Well, here's a surprise: Vikings cornerback Fred Smoot has had a little different first year with the Vikings than he initially thought he would. (Not to be crude, but, uh, "holding a double-headed dildo and moving the dildo while each end was inserted into the vagina of two women" is a phrase that doesn't make it in a lot of season preview mags.)

"Never in my life, ever," said Smoot when asked if he had ever been through a season like this one. "It just didn't go like I expected."

One suspects if every season were like this one, Smoot would be too exhausted to actually play. The good news: Smoot's picking up some endorsements from the whole ordeal. We're big fans of Bubbles' testimonial.

Disrupted Season Keeps Smoot Unusually Quiet [Minneapolis Star-Tribune]
Fred Smoot's Endorsement Deal [The Mighty MJD]
The Full Report On The Sex Boat [Deadspin]