Deadspin
All right, here we are: It's time for the Final Four. We have our ESPN side of the bracket, and then our Masturbator Locator Vs. Horse side of the bracket. All four candidates are worthy. It's time for some tough decisions, people.
The polls for the semis will be open all the way through the holidays, until January 4, so feel free to take your time making up your mind. Because it's for all the marbles, as they say. And we mean marbles: We're going to send marbles to the winner. Here's the most recent bracket:
The matchup breakdown:
No. 1 Seed: Chris Berman
2006 Highlights
Changed the way you thought about pickup lines.
United Tony Kornheiser, Keith Olbermann, TRL, prime-time NBC programs and an awesome teenager who's "stupid, just stupid."
Spawned the first piece of Deadspin clothing.
No. 5 Seed: Harold Reynolds
2006 Highlights
Fired from ESPN for "undisclosed" reasons.
Hugged the wrong person at the wrong time.
Played awfully dumb.
Sued ESPN's ass.
So, go vote: Who is headed for the SHOTY Title Game?
Comments
Now if James Caan ever groped Vanessa Marcil in a Boston Market on "Las Vegas," then Harold might get my vote.
We're really just wasting time here until the inevitable Chris Berman/Barbaro Battle of the Millenia
don't make me choose...this is way too hard
Boomer: NOBODY...CIRCLES THE WAGONS...like CHRIS BERMAN!
TJ: Absolutely. Yes. Yes. Definitely. Absolutely.
Boomer: JUST putting it out there!
TJ: Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Yes.
Boomer: So you're ALL ON CHRIS BERMAN, EH?
TJ: Uh-huh. Yes. Absolutely.
Jaws: NOW! You want to START...CHRIS...BERMAN! And you want to SIT...HAROLD...REYNOLDS!
Irvin: T.O.!
All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Rachel Nichols: Kid Canada, I want to bear your children.
Ed Werder: Kid Canada, I want to bear your children.
Berman's great, but HR is suing the Beast.
I know it's a losing cause, but if Reynolds wins, I will show you all my tits.
SAS wants his studio audience to boo Kid Canada.
I would grope Vanessa Marcil any time, in any place.
HR is standing up for a man's right to grope interns, which I'm pretty sure is in the Bill of Rights
Do I vote for the Establishment, or the man who is suing the Establishment? In the spirit of this Underground website, I went with HR.
I'm voting with my head and not my heart. This was very tough, but I think that HR might be huge in 2007. Plus, Berman busted out the pathetic "Your In Good Hands With Allstot" reference last night. That just sealed the deal for me.
HR, please save us from the leather/Barbaro jokes... I'd much prefer groping/Barbaro.
What? Why is everyone laughing? What did I say?
your with me, Sportshuman of the year award.
Boy, Boomer sure has a lot of chest hair...
whoa, I mean that Tony Dungy sure knows how to sport of sweater vest.
Well, who wouldn't grope Vanessa Marcil, 44 in a row?
I know it's been said before, but it bears repeating: Monday-Barbaro is going to be epic.
My vote for Sportshuman of the Year:
You.
is anyone else tired of Berman? I mean it was one story... one hysterical story, but one story nonetheless. (and it spawned a never-ending slew of one-liners that got very old very fast)
ok. i'm done.
Well, who wouldn't grope Vanessa Marcil, 44 in a row?
Johnny Weir?
Just to prep us for the next round:
You take me back to a time & place when life was simple & pure. You, my friend are the electricity that beats our hearts, the force that controls our souls & the spirit that rides the wind. You are everything good in our lives - you are our hero.
Catherine O'day, 24; Cleveland, OH, The Midnight Horse Show
posted on 2006-12-19 14:00:19
SUSS WINS!
Time Inc. loses!
You might even say Monday-Barbaro is going to be......wait for it....legendary.
SHH
You're with me, tired catch phrase?
Still gotta vote for Berman....
No, I think he would grope her, too.
he
could
get
all
the
votes!
My vote for Sportshuman of the Year
Thank you, Time magazine
You're with me, most cliched inside joke of all time.
Nevertheless, had to go Boomer. Let's just hope Pacman Jones doesn't make any more plays this season.
Can I write-in Ned?
Monday - Jackin it............
This is pretty much just voting for who wins 3rd place.
No, I think he would grope her, too.
Perhaps, but only because he wanted her outfits for himself.
holy shit this is the part where it gets hard
...sigh...Dear Barbaro,
You have hooves, you cannot use marbles...
Also, Vanessa Marcil is on both my and my wife's list, so if anyone runs in to Ms. Marcil, drop me a line, ok?
I would grope Vanessa Marcil any time, in any place.
Berman got me on this website, so I had to go with him.
But believe me, the battle over the mouse was epically legendarily classic.
holy shit this is the part where it gets hard
Speaking of Johnny Weir...
The chest hair blinded me, I had to vote for Berman
This is not fair. Carl and Barbaro should be squaring off in the FINAL!!! Barbaro's end of the year performance (with the message board really coming into its own) was spectacular, and should have vaulted him into #1.
See, this is why we can't have a playoff. Instead, we should just have a committee that chooses who they think should square off for the championship, along with the help of some old farts who don't read Deadspin and some computer nerds. That would be SO much better than a playoff, and everyone would agree on the final outcome. I can't think of any analogous situation where anyone would be unsatisfied with that...
I voted for HR. Berman needs to go. At the risk of igniting a riot, we need to put "You're with me, Leather" to bed before it develops into the following other "hilarious" catchphrases:
"Whatchu talkin' bout, Willis?"
"Where's the beef?"
"Talk to the hand cause the face ain't listening"
"T.M.I."
"Do I make you horny, baby?" (or any Austin Powers comment)
Any Borat comment (fast forward to 2008)
You're with me, consolation round.
Because CB isn't here to make the bad puns himself (as far as we know)...I am very much looking forward to Berman vs. Barbaro. It's like the old Fox show where they had man vs. beast. And as a twosome, are they Ber-baro? Bar-man? Will he call himself Berman the Barbaro-ian if he wins?
Well, who wouldn't grope Vanessa Marcil, 44 in a row?
That dude checking out Tony Dungy.
I would grope Vanessa Marcil any time, in any place.
If you were talking about anyone else, I'd say something like, "I would totally watch such an event, and would gladly purchase the pay-per-view." But Vanessa Marcil? Dibs.
I'm scared of all the reused jokes we will seeing in the Barabro vs Berman final….You're with me, Dee Mirch dead horse pick-up lines that we have all heard before.
Oh yeah, where do I sign up to grope Venessa Marcil?
So completely off topic has anyone ever had an office-mate that hums at her desk? Not even sings but hums just quietly enough to annoy the crap out of you? Sorry I meant you're with me, Barbaro?
I am very much looking forward to Berman vs. Barbaro. It's like the old Fox show where they had man vs. beast.
Which is which?
Speaking of Johnny Weir...
"Get away from me, leather!"
I proposed to my girlfriend with a sapphire ring this weekend, and after spreading the good word, immediately got this back in a text message.
"You're with me, sapphire."
If only I'd actually PROPOSED that way...
Congrats, NotSoClever.
Berman is just a buffoon. Harold Reynolds is fighting back. Go girl on girl groping.
At this point, I'd grope Vanessa Redgrave.
Berman is just a buffoon. Harold Reynolds is fighting back. Go girl on girl groping.
Huzzah! Just what I wanted to hear after our office party smorgasmboard.
Wildhobo,
The humming officemate may suck, but try sitting near a