Deadspin
I didn't watch the Heisman Trophy presentation show (what's the point?) but I've been assured that Tim Tebow did in fact win. As a Gator fan of some 20 years I'm quite happy for Superman, but I'm not going to bludgeon you over the head with my homerism the way Tebow does with all of that god talk. Of course it's hard to fault the young man for being so god damned pious and humble off of the field. The pimp-ish quarterback/superhero became the first sophomore to ever win the award that all but cements his future.
Tebow, who beat contenders Darren McFadden, Colt Brennan, and Chase Daniel for the award to become the first sophomore to win the trophy, said he plans on entering the clergy now that his career as an athlete is done."I'll follow the example of my boyhood hero Danny Wuerffel and help those less fortunate by preaching the word and working in the community. It would also really help if I didn't have to throw anything ever again, since I couldn't toss a sandwich wrapper into a wastebasket with any accuracy now. I would also appreciate not being jostled or bumped."
Yeah, it's mornings like this that make me happy that Jesus created Every Day Should Be Saturday. Be sure to check out the rest of the brilliance, especially all of the advice Tebow received from past winners.
Comments
Tim Tebow, king of 2-yard TD runs and 6-yard slant passes...and yes, I'm still bitter he and Chris fucking Leak destroyed my university last year in the Championship.
Tebow, yes, no, no
Things we learned last night:
- Tebow really, really loves Jesus
- Tebow really, really loves being a Gator
- Tebow really, really needs a speech therapist
Seeing as how Mayweather won the fight and Tebow won the Heisman, I'm now sure the Dolphins will lose today. Actually, that was never in doubt really.
@Brazil Thrill: That's just Jacksonville. The northern part of my state scares the everliving shit out of me sometimes.
After this moment, these three girls found out that they were pregnant.
Robo Tebow ain't fuckin around dawg.
Did anybody else see this Mayne Event with Tony Sparano of the Cowboys? They played the diner scene of the last Sopranos episode, it was pretty funny.
@Christ Sabo: That's a shame. :)
@Brazil Thrill: Kenny Mayne is not familiar with this Columbo you speak of.
If Tebow's career turns out as mediocre as winning the Heisman usually does, something tells me he's the future quarterback for the Redskins.
@TattooedMess(iah): That explains so much about the Jaguars.
Boy, I bet all of those people I saw down here at USF wearing "Grothe>Tebow" t-shirts back in October feel quite foolish right now eh?
@TattooedMess(iah): Amen to the northern Florida comment.
I honestly thought that ESPN was going to cut Tebow's long long LONG speech off with some music or better, having Corso scream out "FUCK!"
@RockYouLikeAnIracane: It's the only part of Florida that's actually "the south".
God Damn It, UM. Fuck this Tebow shit--Arsenal bit the dust and Tottenham beat City. This demands a Breaking News post.
What'd you do, pick a college to root for in every region? Arizona, Pitt, Maryland, Florida... I think you forgot the Pacific Northwest.
@Mannys Acta: Funny, I figured him for a future Chicago Bears bust.
@Walker Told Me I Have AIDS:
You go to USF? Enjoy playing a bowl in Texas against the best team in the country this year. Two former #2 teams facing off in a bowl in December is remarkable.
@TattooedMess(iah): That's been my contention for years, and I hadn't even lived up here yet...
@twoeightnine: i hate maryland. i grew up in a gator household. i went to pitt. i went to arizona.
@Unsilent Majority: Oh, just one more thing... I really don't have a good Columbo quote to use here.
*Leaves room with a smirk*
Steve Spurrier is not impressed.
Let me know where Tebow decides to open up his new store, The Leftorium.
Tebow might as well join the clergy. He'll never make it in the NFL.
Hey! Texans vs Tampa Bay? Haven't heard anything about the Buccaneers all season long. This could be promising.
Sweet one handed grab for #36 (TEXAN).
Yeah, I am like Tebow but wow does that guy love the shit out of god. It got quite annoying. Almost to the point kind of wished his mom did have the abortion they recommended to her.
After Tebow's speech last night, I may have to rescind my previous assertion that he gets "Laid like carpet" in Gainsville.
@williamzabka: Yeah I am not much like him as I like him as a player.
/Still drunk
@williamzabka: Wishing someone's mother had an abortion...a new peak for Deadspin!
This is a Tebow post.
Where is the shot of the woman with the enormous breasts?
Damn weekenders. Don't they know how this works?
Those three women don't know who they're dealing with...
"Nobody's gonna take him away, especially
not some godless Jezebel(s) like you."
/Bobby's mama
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