What to watch after being pummeled by lesbians ...
• MLB: Washington at Atlanta. Braves are the new black. [TBS]
• NBA: New Jersey at Cleveland; Los Angeles Clippers at Los Angeles Lakers. Oh TNT Thursday night doubleheader, how we will miss your sweet smile. [TNT]
• NHL: Playoffs, conference quarterfinals, Calgary at Detroit, Game 1. Miikka Kiprusoff not weak! [Versus]
• Soccer: MLS, Dallas at Los Angeles. Now with 20 percent less diving. [ESPN2]
• Movie: The Hot Chick. Rob Schneider, the pride of Pacifica, Calif. [FX]

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