• We spring forth from the Gawker Media womb, all colicky and cranky and looking like Don Zimmer.
• Just $25,000 to have Stuart Scott spew catchphrases at your corporate retreat.
• Larry King, baby. It's all about Larry King.
• The Saints owner could end up being a real dick about this whole thing.
• We'll say it again: Someone please send us a copy of Jose Canseco's audition tape.
• When you drunkenly bump into Shaq's wife, it's definitely time to go home.
• Jerry Rice deep-tissue massages his way into the sunset.
• MLB says you will pay them, and you will like it.
• Careful: Making jokes about Don King can get you killed. No, seriously.
• We spend hours and hours playing with Yard Work while pretending we're not just staring at Jose Lima's wife's breasts.

Enjoy your weekend. Anybody busy Sunday?