Deadspin
You've been blinded by the breathtaking brilliance of Digger Phelps on ESPN for years. Somehow, in the vast barren nation of banality, Phelps has been a beacon of hope and brilliance. So much so that, sheesh, we should elect him President!
Well, at least he thinks so, according to his new book's flap jacket.
Head basketball coach of Notre Dame at age 29, a position he held for more than two decades with a 100 percent graduation rate, an attention-getting figure in President George H. W. Bush's anti-drug program, part-time ambassador, a nationally adored ESPN commentator, and a possible Presidential candidate, Richard "Digger" Phelps has done it all.
Lion In Oil even provides us an incredibly professional campaign video, from last March. Perhaps this is what Digger was referring to?
Digger Phelps For President [Lion In Oil]
Comments
A (coach of the) Catholic as President?
Yeah, that'll be the day.
Digger '08: Matching Highlighters For All!
On the bright side, son-in-law Jamie Moyer can give him insight into previous successful presidential campaigns, since he was alive for all of them.
Digger Phelps cuts deeply into a core constituency of Barack Obama in Illinois: Trixies racked with white guilt.
Only if Beano Cook is his running mate
I now own Digger2008.com
Well, he is a moron, which is what voters like to see in a candidate.
Only if he can send Dickie V one-way to Baghdad.
Nationally adored? My writing teacher, Ms. Phelps, disagrees.....
Isn't everyone of the proper age and born in the states with no felonies a possible presidential candidate?
You are not a unique snowflake Digger.
This goes well with my theory that Phelps and Ashcroft are the same person. Have you ever seen them at the same place at the same time??? Think about it...
This goes well with my theory that Phelps and Ashcroft are the same person. Have you ever seen them at the same place at the same time??? Think about it...
Fuck nibbles
Digger for President: I beat Wooden and UCLA. I can beat Osama and Al Qaeds too.
How do we solve the problem in Iraq? Matchup zone!
"a 100 percent graduation rate, an attention-getting figure in President George H. W. Bush's anti-drug program"
Attention-getting insofar as it had nothing to do with drugs?
It's like the entire city of Portland screamed out in pain...and was silenced.
/threadjack
If digger has any anti-vitale platforms, i'll vote for him.
Threadjack to end all threadjacks: Oden out for season.
[sports.espn.go.com]
What exactly is he digging for anyway?
Well, Jay Bilas already has a high school gym and some black guys he uses to demonstrate plays.
Maybe now he can use them to demonstrate voter fraud and intimidation.
This goes well with my theory that Phelps and Ashcroft are the same person. Have you ever seen them at the same place at the same time??? Think about it...
Fuck nibbles
Nationally adored? My writing teacher, Ms. Phelps, disagrees...
Well - they got Billy Bob Thornton to support him, so I'm in!
He'll get more votes than that idiot Fred Thompson.
I, too, am a "possible Presidential candidate".
@Lady Andrea:
Et tu, Andrea?
@GorgeForeman: I could run for Congress...
@CliffX: Whee! Threadjacks are over!@!!
I said it when Jesse Jackson ran, I said it when Obama declared...this country just isn't ready to elect one of those people.
Wait, his name is what?
@Tonydanzasleftfoot: But does Digger have the voice of an angel?
[www.youtube.com]
Can I get one of these part-time ambassador gigs? I have my summers free and enjoy traveling.
What do you mean I have to go to Burkina Faso? Oh, so the other options were Disputed Zone and Rand McNally? Burkina Faso it is!
I hereby withdraw my support for Ron Paul. Not because of Digger, but because the man is fucking insane. I will now vote for gorgeforeman.
@CliffX: I can hear the screaming from the Portland front office all the way out here in New York. Oh, wait that's from David Stern's office.
I hope he chooses Peter Boulware as his running mate.
MannysHeadStash: Potential Free Lunch Winner
He doesn't have Phil Martelli's vote, that's for sure.
@Signal to Noise: Phelps '08: My Digger!
Where are the comments?
Gilbert Arenas laughs at this challenge
not if lou holtz has anything to do with it
Touchdown Jesus could be his running mate, to get that Southern Red State vote..
@CliffX:
"Sorry you guys didn't pick Durant"
- Greg Oden
On the plus side, at Oden's age, he too can be a possible Presidential candidate.
Can I get one of these part-time ambassador gigs? I have my summers free and enjoy traveling.
What do you mean I have to go to Burkina Faso? Oh, so the other options were Disputed Zone and Rand McNally? Burkina Faso it is!
He'd be a better candidate than "Angry Obama the Pothead"
@Flametown: unfortunately, i don't think that's true.
@Charles: No he can't. You have to be born in the U.S., which didn't exist when Oden was born.
True story:
My dad and I were in Sears years ago and stopped by the Electronics section to check on the ND hoops game.
When they blew it late, my dad exclaimed, "that goddamn Digger!"
The black lady in the next aisle misheard him and was none too pleased.
Weird. I was given a trial copy of this book and my dust jacket totally does NOT have that about presidential candidate. Either they added that to drum up some press or you got a mistaken one.
Mine does come with positive quotes from Donald Trump, Bob Knight, Thurgood Marshall Jr., and Hannah Storm!
Nibbles running apeshit over this thread is amusing.
Also, please stop the threadjacks. We know he's hurt if we have the googles.
@CrazyJoeDavola: you know about this Ron Paul guy? I keep seeing banners for him everywhere in in PHX but I'm afraid as to what FBI list I get put on if I research him online.
@Lady Andrea:
Ms. Phelps should LOVE Digger. She got the house out of the deal. Digger just got to bang a co-ed for a while.....
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