Deadspin
Sometimes we wonder if we are too hard on ESPN. Sure, collectively, they seem to have sucked the very life out of sports, packaging schtick and corporate pablum into a stew of impossible-to-digest soulless muck. (And, unlike the rest of us, they mix metaphors!) But they're still just individuals, out there doing a job, trying to make a living, navigating this crazy planet like the rest of us. We should cut them some slack. Right? Right?
And then they go out and ruin one of our absolute favorite television events. That's right, kids: At the end of this month, the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee will be hosted by ... Mike and Mike.
"Mike and Mike will bring their unique perspective to the Bee Finals - an immensely popular competition," said Bob Toms, vice president of remote production, ESPN. "Their commentary will help us showcase the personalities of these remarkable young people, and the pressure these spellers face as they compete in front of a national Prime Time television audience."
Oh, and Lemme Know is gonna be there too. We no longer feel any guilt; you guys are destroying our souls.
Spell F-A-I-L-U-R-E, Kid [Deadspin]
Comments
By the way, ESPN mobile is back.
Everyone just go rent Spellbound instead.
Rinse and repeat.
Won't Mike and Mike's extensive coverage of arena football prevent their participation?
That's gross. Just gross. I am so sick of those two blowhards.
Why is Bobby Bacala punching that little #### dude?
G-a-g m-e.
This sucks. The Sklar brothers should be hosting this event.
when you see this and immediately think "the sklar brothers would be better" that speaks volumes.
Call me the black sheep, but I actually like these two schmucks. They're some of the only on-air talent they have that possess souls.
This is a despicable, tasteless, and disgusting act.
/Joe Buck
@El Knob Grande:
damn you
@The Fans Attic: Will they ask how to spell "Ramalamadindong"?
Does Golic get the "Shtick" t-shirt and Greeny the "Corporate Pablum", or is it the other way around?
Akeela is gonna be pissed
How long until they have Simmons live blogging the event?
@Pity Da Fool: i don't know. probably just Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
he's fat!
he's ####!
@Southeast Jerome: His podcast should be out later. It'll make a great drinking game - every time you get confused on which pre-adolescent voice is the contestant, take a shot.
E-S-P-N has a way
To destroy all you love today!
What "unique perspective" could everyone's least favorite gay couple possibly bring to the Bee?
@Southeast Jerome: Actually, I'm pretty sure he did that last year.
@SagerBombs: I was kind of amazed it took this long for someone to say it, even if it was in ESPN-ease.
How soon to Mike and Mike are doing a dinner theatre production of The Odd Couple somewhere in America?
Does this mean that next Wednesday all ESPN employees have to wear a Scripps Howard t-shirt to work?
"personalities of these remarkable young people"
Why exactly are they remarkable again? Because their parents lock them in their rooms every day and make them study words that no one ever uses?
Silly rabbit. Bees can't spell.
@El Knob Grande:
They should all wear shirts with just one letter on it, so when they're in line at the cafeteria hilarity can ensue.
Over/under on Greeny's first joke about Golic's poor spelling: 3 seconds.
Do the kids get to wear AFL teeshirts? What a great cross-promotional opportunity. Now, if they could just find a sponsor...
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.
.
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(I'm going to Disney world!)
@UkraineNotWeak: Save your leftovers for breakfast and you can have it every weekday. "No, Mike, that's not spaghetti; it's linguini!"
They should spice things up, let Greenie and Golic participate. That way when Greenberg gets a tough word we can see him whine and moan like he always does. Hey Greenie, spell t-e-d-i-o-u-s.
@ASox: What a hebetudinous comment.
If a fat kid wins Golic is doing a striptease.
@Tuffy:
Mike: (Throwing his plate at the wall) Now, It's garbage.
In a bit of trick casting. Golic and Greenberg will play the Pidgeon Brothers.
Can we please get the ombudswoman to define sports for ESPN so that we can go back to watching fun things on television?
Nooooo!! ESPN is now tainting the purity of the "crying room". When will it stop?!?!
gratuitous stuart scott tag
@grungedave: What does Adam Morrison's house have to do with any of this?
@UkraineNotWeak: Greenberg will make a great Walter.
@UkraineNotWeak:
Rachel Nichols and Erin Andrews will play Phyllis and Olivia. It's ESPN next film production.
I was really hoping Imus would get the nod.
and the pressure these spellers face as they compete in front of a national Prime Time television audience...
That pressure will be nothing compared to when they try to get in line in front of Golic at the buffet table.
Will: Thanks for helping me add "pablum" to the rotation.
By the way, you forgot to say "One is gay! one is fat!"
@Sarge: Will just wants you to know he does wield the power to use the Stuart Scott tag as he chooses
@UkraineNotWeak: Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith in "Who's Afraid of Rupert and Fox?"
QUITE FRANKLY, YOU NEED TO STOP MOCKING THE CHILDREN, SKIP.
ESPN's Four Major Sports:
1: The National Football League
2: Major League Baseball
3: The National Basketball Association
4: A long line of non-sport fads du jour that can deliver a ratings spike above the National Hockey League.
/bangs head on desk
@Tuffy:
Stuart Scott and Bob Ley in I'm Not Rappaport. It sells itself.
They're ok. Repetitive, but ok...
**Ducking barrage of lettuce and tomatoes being thrown at my head**
Does anyone else think Golic couldn't spell "BEE" if you spotted him the "B"?
@twoeightnine: It's much more fun to pretend you're referring to some magical, Furthur-like ESPNmobile.
Tom Jackson will also be there covering the event, but only to ask kids if they are retarded when they spell a word incorrectly.
According to both Mikes, 11-year-old Priya Rajnikanth is this year's Stone Cold Lead Pipe Lock.
@The Legend of Vincent Tremblay: Why, why must you make me cry at work?
I say they bring back that psycho girl who covered her mouth after saying each letter when she was spelling the championship-clinching word. I could see her being SO into it. She'd be the next Gus Johnson of spelling bees.
Wait... why not get Gus to announce this?
Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot need to be involved somehow.
@UkraineNotWeak: Keith Olbermann and Dan Patrick in "The Best Years of Our Lives". Kenny Mayne in "Our Town". Pedro Gomez and Tim Kurkjian in "Waiting for Bonds".
@thesepretzels: The AFL or the NSB? I mean, there's a big difference between "I'm going to Ladies n' Lace!" and "I'm going to Chuckie Cheese!"
@ASox: D-I-C-K-W-E-E-D.
@Ricky And His Sticky Icky: She can do some kind of "1st and ten" bit from another desk.
@Ricky And His Sticky Icky: Yes, please. Gus Johnson and Billy Packer, just so Packer could hate on elementary schools with less than 3000 students.
@Tuffy:
Rachel Nichols in "The Sex Cannon Cometh"