Deadspin
OK, the playoffs are here, and you're stuck at work. Worry not!
We'll be live blogging all the day games this week, and we kick you off with today's Phillies-Rockies tilt at Citizens Bank Park. It's Cole Hamels for the Phillies and Jeff Francis for the Rockies. And your live blogger is John Bolster, sports editor at Penthouse magazine. After the jump, enjoy, and, of course, play along in the comments. (You can also email him right here)
(UPDATE: Mr. Bolster's Internet connection has collapsed. So we're sorry, but the live blog is all kaput. It happens. The early evening game will work smoother. Frankly, we're having a good enough time watching the commenters keep us updated. But nevertheless: We apologize. We recommend you check out The 700 Level's live blog. Sorry.)
Top of the Second Inning
Welcome to the playoffs, Todd Helton. He greets Hamels with a first pitch triple. Atkins drives him in. Torrealba drives him in with a bloop single to center. A walk to Matsui loads the bases. Hamels walks in a run. ... More glitches folks. Sorry. Hamels strikes out Holliday to end the inning but the damage is done.
Rockies 3, Phillies 0
Bottom of the First Inning
Technical difficulties, folks. Sorry. Jeff Francis struck out the side—Rollins, Victorino, Utley.
Rockies 0, Philllies 0
Top of the First Innning
Cole Hamels is a beast, with a wicked fastball, curve and changeup—and a hot wife in former Survivor girl Heidi Strobel, but this is easily the biggest game of his career. He gets Kaz Matsui on a grounder to short, then makes Troy Tulowitzki look silly on a changeup. Two down. Matt Holliday dribbles one down the first base line, tough play for Hamels and he doesnt look likely to make it. Ryan Howard bails him out with a nice pickup and lunging tag. 1-2-3 for Hamels.
Rockies 0, Phillies 0
Pregame
And a good day to you all, Deadspinners! Welcome to the first game of the 2007 playoffs. But of course for these two teams it seems like the playoffs have been going for weeks now. They're each riding a tidal wave of momentum, and as long as one or both of them isn't completely drained, this should be a bang-up series.
Hey, in our MLB Preview (April 2007 Penthouse) we picked the Phils to win the NL East. Outside of Jimmy Rollins, we were pretty much the only ones to make this call. Of course the Rockies and their entire organization—huge fans of ours—are well aware of this:
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/nl/rockies/2006-05-30-rockies-cover_x.htm
So it's gonna be Schmidt's in here all afternoon, no Coors Light.
We've got a man at Citizens Bank Park to file on-site reports, but he's having technical difficulties right now. We'll keep you posted.
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Comments
Oh, good, a guest author. I'll just go ahead and click around that website, see if I can't check out some of his work...
Dear Liveblog:
I never thought this could happen to me...
Wow. That's one way to thin out the comment herd. Get half of them fired by putting in a hotlink to Penthouse.
Alright Philly, let's see you cover that 1.5 run spread!
The video at the top of the page seems to have frozen.
...What do you mean, it's just a picture? What kind of "live blog" is this?
@Lady Andrea: Keep it in your pants
Over/under on Rockies fans at Citizens Bank Park: 2.
When does the insanely hot Pizza Delivery chick with loose morals show up?
Am I pissed that the Padres aren't playing right now? Yes.
Am I glad that my job consists of me watching Idioma on my computer while I watch the game live on a 13" TV right next to me? Yes and yes.
And am I glad that I don't have to listen to this TBS team again? YES X 3.
@StupidAngelos: Relax, the rest of the pictures he posts should more than make up for it. Right?
@Lady Andrea:
I know this is going to sound like a crazy fantasy but every word of this story is true. A weeks days ago my girlfriend happened to mention to me how attractive our new neighbor Linda was...well, of course I noticed it too with those ample breasts and those pouty lips. I don't have to tell you she was a knock out.
@Unsilent Majority: pants? Not wearing any.
Increase the number of live-blog viewers by getting them fired by looking at Penthouse on work computers.
Very sneaky, Will.
@filthyfowl: Well, Jesus is everywhere, so there's one.
Penthouse: Shows pictures of women pissing.
Phillies: Most fans regularly piss themselves.
"throbbing manhood"
*FIRST*
@Weed Against Speed: Why don't you just buy some Ring Dings from the liquor store?
I assume that you will balance your support for fornicators by letting the Pope live-blog the Yankees game.
Comments?
God, I hate those towels.
Sidenote: I used to work at a porno mag where my sole job was to rewrite the "letters to..." section from older letters (a 70s letter about sex in a van because a letter about sex in an SUV, etc.). I never thought porn would get old, but it did.
Luckily, I got over that once I quit.
We've got a man at Citizens Bank Park to file on-site reports, but he's having technical difficulties right now. We'll keep you posted.
AJ dropped his phone in the urinal?
Wait...Penthouse has a sports section?? Is Erin Andrews aware of this?
Eh.
Oui>Penthouse
Thank god for mlb.com radio.
I know it said penthouse, but I guess I didn't realize there would be tits. (I closed the window as quickly as possible but I know I saw tit) I will now print this out and have HR put it in my employee file.
Schmidts? I thought it was Becks in here today.
@Cowboycane: She's next door playing tennis with her twin sister.
Is this some kind of blogger exchange program? Is Will going to be liveblogging "It's A Nude, Nude, Nude, Nude World" tonight after the games?
We've got a man at Citizens Bank Park to file on-site reports, but he's having technical difficulties right now. We'll keep you posted.
Odds are he's looking for the female Philly reporter who got champagne bukkake'd in order to offer a photo spread with the bottle in...um...other places.
@Unsilent Majority: I liked the Colorado ML better on this one.
where's the Liverpool/Marseille live blog ?
So it's gonna be Schmidt's in here all afternoon
I thought this was Penthouse, not Playgirl.
come on mlb pass guys...share the username/password. It's the end of the damn year. COME ON....Multiple people can listen/watch at once.
Jeff Francis wants to make this a pitcher's duel, I think.
By letting the sports editor of Penthouse live blog something on Deadspin, Will is hoping they will reciprocate by allowing him to live blog the Adult Video News Awards Show next year.
You know, a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" type of arrangement. Or something.
@Kalamazoo_Kicker: you can't watch anything on MLB. You can only listen.
@44 in a Row: Dammit.
3 up 3 down for both teams...Francis struck out the side...damn.
@Weed Against Speed: The funny thing about my back is that its on my cock.
@Lady Andrea:
that's good enough for me...sitting in my cube here at work.
I think Jeff Francis means business today.
@Lunatic Fringe:
+1. We never get any love around here. What is this base-ball?
WOOT! Triple!
@Phony Gwynn: Motherfucking Trevor Hoffman.
Penthouse has a sports editor? I've only seen 1-2 issues in my life, but I don't recall anything so wordy as to require editing.
the TBS hot corner thing on MLB.com would be good if they would shut the hell up.
Is Budweiser still going to present this game when it moves to Coors?
Also, Helton with a triple in his first post-season AB. His deity is proud.
The thing that kills me about GameCast is these headshots...Todd Helton is staring a hole through me with his beady eyes and hobo beard.
@BigTenObsession:
and just wait until I mention hockey starting up ....
Apparently, Jesus Christ CAN hit a curveball!
channelsurfing.net has the Phillies-Rockies game.
I'm not saying, I'm just sayin'
i thought penthouse.com was a real estate site. little did i know.
We've got a man at Citizens Bank Park to file on-site reports, but he's having technical difficulties right now.
They shouldn't have told the guy to go to the game dressed up as Santa Claus wearing a Michael Irvin jersey.
AHAHAH, GO ROCKIES!