are dispatched after the Stanley Cup tournament concludes, prompting a wild stampede to the mailbox — cheques faithfully enclosed; interest about to accrue. The extra kick in the wallet from 100 percent renewals in early summer surely takes the sting off lost playoff gates, don’t you think?

He also manages to work in a dig at Cubs fans, which is laudable, but misguided since the Cubs actually made the playoffs the last two years. Still, the idea that devoted fans who pay to support a losing team somehow get what they deserve doesn't really sit well with the Leafs Nation. So they're protesting. Or boycotting. Or signing a strongly-worded blog post. I'm not really sure what they're up to actually, but one thing is clear—they are mad as hell, and they are going to continue to take it for a little while longer! (But only from the team that continues to disappoint them, not the media.)

• Most Valuable Losers Once Again [Hockey Buzz]
• An Open Letter to Toronto Maple Leafs Fans [Pension Plan Puppets]

Alright fine. It wasn't that bad, and it wasn't really her fault at all. It was silly Manny Legace and his inability to take warnings seriously.

"I went to go step on the ice and the (Scottrade Center security) guy goes, 'Watch the carpet,' and he had his foot there holding it, so I figured it would be safe to step on," Legace said. "If he's holding it and I figured the other end's pretty much secure, I was just worrying about the carpet slipping (forward). As soon as I went to step down, he took his foot off the carpet. As soon as I stepped on the carpet, the carpet just shot out and my leg kept going and my other one was still on the bench. I felt it pull right away."

Legace officially has as a "strained left hip flexor" but is expected to be back on the ice by next week. The biggest news, for the candidate at least, was that Palin received "more cheers than boos" this time out. Maybe it's because the folks in St. Louis have something the fans in Philadelphia don't: a little thing called class!

Goalie injured after tripping on Palin carpet [AP]

The Blues apparently haven't noticed that since Palin dropped the puck for the Flyers' opener earlier this month, Philadelphia is winless in six games so far. This has caused so much consternation in Philly that one blog, The Scores Report, wrote that Palin "Jessica-Simpsoned the Flyers," which is an interesting way of putting it.

Anyway, it should be a fun evening:

When Palin visits Friday, Democrats say they plan to be outside the hockey arena handing out shopping guides for Neiman Marcus and Saks Fifth Avenue, in a jab at the national GOP's $150,000 tab to clothe Palin and her family.

Local Puck For Palin [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]
Palin Rumored Guest For Friday Night [St. Louis Game Time]

"I'm not really here to rally the blogosphere or anything," said Berry, who in his day job is a writer for Vue Weekly, an Indy news and arts publication in Edmonton. "People have cast me as the universally wronged blogger, an example of the Oilers' backwards interpretation of technology," he said. "But while I appreciate all the support I've gotten, I actually see the Oilers' side in all of this. I'm very disappointed in the way they handled it — they could have been a lot more cordial — but I understand their rules."

Berry's story goes like this: He was hired by a wire service — he won't say which one — to take notes on the Oilers' Oct. 12 game against the Colorado Avalanche and collect quotes afterward. To pass the time in the press box, he also decided to live blog the game for his own site, Covered In Oil, which is one of the most widely read hockey blogs on the computer tubes. But this didn't sit well with the Oilers PR department, who were familiar with Berry's keyboard stylings and were not, as they say, big fans. While Berry was in mid-blog, the team sent a PR Monkey to the press box to literally pull the plug on the live blog, and escort Berry from the premises. And apparently they were none to polite about it. Berry writes about it here, including the part where he is flogged, keelhauled and later used as chum.

"The specific reason I was given was that I was credentialed for another purpose," Berry said. "I wasn't authorized to write for anyone besides the wire service while I was in the press box. I apologized at the time, telling them that I hadn't been aware of the rule, but they weren't interested in hearing my side of it. They acted very unprofessionally, and that's my big complaint."

But the blogerati perceives this as something considerably deeper; a prime example of a pro sports franchise woefully behind the technological curve. Instead of embracing bloggers as the wave of the future — and therefore people to be incorporated, or at the very least tolerated — many teams like the Oilers are simply releasing the hounds, the future be damned.

But some teams have not adopted Edmonton's scorched earth policy toward bloggers. The San Jose Sharks, for one, are making a genuine effort to invite bloggers to the table, perhaps not surprising considering that the franchise is in Silicon Valley.

"It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that newspapers are slowly going away," Sharks media director Scott Emmert said. "Blogs are one of the venues that fans are going to, and we realize that. We make an effort to follow what's written. There's the saying about there being no such thing as bad publicity, and while I wouldn't go quite that far, it is true that a pro franchise can make blogs work for them."

The Sharks actively work with sites such as Hockey Buzz and Sharkspage, because they recognize the upside of such a relationship. "But those sites have a large degree of professional accountabilty," Emmert said. "That's the thing that has to be in the equation. A lot of bloggers are out there writing things that are factually incorrect with no accountability, and we don't want to be working with them, obviously."

John Ryan, who blogs regularly for the San Jose Mercury News, sees accountability as a huge issue in the relationship between pro franchises and bloggers.

"If I write something that is out of line, the team can call my employer and there's accountability there," he said. "But when an independent blogger writes something outrageous, often the only recourse a team has is to take away his press credential. So I see that. But you can be smart about it. The Sharks were pushing us to have a Sharks blog before we even had one."

For most bloggers, the press box is still a very, very distant place, and that's the way it should be. For bloggers to be accepted into the club brings with it a certain degree of complicity; toeing the company line in order to keep the press pass.

When I was hired to live blog Charles Barkley's rounds at the American Century Celebrity Golf Tournament for NBCSports this past July, I assumed that there would be no strings attached. But one of the first things that happened upon my arrival at Lake Tahoe's shores — even before the degenerate gambling — was a meeting with an MSNBC exec who cautioned me that they didn't want me to be too hard on Barkley. "Charles has been a friend to this tournament, and we don't want him ridiculed," I was told. So, you know, kid gloves for the Round Mound. Better to stay outside of the press box entirely than to be assimilated like that. The truth is out there, but it's hard to find it while you're scarfing the free buffet.

It Ends ... [Covered In Oil]
Edmonton Oilers Get A Blogger Beat-Down After Censorship [Puck Daddy]

Turns out that the blogger actually has an MSM job, for which his tasks mostly consist of grabbing player quotes following the game. According to him, that's basically all he's paid to do. So, like any good blogger, he decided to keep readers of his personal site updated on what was taking place in the game by live-blogging it while sitting in the press box. And that's when the trouble began.

"All went well until just before the start of the third, when one of the Oiler press guys pulled me aside and informed me that I'd no longer be allowed in the press box, and that if I didn't have a job to do, he would have had someone escort me out of the building right then and there. I was understandably a little confused as to what was going on, and after a little questioning, he told me that I was not allowed to blog in the press box, as I was there on another media pass."

... "A few minutes later, he came back and actually stood over my shoulder and demanded I remove the post entirely, also reminding me that I wouldn't be back."

The kicker in all of this is that despite telling the Covered in Oil guy that he couldn't blog while sitting in the press area, it turns out that at least two other bloggers had "misused" their press pass privileges by getting player reaction and putting it on their blog. He suspects the Oilers had a problem with what he was writing, and he's going to take an extended break from this blogging business to clear his head.

The blogging community, meanwhile, is handling this little fiasco with nothing but grace and class as you might expect.

It ends ... [Covered in Oil]

FUCK YOU EDMONTON OILERS ORGANIZATION [Hot Oil]

Pavel Krasheninnikov, who sits on the Russian Hockey Federation's supervisory council and is a member of the State Duma, said there was no ambulance on duty at the arena where Cherepanov's Russian team, Avangard Omsk, was playing. He asserted that emergency workers took too long to respond and didn't have a defibrillator, a machine used to shock the heart. It was unclear how much time it took paramedics to respond.

"There are elements of negligence here," Krasheninnikov said in televised comments.

Both Rangers officials and Cherepanov's North American agent say the young forward cleared all of his recent physicals and there was no evidence of the potentially fatal disease.

The video of Cherepanov's final moments on the bench before he's limply carried away without a stretcher, which Wyshyinski appropriately calls "repulsive." does reveal a disturbing reality of the KHL . The Russian crowd, obviously unaware of the severity of the situation applauds as Cherepanov is carried off the bench, hopeful that he'd be okay. The odd music piping through the arena at the time also adds an eerie element to it.

Alexei Cherepanov tragedy gains clarity as tributes pour in [Puck Daddy]
Rangers Prospect Dies After Collapsing in Game [NY Times]

Cherepanov is dead. He collapsed on the bench on the 18th minute of the third period in the game against Vityaz Chekhov after a collision with Jaromir Jagr [his teammate on Omsk in the KHL]. He went to the bench and his heart stopped. He was taken to the emergency room at a local hospital where the best doctors in town worked for about an hour trying to resuscitate him. He was pronounced dead at 22:55 Moscow time (2:55pm EST). After the news the entire Avangard Omsk squad went to one of the local churches to light candles for Cherepanov.

Puck Daddy also shares this first-hand account version who says that Jagr was in tears and screaming "Wake up, Alexei!" after the young man collapsed. Crazy stuff. ESPN's report has no mention of the accidental elbow from Jagr.

UPDATE: NY Times relays that Russian newspaper Daily Sports Express says cardiac arrest was not caused by accidental blow to the head by any members. [NY Times]

Rangers prospect Alexi Cherapanov dies after collision in KHL game [Puck Daddy]
Prospect Cherapanov Passes Away at 19 [NY Rangers]

The City of Brotherly Love gave Palin a mixed welcome — some fans booed, some stood and cheered — at the Wachovia Center before the Flyers started their season against the New York Rangers.

Palin was invited by Flyers owner Ed Snider to drop the ceremonial first puck of the season, and was joined at center ice by two of her daughters and the winner of a team promotion for the "Ultimate Hockey Mom." She even got a peck on the cheek from Rangers captain Scott Gomez, an Alaska native.

There are a few vids of this floating around, but this is my favorite: you can see for yourself the reaction of the crowd, from people standing up and clapping to others visibly booing (and waving an Obama/Biden sign), in the background. I also love how poor Cathy O'Connell, the winner of the "Ultimate Hockey Mom" promotion, has her special moment ultimately upended. THAT'S SARAH PALIN'S MUSIC!

Image Credit / Video Credit

V.P. candidate Palin drops ceremonial first puck at Rangers-Flyers game [ESPN]

Philadephia: A city redeemed [The Two-Line Pass]

Here are some current (and real) proposition bets available for the Flyers' season opener against the Rangers, and their payoff odds:

Will Sarah Palin Fall while dropping the Puck at the Philadelphia Flyers Home Opener?
Yes 10/1

Will Sarah Palin get in a Donnybrook with the Flyers Captain at Center Ice?
Yes 100,000/1

Will Sarah Palin get Booed more or Cheered more when introduced onto the Ice at the Flyers Home Opener?
Booed -130
Cheered -110

Will Sarah Palin wear a Philadelphia Flyers jersey at Center Ice?
Yes Even
No -140

The line on booing at any Philly event is always moving fast, so get some action going. Take that one and parlay it with the over on game misconduct penalties from Ron Hextall's ghost and you'll be able to pay for your own bridge to nowhere.

• Hockey Props [Bodog]

Officers were dispatched to the Malarchuks' home at 2:30 p.m. Tuesday after his wife reported her husband accidentally shot himself, according to reports. When deputies arrived, the paper said, he was sitting on a bench next to a horse tack storage room, bleeding profusely from his chin and mouth.

Malarchuk's wife said when she arrived home from work her husband was in the backyard, and said he had been shooting rabbits with a .22 rifle. She said Malarchuk stood and placed the rifle butt on the ground between his legs and the rifle discharged, striking him in the chin. He reportedly was belligerent with paramedics and with health center staff, refusing treatment.

He refused treatment. Just get him a paper towel and some Wild Turkey and he should be fine. But seriously — Malarchuk's wife shouldn't let her husband butter toast without wearing a knight's helmet.

Apparently, Cliff Malarchuck hasn't been through enough [Puck Daddy]

Snider is a very generous GOP donor who also helped bankroll the pro-war ad campaign Freedom Watch, which has always touched a nerve with some of the liberal-minded hockey fans in the city. Now, Philly Daily News columnist/blogger Will Bunch is calling for hockey fans — both liberals and conservatives alike — to protest Snider's choice when Palin shuffled out to center ice this Saturday:

Flyers fans should be outraged — even conservative ones, because this misuse of a hockey game for his political agenda is flat out wrong. I don't think that Philadelphia fans should boo — we're all getting a little tired of that stereotype, eh — or act as rude as the people at Palin's rallies, but I do think that anyone who's as offended by this as I am should stand up Saturday night and turn their back on Sarah Palin, and especially turn their back on Ed Snider.

And send Snider a message to take his politics off of Philadelphia's sacred hockey ice and back to the privacy of his his mansion on the Main Line, where it belongs.

This is precisely the reason Palin shouldn't be anywhere near the Wachovia Center, regardless of how "good" she's been for hockey during the campaign trail. If columnists are already calling for some sort of silly protest, there's already a level of unnecessary tension overshadowing the game. Most people want to go to sporting events so they don't have to think about the messy stuff that goes on in the real world. Regardless if this is done for legitimate promotional reasons, it's a little too close to the election to have one of its most visible figures sitting in the stands at the game let alone sashaying out to center ice.

Sarah Palin and Ed Snider's game misconduct [Philly.com]

Meanwhile in Stockholm, Ottawa and Pittsburgh split their two games series, a 4-3 OT win to the Penguins in game one and 3-1 to Senators in the other. Dany Heatley has three goals so far for the Sens, earning him the title of Champion of European NHL Scoring. All four of those games were sold out too, making this whole European vacation a raging success—unless these teams lose 7 of their first 10 games the way the Ducks did last season after they opened in London. In which, case screw you, Earth, and your stupid rotation. But otherwise, look for many more across the pond games in coming seasons, because ... why the heck not? Hockey pucks are certainly more welcome than Robo-Jason Taylor.

Now hockey fans (and yes, it may not seem like it right now, but we count ourselves among that group. The NHL just doesn't make it easy for us) must sit patiently and wait for the real season kick off on Friday. That's plenty of time to find a way to freeze over your backyard kiddie pool.

• Rangers Czech in with win, [NY Daily News]
• Senators: Losing their looks [Sportsnet]
• NHL Capsules [AP]
• Trips abroad can help forge team ties [Yahoo]

We hooked you up with a little preview yesterday, with some links for your amusement. There are eight games on tap for you puck heads today, so enjoy. Feel free to hang out here and trade jabs all afternoon. Just clean up after yourselves...I'm not mopping up any blood. UPDATE: There is a live blog going on over at Going Five Hole starting at 11:45.

12:00pm ET — Rangers at Lightning [CBC (HD),RDS (HD),NHLN-US,MSG (HD),SUN]
2:30 pm ET — Penguins at Senators [RIS,CBC (HD),NHLN-US,FSN-P (HD)]
4:00 pm ET — Islanders at Bruins
7:00 pm ET — Red Wings at Maple Leafs [Leafs TV]
7:00 pm ET — Wild at Canadiens
7:00 pm ET — Flyers at Devils
7:00 pm ET — Blues at Thrashers
10:00 pn ET — Kings at Coyotes

Surprise! It's Hockey Season! [Deadspin]

The North American portion of your program beings October 9 with Toronto going to Detroit to watch the Red Wings hang their latest banner. There's also that New Year's Day game at Wrigley Field (the Blackhawks are already down 2-0, btw) and it's the 100th season for the storied Montreal Canadiens franchise. Oh, and Sidney Crosby says he wants to shoot more, which means that guy is going to be scoring more than well ... Sidney Crosby. (We think he does all right for himself.)

You can check out the various season previews below, but what's the point really—EA Sports already played the whole season on their fancy video game machines and the Red Wings won again, so we think that means they get their names on the Cup, right? Maybe they can play the games anyway, just for a goof.

• NHL continues expansion of European presence [AP/Yahoo]
• "Flattering comparison: Penguins might be shaping up like the great Oilers teams of the '80s" [Vancouver Sun]
• 2008-2009 Season Preview [NHL.com]
• Team Previews [@ Melt Your Face Off]

Here's the methodology:

He shifted his gaze to the NHL and calculated the facial ratio for the players on Canada's NHL_teams using 2007-2008 roster photos and compared the results with the average number of penalty minutes per game the player racked up for aggressive behaviour such as slashing, cross-checking, high-sticking, boarding, elbowing, checking from behind and fighting. Goalies were not analyzed.

Of the 18 Senators, Carre looked at defenceman Mike Commodore, who has since left the Senators, with a facial ratio of about 1.6 and only about a minute per game in the penalty box, was at the low end of the scale. Right-winger Chris Neil, with a facial ratio of almost 2.4 and about three minutes per game in the box, was at the opposite end.

So at least we know it's not just America that does dumb studies.

Hockey fat-heads end up in penalty box more often: study [Ottawa Leader-Post]
If your head is fat, you're a jerk [The Two-Line Pass]

Even if you're not a hockey fan this will be pretty cool to watch. Of course I might just think that because I've married into a Detroit family that is rabid for the Red Wings. My mother-in-law still believes that the Nashville Predators have the worst-behaved fans in the NHL because of a game she attended here in Nashville.

Regardless, last year’s New Year’s game between the Penguins and Sabres brought in the highest hockey ratings in over a decade. Of course it snowed during that game in Buffalo. And, for whatever reason, televised sporting events with snow surge in ratings. Personally, it's hard to beat kicking back on your couch watching people freeze to death in the snow. I don't know why. Which means Gary Bettman and crew better manufacture their own if it isn’t actually snowing.

What would make up for the lack of snow? Bartman’s return to Wrigley. Assuming they have the nets set up for the game, Bartman has nothing to fear. Or lots. What the hell do I know I'm not from Chicago.

Hawks, Wings to play January 1 at Wrigley [Star-Tribune]

Which vintage jerseys should Detroit, Chicago wear in Wrigley [Puck Daddy]

"We are excited about the opportunity to add a player like Sean Avery to our group," said Stars co-general manager Brett Hull. "His ability to play the game with skill and tenacity makes us a better team and is a great complement to the players we have here."

The numbers in the deal have Avery earning $3.5 million next season and $4 million in 2009-10, 2010-11 and 2011-12. Plenty of money to spend on couture pants, shiny shoes, and tissues.

Dallas Stars Land Avery With 4-year Deal [Dallas Morning News]

Hey Ladies! Sean Avery Will "Jerk Off To You Now" [Gawker]

The Minnesota Turtles are one of the best teams in the United Hockey League, and their All Stars Pavel Riccardino and Ravi Patel are rapidly propelling their team toward the playoffs. However, on the heels of Riccardino’s celebratory scoring of his first career hat trick, scandal hits him, challenging his very identity. Relationships with his teammates
become strained, testing the team’s loyalty to him, to one another, and to the game they all love. In the age of the Internet, information travels faster than a speeding puck. How can athletes maintain their lives, relationships, and dignity when the media spins “truths” which shape and alter who they are and who they are perceived to be? What is the price of an athlete’s fame and the cost of keeping his truths secret?

And then they sing and dance and all that stuff. It's like Ice Capades, but less manly. Tip your hats to Wyshynski for being able to play this story so...straight.

Happy Canada Day everyone.

Exploring Sexual Sports Taboos Through" Hockey:The Musical!" [Puck Daddy]

It's that time of year again, folks. The time you've all most of a couple of you have been waiting for. The NHL Draft is a time when fans of teams from around the league can sit down together, and groan in frustration as your team slings loads of money to kids who have about a 50/50 shot of panning out. Reasonable Doubt will be taking you through the top forwards and goalies in the draft pool this year, and Weed Against Speed will take you through this year's stellar group of defensemen.

Forwards:

Obviously, this year's group of forwards is dominated by Steve Stamkos, who currently plays for the Sarnia Sting. Stamkos has largely been regarded as the best young hockey player in North America, being drafted first in the OHL Draft at 16 two years ago.

Last year, Stamkos lit up the lamp 42 times, over half of which were on the power play. He also gathered 50 assists and an astounding +13 rating. This for a team that only scored 251 goals all year. For those of you who can't do the math in your heads, that means he had a hand in a full one-third of all goals scored by his team. With the Tampa Bay Lightning in full-on rebuilding mode, drafting Stamkos will provide a young cornerstone to the franchise that they can rely on for both goal scoring and marketing. They've already gone overboard with the marketing part.

The other big name in this year's crop of forwards is Nikita Filatov. Filatov was regarded as a solid player early-on, but once the Under-18 Championships (nine points in seven games) last year and the World Junior Championships (again, nine points in seven games) this year has sent him to the top of the list. HockeysFuture has St. Louis taking him at #4 overall, but with the stellar bunch of blue-liners in this draft, he could fall to Toronto at #7.

Rounding out the top forward prospects are: Cody Hodgson (a solid guy who doesn't have the flash and skill the hyped up forwards do, but can play and grind his way to the goal), Mattias Tedenby (speed and skill make up for how small he is, can skate past you and score before you know where he is), Mikkel Boedker (73 points in 63 games last year), Colin Wilson (top NCAA Prospect out of Boston U), and Kyle Beach (Great player, but serious character issues as he's regarded as an extremely dirty player)

Defensemen:

This year's draft is a veritable bumper crop for blue-liners, at least according to TSN (and I do believe everything I read – word on the street has it that Florida is seriously considering drafting Bat Boy– yeah, I refer to the Weekly World News; as "The Paper", wanna fight about it?).

I began my research on the draft the other night over a quaint dinner out. Poring over all the stats, mock drafts and every half-wit opinion I came across, the night unfortunately ended up like this - in fact, I was wearing the very same suit coat as Farley – the very suit coat I was planning on returning.

Sure, I was angry, but as I dealt with the concussion and dry heaving, I realized the crown jewel of the draft as far as defensemen are concerned is clearly Drew Doughty, who will more than likely be taken as high as 3rd by the Thrashers and it is certainly not a stretch that the Kings may take him with the 2nd pick (screw you, Stamkos). Considering his impressive offensive instincts (50 points in 58 games at Guelph in the OHL) and the fact he is finally beginning to accept the reality that he has the ability to accomplish great things in the NHL; which has been illustrated by his more aggressive approach to conditioning and training (he has dropped at least 20 pounds this offseason).

Doughty is in tight competition for the best blue-liner in the draft with Zach Bogoisan (not to be confused with Eric Bogosian), although you could say they share a similar minimalist style in their approach to their craft – Zach plays right into his six-foot one-inch, 185 pound frame, and then some, in that the kid plays bigger than his size would suggest. He's a hard hitting, hard shooting competitor and has the talent to be a great point player on the power play that has the awareness to know when to crash the net, very similar Brent Burns of the Minnesota Wild.

Goalies:

Chet Pickard leads the list of goalies this time around, which, in all honesty, isn't that great. Pickard gets the nod here because he had a nice playoff run and backed up Carey Price last year, who became this year's wunderkind goalie for the Habs. But it's important to note here that Pickard had a solid D in front of him, whereas Price did not.

Following closely behind Pickard is Jared Allen, who led Canada to a goal medal in the World Junior Championships this year. He has what David Eckstein fans call clutchiness and grittiness, except Allen isn't four foot tall.

The next three to round out the big names are Jakob Markstrom (a Swedish goalie who has an enormous competitive attitude and has a penchant for making big saves), Thomas McCollum (the talk of the town two years ago when he lead the league in shutouts before he choked in the playoffs), and Harri Sarteri (clutch goalie from Finland who refuses to give second and third chances).

Of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the goalie with the hottest streak of the playoffs, Dustin Tokarski. After racking up a .922 Save % in the regular season, he ratcheted up his game to an astonishing 1.38 GAA and .944 Save % in the playoffs, with a 1.72 GAA and .953 Save % in the Round-Robin Finals. Plus, the dude has some outrageous pre-game OCD antics.

Special thanks in this preview go to MYFO regulars wraparoundcurl and "Dave Schultz", who know more about Tokarski and Pickard than I could ever hope to. I'm told they're running some sort of Hockey Hottie contest, but my X Chromosome prevents me from talking about it any more.

That'll wrap up MYFO's preview of the Draft. Be sure to tune in Friday night to Versus at 8 PM EDT to watch, and follow along with our liveblog of the first round. So join the draft party of your choice, pop a cold one, and join us as we laugh at foreigners with funny names.

Nope, not in hockey, where the Stanley Cup Trophy is wooed by Lil Jon and seduced by teenage sirens. You're not even supposed to touch the Trophy unless you've won one, and some players have even baptized their children in it.

And it has even been a featured soap opera actor:

Here's to the Stanley Cup: A trophy that actually means something. Unlike some trophies.

Game 5's aura hung over Mellon Arena. The Penguins had snatched victory, $6 champagne, and the Stanley Cup away from Detroit. Would this young team continue to shock the hockey world? Or would Detroit hunker down and play the style of hockey that led them to this point?

Detroit started the game inauspiciously enough. Petr Sykora attempted to get the Pens on the board early when Niklas Kronwall accidentally backhanded a weak pass directly at the Czech forward. However, unlike Game 5, Sykora did not guarantee anything to Pierre McGuire, so Chris Osgood trapped the puck between his legs. Three minutes later, with the Red Wings on the power play, Henrik Zetterberg found Brian Rafalski, whose wrist shot deflected off Hal Gill and past Marc-Andre Fleury. Detroit complicated their early lead by taking two minor penalties 27 seconds apart, but the foursome of Zetterberg, Lidstrom, Kronwall, and Osgood allowed only two shots during this period.

The second period brought more open ice than the first, but the Red Wings still controlled the game's tempo. More important, Fleury's fivehole weakness came to light. With 8:05 remaining, the Pittsburgh netminder stopped a sharp-angle slapper from Mikael Samuelsson, leaving a big rebound. Valtteri Filppula's backhanded swat at the rebound did not leave the ice, but found its way in between Fleury's pads and into the net, giving Detroit a 2-0. Mellon Arena remained stunned until Evgeni Malkin scored his first goal of the series on a power play to reduce the deficit to one again.

When the third period started, Fleury, the player who saved the Pens' tails in Game 5, needed to show that same poise and concentration that necessitated a sixth game; Detroit's suffocating trap yielded few chances for a sustained attack. Unfortunately for Pittsburgh, he could not maintain that level of play. Zetterberg, the most dangerous man in the playoffs, skated one-on-four into the Penguins zone before ripping a wrist shot that Fleury slowed down before it passed through his legs and stopped inches short of the net. From the main angle, the puck appeared to be under Fleury, but the referee behind the net saw that the puck was not covered. Fleury, also not aware of the puck's location, instinctively fell backwards. Instead, he knocked the puck into his own net before a defenseman could sweep it under his back, and Zetterberg scored his 13th of the playoffs.

Most Red Wings fans believed that a two goal lead would be insurmountable at this point, as Detroit had allowed only three shots through 17 minutes, but how quickly they forgot the series' previous game. After Jiri Hudler's hooking penalty with 1:47 remaining, Pittsburgh pulled Fleury. Twenty seconds later, Marian Hossa niftily deflected Sergei Gonchar's wrist shot past Osgood. Pittsburgh still had life, but they needed another goal. Detroit let the Penguins enter their zone again but cleared the puck with eight seconds remaining. Sidney Crosby, silent until this point, let go one last backhanded shot that Osgood could not control completely, leaving a rebound to Marian Hossa, but the Pens' trade deadline acquisition could not release a shot before the horn sounded.

Detroit rushed to their goalie Osgood, a man who had returned to Detroit having failed in his previous ventures elsewhere. He started as a backup this postseason, and although he did not win the Conn Smythe Trophy (Zetterberg did, tallying 13 goals, 14 assists and penalty kill ice time during two 5-on-3's), he proved that he was not just a lucky goaltender with a great defense.

On the other side, Marian Hossa, an unrestricted free agent, slumped to the ice. Will he return to the Penguins? And what of Ryan Malone and Brooks Orpik, two other key cogs to the Penguins playoff run? Ray Shero will have a tough decision on who to keep.

Finally, to lighten the atmosphere, Gary Bettman appeared to hand out some hardware. After Zetterberg claimed the Conn Smythe Trophy, Lidstrom, the first European captain to win a Stanley Cup, skated over to the diminutive commissioner. After posing for his photo with Bettman, he returned to his team with hardware in hand and handed the Cup to Dallas Drake, the 16-year veteran who played in over one thousand games without reaching the Stanley Cup Finals. Drake signed a one-year deal last year, looking for one last championship opportunity. Although his struggle was not a media sensation like that of Ray Bourque, it was refreshing to see him glide over the ice, holding his dream above his head.

So ends another hockey season. Will Detroit succeed where other teams have failed and win consecutive Stanley Cups? They return with many of their major parts intact. Lidstrom, Zetterberg, Datsyuk, Holmstrom, Franzen, Osgood, and many others are signed through at least next year. Or will another team usurp them? We at MYFO cannot wait for September to come.

The five of us would like to thank Deadspin for the opportunity to provide you with myopic hockey analysis and supererogatory sophomoric humor and female body parts for the past two months (I'm most proud of giving the sobriquet "Sphincters" to San Jose's team). Even though the postseason is over, the NHL Entry Draft is June 20-21, and training camps start soon afterward. So, if you're looking for the best objective hockey analysis, stay far, far away from the hyperlink at the top of the page. However, if you're looking for a place to make fun of Steven Stamkos' hair, do peruse our fair site.

Supposedly, Babe Ruth pointed to the center field bleachers at Wrigley Field before hitting a home run on the very next pitch. What little proof we have of that event actually taking place is based on a grainy photograph and some old men who swear that it happened. This dubious evidence leads me to believe that the whole event never happened. On the other hand, I know that Petr Sykora said that he'd win the game for Pittsburgh, then he buried a power play goal in the third overtime to give the Penguins a 4-3 win.

Pittsburgh started the game in an inauspicious manner by committing back-to-back penalties. Brooks Orpik hooked Valteri Filppula 2:06 into the first period, but Detroit only managed two Nicklas Lidstrom blue-line slap shots. Nine seconds after Orpik was released, Therrien sent six players onto the ice, resulting in another Red Wings power play. Nevertheless, no damage was sustained, as Detroit committed a penalty of its own one minute later.

From that moment forward, the visiting Pens dominated the rest of the period. Tomas Holmstrom's neutral zone turnover led to Pascal "Don't Call Me Pascual, Ed Olczyk" Dupuis's entry into the Wings' zone. Marian Hossa's first shot attempt hit Chris Osgood's right shoulder, but Dupuis gathered the puck along the right wing boards, passed to Sidney Crosby behind the net, who found Hossa open in between the face-off circles. Hossa's wrist shot over Osgood's blocker put the Pens up 1-0.

Six minutes later, Adam Hall scored another fluke goal. After shaking free of Johan Franzen behind the net, he centered the puck, hoping for a Penguin teammate to shoot it. Instead, Niklas Kronwall picked off the pass. The Swedish defenseman, possessed by the spirit of Nicklas Backstrom, accidentally roofed the puck over Osgood's shoulder. All signs pointed to a dominant performance by the Penguins and a sure trip back to the Civic Arena.

Ahh, how twenty minutes of screaming and fortitude questioning can change everything. Detroit responded to whatever Mike Babcock said by playing the smothering, omnipresent trap that for which they're known. Two minutes into the second period, Kirk Maltby stopped Rob Scuderi's clearing attempt at the Pittsburgh blue line, passed to Darren Helm along the left wing boards, who let go a shot. Scuderi dove to block the shot, but he did not deflect the shot back to its target. Instead, he redirected the puck perfectly in between Marc-Andre Fleury's legs, resulting in a goal for the Wings.

Although no other goals were scored in the second period, the increased tempo resulted in multiple consecutive rushes by both teams. Multiple odd man rushes by both teams forced Osgood and Fleury to make outstanding saves after one goalie's team failed to score on the opposite end, including Fleury's acrobatic left toe save on a Detroit two-on-one with just under three minutes remaining in the second period. Immediately afterward, Sergei Gonchar, Pittsburgh's power play quarterback, crashed headfirst into the boards. He was not seen for the remainder of the period. Ryan Malone was also forced to the dressing room after a Hal Gill shot hit him in his broken nose.

The third period saw the return of Malone and Gonchar to the Pens' bench, but their presence mattered little to the Red Wings. Zetterberg and Datsyuk worked their magic on the power play, with the Swede's slap pass to the Russian, who tapped it in between Fleury's pads to tie the game. Three minutes later, Detroit took the lead on a Brian Rafalski snap shot off a Gonchar turnover. Rather than sink into a passive trap, Detroit continued to punish Pittsburgh once the former took the lead. Only Fleury's flailing limbs kept the score 3-2. After the final commercial break in the third period, NBC cut to Mike Bolt's livelihood, the Stanley Cup, being pulled out of its case.

A simple person would consider the previous act a jinx on the events that follow. I say that Detroit softened too quickly and could not handle Pittsburgh's adrenaline rush. Fleury skated to the bench with under two minutes to go in the third period. With 48 seconds remaining, Evgeni Malkin, who had been lost for the entire game, dumped the puck past Detroit's four men along the blue line. Franzen controlled, but lost the puck to Crosby along the right boards. He passed to Hossa in the right corner, who flung the puck at the net. Osgood left a juicy rebound for Max Talbot, whose second attempt tied the game and silenced the Joe Louis Arena. A late flurry of shots by the Red Wings was unable to end the game.

Detroit dominated the tempo during the first overtime, forcing Fleury to stop 13 shots, many which were not directly at the skating penguin on his chest. MAF stopped consecutive Kirk Maltby wrist shots on a Detroit odd man rush, a Datsyuk shot from the slot and Filppula's rebound, and a backhand off Zetterberg's stick. The Pens were granted a brief reprieve when Zetterberg was called for goaltender interference, but Pittsburgh was unable to capitalize on the referees' gift. A second overtime would be needed.

Pittsburgh played much better in the second overtime, outshooting Detroit eight to seven. They received another gift when Dan Cleary was called on another questionable goaltender interference call. However, Osgood and his teammates shut down the ensuing power play, including a nice turnaround slap shot by Malkin. Fleury still had the tougher saves, including a flashy glove save on Cleary that saved Pittsburgh's goose again. Sykora claimed that he would score the game-winning goal around this time, but before he was the hero, he hooked Niklas Kronwall in the Red Wings' zone with a little over two minutes remaining in the overtime. Thankfully, the Pens shut down the power play with few problems.

Nine minutes into the third overtime, the referees called a fair penalty on Detroit. Jiri Hudler, in an attempt to steal the puck from Rob Scuderi, clipped the Pittsburgh defenseman on the chin and drew blood, setting up a four minute power play. Gonchar, who had not played since his third period gaffe, returned to play the point. He set up Sykora for a one timer from outside the right face-off dot that traveled well wide of Osgood, but the puck hit the referee and came to Malkin, who passed to a streaking Sykora and the game was over.

Those of us who watched the entire ordeal may have feared the indifferent alarm clock this morning, but our memories of this game will last longer than that pounding headache. Both teams scratched and clawed their way back from deficits, and the third period caused headaches for fans on both sides. Best of all, we get to watch at least one more playoff hockey game.

Linkdump

An interview with Sidney Crosby and yesterday's hero. [Kukla's Korner]

Is Ron Wilson coaching the Leafs next year? [ San Jose Mercury News]

Finally, the Knob Hockey guys are at it again. I loved Tomas Holmstrom and Marc-Andre Fleury as those annoying twins in Ocean's Eleven!

However, a Friday announcement might be more likely, as Blackhawks Hall of Famers Bobby Hull, Stan Mikita and Tony Esposito will be on hand at Wrigley during the Cubs-Rockies game to sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" during the seventh inning stretch. Chicago's chances to host the game improved considerably when NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman said earlier this month that Yankee Stadium was no longer the favorite to host because of a "variety of issues."

The NHL's first Winter Classic was played earlier this year on New Year's Day at Buffalo's Ralph Wilson Stadium. The Pittsburgh Penguins beat the Sabres 2-1 in a shootout.

So I'm anxious to see how this guy gets caught in the Plexiglas.

Report: Chicago Blackhawks To Play Detroit Red Wings At Wrigley Field [Chicago Tribune]

If the Stanley Cup Finals were played out in the Star Trek: TNG Universe, one could say that Sidney Crosby, for the first time in the series, finally proved that his commission as Captain of the USS Penguin was fitting as he scored the first two goals in an incredibly entertaining 3-2 Pittsburgh victory over the visiting Detroit Red Wings.

The entire Q Continuum (NBC, Gary Bettman and the NHL) were very pleased with the outcome of last night's game. In support of Captain Crosby, Marian Hossa (2 assists) played the role of Commander William T. Riker and Adam Hall (goal) was Lieutenant Commander Data in this completely tired nerdy analogy.

The Penguins finally solved the newly-discovered ladykiller that is Chris Osgood late in the first period as Crosby scored the first goal for Pittsburgh in the series. The loyal fans in the Igloo rejoiced. And they were all wearing white, except for these douchenozzles. Crazy!

Sid the Kid put the Pens up 2-0 2:34 into the second period when Marian Hossa fired a shot which Osgood could not control and Crosby was there to bury the rebound home. Crosby pumped his fist and bedlam ensued.

Alas, Detroit wasn't about to quit so easily and they rediscovered their game in the latter half of the second period. Johan Franzen, shaking out the cobwebs resulting from recurring headaches, cut the score in half at the 14:48 mark. The score remained 2-1 Pens as the second period closed out.

The third period would be the most entertaining period thus far in the series, as the squads got physical, finishing every check and going after every loose puck. Osgood was a bit shaky at the outset, but held on. Unfortunately, he was finally beat after Gary Roberts worked hard to get the puck deep, and Adam Hall bounced a shot off Osgood's leg for a 3-1 Pittsburgh lead 7:18 into the third.

Of course, Detroit kept up the pressure as Tomas Holmstrom clanked one of the post. Mikael Samuelsson scored on Marc-Andre Fleury with 6:23 left in the game and things quickly became very interesting. Fortunately for the Penguins, they held on and ensured they would not be swept. Final Score: 3-2.

For the first time in three games, Marc-Andre Fleury outplayed Chris Osgood, making 32 saves and winning for the 19th straight time at the Igloo. Game 4 will be Saturday night on NBC.

Perhaps we will be fortunate enough to once again have Alexander Ovechkin appear during an intermission as he did last night. Much to the chagrin of the studio crew, Unfrozen Caveman Hockey Player refused to pick a winner in the Finals, even when pressed, which is more than you can say for the outfit he chose to wear. Eurotrash has never looked so…poorly kept?

Puckdumps

* Hockey Blogfather Greg Wyshynski purchased Chris Pronger's Hockey-Reference.com page and held a contest to see what slogan would be used. Check out the Final Five slogans and vote. Yours truly sponsored Derek Boogaard's page, you wanna fight about it? [Puck Daddy]

* I have no idea what they will have up when the NHL Closer is posted, but I'm sure it will be entertaining and terrifying all at the same time. [The Pensblog]

And finally, Steve Carell playing hockey. How could that be a bad thing?

When asked what she would do if she had the Stanley Cup for a day, Bell responded:

I would start by eating an entire box of Fruity Pebbles out of it. Then I'd take an afternoon sponge bath in it. Then I'd retro fit it with handles and make it into a Stanley Cup handbag.

Sounds reasonable to me. Other quotes:

Chris Osgood was my first crush. Brad Pitt be damned, he had nothing on Osgood's rookie skill and sad eyes. There was actually a day in high school when I wrote on a name tag 'Mrs. Osgood' and wore it the whole day. I really thought we were perfect for each other. I'd love to meet him and probably apologize that things never worked out.

And her favorite hockey memory:

My parents submitted a picture of me, in my catholic school uniform, with my arms around the Stanley Cup. It ended up on the ticket for Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Semifinals against Colorado in 1996.

To eBay!

Actually, this is my favorite Stanley Cup memory, courtesy of Ms. Hayden Panettiere:

Actress Kristen Bell Pulling For Detroit [NHL.com]

This next game would not be a lackluster affair full of neutral zone traps and pre-lockout hockey. Major changes were planned for Game 2 for both teams. Johan Franzen, who scored twelve goals in eleven games for Detroit before being sidelined with concussion-like symptoms, shook the remaining cobwebs from his head and returned to the lineup. Meanwhile, Pittsburgh, looking for a sparkplug to add confidence to the young team, inserted fourth-line winger / assistant captain / human deity Gary Roberts into the fold. On top of this bold move, Michel Therrien mixed his lines to create the required offensive synergy. Ryan Malone was bumped up to Crosby's line, Max Talbot stopped waiting tables to free up space for Malkin, and Pascal Dupuis was dropped to the checking line. Surely this shakeup would generate offense for Pittsburgh and action for viewers.

Instead, Game 1 replayed itself. Detroit enveloped Pittsburgh in every facet of the game, winning the game 3-0 and jumping out to a 2-0 lead in the series. The Wings quickly scored two goals in the first period. Mark Stuart tallied the first 6:55 on a slap shot from the right point that newly-embattled goalie Marc-Andre Fleury could not control. The puck hit the top of Fleury's right pad, then continued its forward momentum into the net. Four minutes later, Tomas Holmstrom, like he always does, capitalized on the hard work of more talented players by tapping in a Zetterberg shot that squeaked through Fleury's five-hole.

After the initial onslaught, Detroit clogged the neutral zone, daring Pittsburgh to find a way through. This was a slow, painful process that resulted in tens of hopeful dumps and fruitless chases for both teams. The Pens garnered two power play opportunities through the first two periods, but could not dent Detroit's defense. Passing and shooting lanes closed before any Penguin could put a shot on Chris Osgood.

The third period brought controversy and insurance goals. During a Pens power play, Malone skated across the front of the Wings' net and grazed Osgood, who tumbled so quickly that Dominik Hasek stopped admiring his reflection and applauded. Malone was sent to the box for goaltender interference. During the ensuing four-on-four, Valtteri Filppula deked Kris Letang out of his skates, swept across the front of the Pens' net and slid the puck behind a stationary Fleury. With a secure 3-0 lead, there should have been no tomfoolery from Detroit's bench. However, the flopping was far from over.

Franzen, perhaps not wanting to be upstaged by Osgood, pulled a Cristiano Ronaldo special of his own a few minutes after Filppula's goal. After dumping the puck into the Penguins zone, Franzen stood at the offensive blue line. Roberts, doing what any player would do, pushed the Red Wing forward. Two seconds later, Franzen collapsed in a heap and required medical attention. After the television break, he was miraculously cured! Praise modern medicine!

Osgood, in turn, one-upped Franzen. With 1:15 remaining in the game and no chance for a Penguins comeback, Osgood pulled a Madame Butterfly and died when Petr Sykora lightly grazed him. Soon afterward, Brooks Orpik tangled with Andreas Lilja, Franzen (still cured!) pounded Malkin, and Roberts lost a quick battle with Pavel Datsyuk. Pens fans, your hero lost to a Lady Byng finalist. Be afraid, be very afraid.

Game 3 is Wednesday at Mellon Arena.

Puckdump

Will Zdeno Chara consider his life incomplete when he sees the leopard on Kilimanjaro? [Puck Daddy ]

Dave Nonis' last words … as a Canucks employee. [Orland Kurtenblog]

And that Cup will go to either the Detroit Red Wings or the Pittsburgh Penguins, who start Game 1 of the Cup Finals tonight. The Deadspin NHL Closer foremen at Melt Your Face-Off will be live blogging the games this weekend, and I guess Versus hooked them up with some free shit to give away. Access, favor, and discretion my white butt.

Meanwhile, the Pittsburgh media is carving out Photoshops for the occasion, with Detroit MS Painters retaliating in kind, as you can see above with my favorite.

As I've said in the past, I never really latched onto an NHL team because growing up the Detroit Reddish Wings were 17 different flavors of awesome, and I couldn't jump onto the Wings bandwagon, which was the only successful model vehicle coming out of Detroit at the time. And I'm not about to go rooting for the Columbus Blue Jackets, because Toledo will be getting a minor league team of their own soon, even though they won't be known as the Peckerheads. But I'm sure if I wasn't a pseudo-Michigander I'd basically despise the Icy Red Machine, and my two-time BGSU title-winning intramural curling team was named the Flying Penguins, so here's to a Pittsburgh champeenship.

Stanley Cup Finals! Liveblogs! Contests! Free Stuff! [MYFO]
More Wings Fans Top Posters [Detroit Free Press]

Grinders do so much good for our everyday life. They fill our stomachs, pulverize coffee beans, collect hashish powder and score goals in the most painful way possible outside of listening to Sean Avery whine about his mascara. Kris Draper scored his third goal of the playoffs 3:45 into the first period by using an archaic weapon: his chin. The mandible tally launched a three goal Detroit outburst in the period, leading to a 4-1 Red Wings victory and a Stanley Cup Finals appearance.

The aforementioned goal demonstrated the chaotic nature of hockey. Dallas Drake chugged along the left-wing boards, looking for a chance to center the puck. On the other side of the ice, Draper criss-crossed with Mikael Samuelsson and stopped at the right side of the net. Drake passed the puck to Draper, who furiously swiped at it with his stick. In the ensuing scramble with Marty Turco, the puck quickly elevated and, possessed by the spirit of Claude Lemieux, ricocheted off Draper's chin and over the goal line. Draper was not on the ice to see the officials confirm the goal; he had already headed to the dressing room to fix his lip. That is the essence of a grinder.

Drake, another grinder, also added the third goal of the first period. Brett Lebda entered the Stars zone on the right side with Sergei Zubov defending, while Drake stopped in front of the Dallas crease. Instead of covering the front of the net, Nick Grossman inexplicably followed Lebda behind the net. The young Detroit defenseman flipped a backhand pass out front to Drake, who whacked the puck past Turco.

Just in case you think we're biased towards grit, we'll mention some stars' accomplishments. Pavel Datsyuk added a power play goal in between Draper's and Drake's tallies. Henrik Zetterberg picked off a lazy pass by Brenden Morrow and deked Turco out of his pads to expand the lead to four in the second period. The Stars only bothered to show some effort in the third period when the game was already out of reach. Stephane Robidas' power play one-timer negated Chris Osgood's shutout.

Dallas impressed the viewing audience in a fashion similar of the Philadelphia Flyers. They soundly walloped the passive Ducks, last year's Stanley Cup champions, and the apathetic Sharks. Turco silenced the rest of his critics with a solid postseason, and he will return next year with Morrow, Zubov, Mike Ribiero, and others as a playoff contender.

Puckdump

A James Mirtle and Greg Wyshynski discussion about the state of hockey blogging? Its as if I died and went to Saskatoon. [James Mirtle]

The NHL rooted for Pittsburgh … [Awful Announcing]

… while Versus wanted the Flyers to win. [Doubt About It]

Although Daryl "Razor" Reaugh's team is no longer playing this postseason, we'll always have this commercial hilarious commercial. Fun fact: the bra with "Mike" written on it belongs to Keith Tkachuk.

Last Rites have now been read over the Philadelphia Flyers season, on account of the 6-0 flogging they received by the Pittsburgh Penguins.

The Flyers came out sloppy and tight and it didn't take long for Sidney Christ and his flock to vanquish the sinners of the East back from whence they came. Marc-Andre Fleury was solid if not spectacular in net, and in his benevolence he stopped all 21 shots that came his way for his third shutout in the playoffs. The Penguins have now completed their pilgrimage to the Stanley Cup Finals, the first time since 1992.

Ryan Malone got the ass-whipping started with a power play goal a mere 2:30 into the first period when a Crosby pass redirected off his skate and went past Martin Biron. Malone added another goal and chipped in an assist as well. Crosby had two assists, Jordan Staal and Evgeni Malkin each scored a goal and Marian Hossa had a goal and three assists. Even Pascal Dupuis, Hossa's teammate from Atlanta who also came to Pittsburgh in the move at the trading deadline, got in on the scoring in the third period to put Pittsburgh up 6-0.

It was clear early on that the Flyers stood no chance against the high-flying Penguins, and the fact that they played sloppily in their own defensive zone, mishandling the puck time after time, certainly did not help. Rubber was rolling off sticks with the same frequency I imagine occurred in Sean Kemp's bedroom pre-coitus in the '90's.

Down 2-0 in the second period, the Flyers appeared to have a great opportunity to cut the deficit in half, when Hal Gill and Evgeni Malkin both took roughing minors along with the Flyer R.J. Umberger, resulting in a power play for Philadelphia. Unfortunately, Kimmo Timonen, who surprisingly returned to the lineup after a quick recovery from a blood clot in his lower left leg, took a tripping penalty only six seconds into the power play.

Jeff Carter took another tripping penalty two minutes later, giving the Penguins a power play of their own. To be honest, I haven't seen so much tripping since an old Deadhead roommate