To Watch Tonight

What to watch while scaring the beejeezus out of the neighborhood kids ...
• College football: Clemson at Wake Forest (7:30 p.m., ET). Oh look, another black out. That's original. [ESPN]
• MLB: National League Championship Series, Game 1, Los Angeles at Philadelphia (8 p.m., ET). Relax, it's just A.J. being A.J. [Fox]
• NHL: Toronto at Detroit (7 p.m., ET); Boston at Colorado (10 p.m., ET). I have Avs of steel. [Versus]
• Soccer: MLS, New York at Real Salt Lake (10 p.m., ET). The Rio Tinto Stadium opener is sold out, as, I believe, Joseph Smith predicted in 1841. [ESPN2]

To Watch Tonight

What to watch while you contemplate your career choices ...

• Classic Boxing: Holyfield/Bowe I and II. (8:30 ET) Wait, really? This is what we're reduced to? [ESPN]
• Series: "South Park"/"The Sarah Silverman Program", Season Premieres (10:00 ET) When you're not just sure ... you're HIV-positive. [Comedy Central]
• Movie: The Bodyguard (7:15 ET) [Oxygen] Seriously, just go out to eat or something.

To Watch Tonight

What to watch while you fail geometry class. Again ...

• College Football: Troy vs. Florida Atlantic (8:00 ET) Agamemnon is pleased. [ESPN2]
•: Movie: "The Last Samurai" (8:00 ET) Despite the movie's flaws, the ninja attack scene is the most underrated action sequence in film history. Discuss. [AMC]
• Politics: Presidential Debate No. 2: Barack Obama vs. John McCain. (9:00 ET) This time ... it's personal. [All Networks]
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To Watch Tonight

What to watch while you try to figure out how to replace the dead power adapter for your laptop. Grrrrr ...

• MLB: ALDS, Game 4: Tampa Bay Rays at Chicago White Sox (NOW) Love lifts Upton where he belongs? [TBS]
• NFL: Minnesota Vikings at New Orleans Saints (8:30 p.m., ET) One dome is as good as the next. [ESPN]
• MLB: ALDS, Game 4: Los Angeles Angels at Boston Red Sox (08:35 p.m., ET) Mike Napoli will not be denied. [TBS]

To Watch Tonight

To Watch Tonight

To Watch Tonight

What to watch while you fake a heart attack to try and sell more MP3 players ...

• MLB: ALDS, Game 2: Chicago White Sox at Tampa Bay Rays (6:00 p.m., ET) Help them, Obi-Wan Guillen. You're the city's only hope. [TBS]
• WNBA: Finals, Game 2: Detroit Shock at San Antonio Silver Stars. (7:30 p.m., ET) The trophy is in the basement of the Alamo. [ESPN2]
• College Football: Cincinnati at Marshall (8:00 p.m., ET) We Are! Sleeping in tomorrow! [ESPN]
• MLB: ALDS, Game 2: Boston Red Sox at Los Angeles Angels (09:37 p.m., ET) Do it for the ghost of Wally Joyner. [TBS]

To Watch Tonight

What to watch while you wonder what they did with the body ...

• MLB: NLDS, Game 2: Milwaukee Brewers at Philadelphia Phillies (6:07 p.m., ET) No one here really cares about this one, right? [TBS]
• College Football: Pittsburgh vs. South Florida. (7:30 p.m., ET) Don't these kids ever study? [ESPN]
• Politics: Vice-President Debate. (9:00 p.m., ET) First question for both candidates: What's the largest game animal that you've ever skinned? [All Networks]
• MLB: NLDS, Game 2: Los Angeles Dodgers at Chicago Cubs (09:37 p.m., ET) Is it just us, or do Cubs fans seem a little tense lately? [TBS]

To Watch Tonight

What to watch while you attend flute practice ...

• MLB: NLDS, Game 1: Los Angeles Dodgers at Chicago Cubs (6:37 p.m., ET) How much mojo can one city hold? [TBS]
• WNBA: Finals, Game 1: Detroit Shock at San Antonio Silver Stars. Remember when the Spurs played the Pistons in the Finals? Of course you don't. (7:30 p.m. ET) [ESPN2]
• College Football: Louisiana Tech at Boise State (8:00 p.m., ET) Oh, college football! How can we miss you if you won't go away? [ESPN]
• MLB: ALDS, Game 1: Boston Red Sox at Los Angeles Angels (10:07 p.m., ET) Can we just skip to the 9th inning and put Papelbon and K-Rod out there right away? [TBS]
• Series: Friday Night Lights. Uh ... Sorry, can't help you on this one. [DirectTV?]

To Watch Tonight

What to watch while you "ride the giant jellyfish" ...

• MLB: Division Playoff: Minnesota Twins at Chicago White Sox (7:30 p.m., ET) Experts agree: There's an excellent chance that both teams could lose. [TBS]
• College Football: Florida Atlantic at Middle Tennessee St. (8:00 p.m., ET) On a Tuesday? [ESPN2]
• Interview: CostasNOW with Aaron & Mays - A Special Edition (9:00 p.m., ET) This week: Leitch eats an entire giant soft pretzel in one bite! [HBO]