Poor SI.com. Two years ago, ESPN.com's Page 2 took them so far by surprise that by the time they realized what had happened, Page 2 had already become stale and boring. (Except for you, Bill! We love you, Bill!) The undignified pant continues with a Sports and Star Wars: The Connection, a sad, tired attempt to fill space. (We know the feeling.) Among the discoveries SI.com makes:

—-Tom Brady is like Luke Skywalker.
—-Phil Jackson is like Obi-Wan Kenobi.
—-Johnny Damon is like Chewbacca. (The hair, you see.)
—-Earl Boykins is like R2-D2.
—-Barry Bonds is like Darth Vader.

Honestly, we don't have the heart to go on.

Sports and Star Wars: The Connection [SI.com]

Update: The death crawl is official: Nick Bakay had the same idea.