SI's Peter King has quite the scoop in his Monday Morning Quarterback column today: Jerry Rice's agent is begging an NFL team — any NFL team — to hire him. His agent Jim Steinberg sent a fax to every team that said:

Jerry would like to make 2005 his last year in the NFL. Any takers?? Please call if you think there might be a fit!'

(Nothing says Hall of Famer like multiple question marks and exclamation points.) King, befuddled that the 42-year-old legend would be so craven, writes that he thinks it's 50-50 that Rice will play before delving into the usual babble about coffee and girls' field hockey. For his part, Rice isn't talking, probably because he's busy getting a "massage."

Monday Morning Quarterback (CNNSI.com)
Best Massage Ever (49ers Haters)