•Between the NBA All-Star game and the Super Bowl, Dallas police are expecting six figures worth of prostitutes to flood the Metroplex. Thankfully, (tonyromo) the star athletes of the city (joshhamilton) would never (dirknowitzki) get involved with women of ill repute.

•Know the name Anze Kopitar yet? You probably should. The breakout Slovenian superstar led the Kings to a dominant victory over the Stanley Cup champions, announcing their legitimacy and teaching me that Slovenia is apparently a wholly separate country from Slovakia.

•Are the Cavs even a top three team in the east? They didn't look like it last night, falling to the Bulls. Tonight will be interesting, as they travel to New York where LeBron will see his future. (Whether that future is his team dominating opponents, or losing with the Knicks depends on your point of view.

•Baseball's hot stove league kicked off in earnest, with Jeremy Hermida going to Boston, Bobby Abreu staying in Anaheim, and Jason Bay and Matt Holliday making their intentions to blow town clear. For all those teams looking for a power bat in the outfield, let me remind you that Barry Bonds is still available.

•Here's a list of the top 10 sideline reporter bloopers. Your clear number one involves double penetration, and it's not even a Vikings sideline reporter!

•Pittsburgh safety Ryan Clark is unlikely to play Monday night in Denver, because of a rare sickle-cell trait that makes exertion in high altitudes dangerous. Should the Broncos win, expect dome teams to pump a little oxygen out of their stadiums when the Steelers come to town.

•Finally, I would be remiss in shirking my duty as a conduit for your Yankee hatred. Here's a collection of celebration videos, capped off by the most touching: a man and his crazy West Indian mother.

It's a strategy bound to be adopted by countless other obscure, aspiring Olympians, and it's a wonder no one else has become a pimp owner of an escort agency to scale the podium as a medalist. Campbell, however, insists that he's not like his counterparts — you know, the other guys who run prostitution rings.

"When people think of a pimp they think of a guy standing around on a street corner with gold chains. Pimps are more tough-type guys. I'm an owner of an escort agency," he said.

He added that he and his business partner, Hugo Phillips, 20, employed only "smart, attractive" girls. "We don't treat them like pieces of meat." His parents were supportive, he added. "Mum was hesitant but she met the girls, a couple came over to her house and she was sweet-as.

Well then! If mum is sweet-as, why aren't New Zealand's Olympic handlers gung-ho about the idea? Prostitution, after all, is perfectly legal in Kiwiland, but Campbell's risque business might cost him a spot in the country's London delegation because of that oft-cited trope of being an example for the country's youths.

Still, Campbell is teaching the kids a fine lesson, so listen up: Embrace innovation, not whores.

NZ athlete funds 2012 bid with brothel [Times Online]
Olympic hopeful opens brothel to pay for training [CNN]

The robbery report was initially a black eye to South Africa, which desperately needs to convince the rest of the planet that they can come to the World Cup next year and not get ravaged by thugs, charlatans, and grifters on their way in from the airport. Then came rumors that it wasn't South Africa's lawless wild west show that plagued the Egyptians, but the "ladies of the evening" that they invited into their own hotel rooms to celebrate last Thursday's 1-0 victory over Italy in the Confederations Cup. The players originally cried that it must have been hotel staff who "ransacked" their rooms while they were out, losing about $2,400 in cash.

But police in JoBurg (that's Johannesburg to you Yanks) say they have video of "scantily clad women moving in and out of rooms at what looked like a party" and none of the rooms' electronic safes were opened. The Egypytians are shocked—shocked—at these accusations and ask that you please don't tell their wives about it, although the South Africans might try just about any ruse imaginable to make the world's soccer fans believe that their state is not, and I quote, "a crime hellhole."

Unless you love hookers, obviously, in which case the sky's the limit.

Carousing Egyptians caught with pants down [Sunday Independent]
Egyptian players' version of theft a ruse? [Independent Online]
Reported Burglary of Egyptian Players Turns Tawdry [NY Times]
South African Media: Egypt Players Were Robbed By Prostitutes, Not Burglars [Goal]
No sex, we're Egyptian, says soccer team [Independent Online]

Deborah L. Turbiville — whom police are calling the Heidi Fleiss of Houston — and her husband, Charles Fletcher Turbiville, were arrested and accused of running a prostitution ring which included background checks on customers and Internet booking (the only way to go, really).

"She's the Heidi Fleiss of Houston," Houston police Sgt. Mark Kilty said. "She was the one all the big players go to. If you come to town and you're a big player, you call her. She screens you and she knows who you are and then you're good to go." While police are still trying to determine how large the operation was, Kilty said the client list totals more than 1,500 people. Their client list includes professional athletes, doctors and lawyers, according to KHOU Channel 11. "She probably had the biggest escort service in Houston," Kilty told the Houston Chronicle.

The ring operated in part out of a luxury apartment complex "between West Loop and Chimney Rock," which is, in a bit of bonus irony, right across the street from the grounds of St. Mary's Seminary.

Police have not disclosed any of the client names. "It was Web-based," said Assistant District Attorney Craig Still. "Log in, make your appointment, then follow it up with a phone call." He said the Web sites - including www.houstongirlfriend.com, www.htxgfe.com and www.viviansfriends.com — displayed photos and details of the women. The sites have been taken off line.

Kilty said most of the accused call girls implicated in the alleged scheme were in their early 20's, moved frequently and were college-educated or attending college. "They work and they're partying and they go to school," he said. "And some of the girls were single mothers, trying to make some money."

Hey, one thing we're sure of; Pudge Rodriguez is innocent. He's new in town.

Police Make Arrests In Alleged Prostitution Ring [Houston Chronicle]

When are John McCain and Barack Obama going to step up to the plate and demand legalization for the Super Bowl? Pansies, I tell you, each of them. The South African plan would only legalize prostitution for the length of the World Cup and then the laws would return to normal. Just like the marriages of so many philandering husbands.

Per the BBC:

It said while prostitution was illegal in South Africa, it could not ignore the fact that the sex industry thrives during major events like the World Cup.

To address this, entertainment centres such as strip clubs and escort agencies would be located in special areas where they would be safe and easily accessible.

There are five million HIV positive residents in South Africa. Honey, I'm home.

SA prostitution plans condemned [BBC News]
World Cup 2010 braces for legalized prostitution [The Big Lead]

Oh, and, according to Las Vegas vice detectives, he was the head of a prostitution ring. He was arrested yesterday in Pittsburgh ... just after the Steelers cut him. Rough day. If only he had some way to ease all the stress and tension.

Seigler became a suspect as Metro vice officers probed a juvenile prostitution case. They found out that Seigler allegedly tried to entice a girl to work as one of his hookers, and then learned that he has other women working for him as escorts in Las Vegas.

Seigler is originally from Las Vegas, which would explain why he based his operation there rather than in Pittsburgh. (Well, that would be one of the reasons.) We are pleased to see that sports has returned to its working-class roots, requiring its players to spend their seasons out doing real manual labor, like in the good ole days.

Former Las Vegan, Pittsburgh Steeler Arrested On Vice Charges [Las Vegas NOW]

A Cardinals assistant coach was arrested Thursday night after police said he solicited an undercover police officer posing as a prostitute.

Phoenix police officers took Richie Anderson, 35, into custody about 9:30 p.m. during a "customer apprehension program" at Pointe South Mountain Resort.

What is there to say? The man wanted to pay for genital-to-genital contact. You don't need me, and he doesn't need me, to kick him at what (I certainly hope, anyway) is a very, very low point.

You just hope for the best for Richie Anderson, and that he gets all the support he needs from his friends, family, organization, and 2nd-year quarterbacks who could definitely afford to throw some sloppy-seconds in Anderson's direction.

Cards coach arrested for soliciting [AZ Central]

Just in case it's slipped your mind, Mike Tyson is a convicted rapist, and I'm not sure what frightens me more: the fact that this is somehow legal, or the fact that there's a market for it. Fleiss says, "I'm already getting letters from women who say, 'Hurry up, Heidi.'" Reading that gives me chest pain.

This is the same Mike Tyson who said recently that he also wanted to fight women. The more ambitious ladies out there could turn this into a whole weekend: fight Mike Tyson pay-per-view in the afternoon, and then give him your share of the purse money to nail you later that evening. Perfect.

Be careful if you decide to pay the extra money for oral, though. I hear he's a biter.

Mike Tyson: Whore. And it's not a metaphor [With Leather]
Mike Tyson: Fighter, Champ, Male Escort? [Boxing Scene]
A Job Opportunity For The Ladies Out There [the mighty mjd]